Thursday, April 4, 2013

D is for Dolly Magazine: or, arguing with yourself is kind of demoralising...

April A-Z Topic:  Dolly Magazine

A scene from inside my mind:
Kellie's Brain:  I really don't know what's gotten into you lately. 
Kellie:  I have no idea what you're talking about. 
Kellie's Brain:  All this rubