Thursday, April 11, 2013

J is for Job: or, how to play corporate charades...

April A-Z Topic:  Jobs

One of these days my workmates are going to ask me to do something for them in plain English, and I'm going to pass out from the shock of it.

 Now don't get me wrong, I love my workmates!  They're all wonderful and talented librarians.  But that's just it, they're librarians, so sometimes financial things go right over their heads.

Take the other morning, for example, when a workmate came up to my desk and asked that question I've come to dread.

Workmate: So, Kellie, do you think you could get me a copy of that report? 
Kellie: (looking confused) Um … sure … which report is that exactly? 
Workmate: You know, the one we were looking at the other day. 
Kellie: (thinking of the thirty odd reports they looked at) Oh, of course. So you want the forecast report? 
Workmate: No, the one we were looking at before, remember? 
Kellie: The expenditure one? 
Workmate: (getting frustrated) No, the other one! 
Kellie: (guessing wildly) The budget one? The salary one? The one about the mole I had removed last week? 

Finally, quite a long time later and after an impromptu game of charades, I worked out what she was asking for. Relief! I knew which report she wanted. I could get it for her, then spend the rest of the day hiding under my desk incase she made me go through this again. Then, the corker.

Workmate: Oh, and could I get a copy of the other one too?  
Kellie: Which other one?  
Workmate: The other one we were just talking about.

I give up.

79 comments:

  1. Your workmate's goal is to reduce the possibility of your developing Alzheimer Disease. Keep your brain working and all that good stuff.

    Just remember to keep the flesh-eating nanobots away from me. OK?

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

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    1. Ah, of course. I must send her a thank you note then ;D

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  2. Don't you just want to scream sometimes??! Oh, and when you have time, could you email me that blog post you wrote - you know, the really funny one.

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    1. That one's going to stay in the digital vault, I'm afraid :D

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  3. This is proves my point that we should all pretend that the zombie apocalypse has already begun so we can stay home, watch Netflix and eat canned food...;)

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  4. Kellie my mother does that with everyone. She's particularly adept at it when it comes to dinner and we're at a restaurant we haven't been to in months but she wants at least one person at the table to remember what she ordered the last time we were there.

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    1. LOL! If I'm honest, that's probably me. I'm sure I drive people crazy asking them if I had the chicken or the steak last time.

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  5. Haha! At least she was speaking in terms that you could comprehend. I had a workmate who would ask me to pass her the thingymebob, thedewberry, or the whojamaflip. Those aren't even real words!

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    1. Oh, I do that! I call it Kelliespeak, and it's gotten to the point where my workmates are usually able to work out what I want.

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  6. Next time, give them all of the reports and let them sort it out themselves.

    If they complain, tell them we discussed all of these reports last time, and unless you get more specific, I'm not doing anything else.

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  7. Don't you just hate it when that happens. People always presume you know exactly what they are talking about without mentioning it. It's as if you are supposed to read their minds. Pyschic comes to mind, ha ha ha.

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    1. I have a crystal ball on my desk that I sometimes jokingly look into when people are being particularly hard to get info out of.

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  8. My husband does that to me all the time:
    'Have you got the wotsit?'
    'What?'
    'You know the thingamajig that wotsisname was telling us about.'
    'Ah yes, the dingus?'
    'No, the wotsit.'
    'Okay, right, the thingie. No I don't have it.'
    Thirty seven years of marriage does that to you...

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  9. Bwahahaha, the only thing I'm thinking is - do they read your blog?!! :)))

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  10. Have you tried to become a psychic, this would come in pretty handy in your job!

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    1. I do have a crystal ball that I like to "consult" when people are asking me questions it's impossible for me to answer.

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  11. Fr a minte there I thought you meant me....then I realised....phew, I was after the other report. You know. The one you showed me.

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    1. LOL! Don't feel too left out, you can come and confuse me later if you want.

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  12. This is why I can't reenter the work force. I would be that workmate. My short-term memory has gotten so bad, I don't think I've completed a sentence properly in years.

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    1. LOL! Oh, I think you'd fit in just fine. There are plenty like that around here.

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  13. This is why I need to work in jobs that are very independent of others. I think it would be considered bad form if I said "be concise or shut the f*** up.". Probably wouldn't make points by being a team player.

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    1. Yep, it's generally frowned upon when working in a team.

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  14. YIkes! Hiding under your desk with the latest new release sounds like a great option. Corporate charades, indeed.

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    1. We're always joking about how we should put cots under our desks so we could catch a nap after lunch. Perhaps I should look into it :D

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  15. your posts are so fun! the titles alone crack me up!

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  16. I don't suppose "Get it your damn self" is ever an option?

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    1. Unfortunately no, they really frown upon that in a corporate environment.

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  17. This is exactly my experience with work!

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  18. I love the ridiculous list of acronyms at my job. "I need the CEF for the CRV BRD." Really? Words are too exhausting?

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  19. OMG! So do they pay you by the hour? If so there could be some really good overtime here. ;)

    S

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  20. I get a lot of "You're always SO happy to be at work!" In a tone that suggests I am a horrible person for such a thing. (to be fair, I am not like the "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!" lady from Office Space. I just generally try to be pleasant.)

    Of course I am (lie). Because part of my job is sales, and if you look grumpy, who wants to buy something from you? Is it too much to think I might just be a good actor?

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  21. funny. working with idiots? I love that you termed it Charades. LOL. Your comment to me was so hilarious. Thank you!!!

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    1. It's very much like charades. I almost resorted to "One word ... sounds like..."

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  22. Haha, oh the power of adjectives! Love your posts- thanks for the chuckle!!

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  23. I dealt with finance in an HR setting for a part of my career, so I can relate, but I would never have been able to be this funny about it.

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  24. LOL oh I have experienced so many work moments like this. Ah but I suppose we should always be thankful to even have a job in this day and age!!

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    Replies
    1. Very true. It's not a good climate to be unemployed in.

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  25. That's exactly how it is. Hang in there.

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    1. Worst comes to worst, I can always duck under the desk.

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  26. I remember those days! Good one.

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  27. So similar here it is a fright. Next time, just smile, agree and skip the charades altogether. Hand over a copy of EVERY report. I bet it only takes once or twice before your workmate asks for which specific report they want copied.

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    1. LOL! I should try that next time. I'll just tell them I'll email it to them, then attach fifty odd reports to the message.

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  28. I hate to say this because I love my wife but she has this trait too and it can get on my nerves. I get a lot of questions like "Do you know where that thing is?" or "Can you put that watchmacallit with the others?" The problem is she has the context in her mind and just assumes I have the same context set up in mine.

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  29. Ha ha ha! My boss often makes up words to refer to things he can't remember the name of. My favourites are the "spoggly bogs" and "crip craps", but the scary thing is that when he does this I know exactly which legal document he is referring to! ;-)

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    1. Heh! Maybe if she'd asked for the spoggly bogs I'd have know what she wanted :D

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  30. I HATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GIVE DETAILS!

    I am a details gal, if you don't tell me every little detail, then how the hell am I supposed to help you/pick the right one/give you what you need etc, etc, etc.

    People have no freakin idea!

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    1. It's incredibly frustrating. I mean, if she knows she wants it, surely she can give me a hint.

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  31. Ha-ha. This reminds me of my telephone company days...with 60 of us working side by side in tiny cubicles. In hindsight, a fun time actually.

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    1. Cubicle life is an interesting phenomena, isn't it.

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  32. Ouch! Maybe they could be color coded and then could be requested by hue!

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    1. Next time I'm asking them to tell me via the medium of interpretive dance.

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  33. I'm gonna hang this warning picture up in my cubicle. True story.

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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    1. You absolutely should! No one will go stealing your paperclips if they think they're protected by flesh eating nanobots!

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  34. Very funny! I'm also wondering if your work colleagues read your blog. That's the problem with public blogging... so many stories to tell, but will those we write about get upset by our words? I guess it depends whether that worries us or not.

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    1. LOL! A few of them do, but I'm not worried. Everyone will think it was someone else ;D

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  35. Wow, you hit home with your topics! I'm a new fan. :-)

    My wife, who I've had conversations with for the past 17 years, still doesn't get it that I don't get it when she says "whatsit" or "what's-her-name."

    "Sorry, who?" "Oh, Tracy."

    "I ask every time you say what's-her-name ... "

    "Yeah, so anyway ... "

    Maybe she could work for the phone company on the Help Desk. ;-)

    Bradley Charbonneau's Pass the Sour Cream A-Z Challenge.

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  36. Isn't living in the information age wonderful?

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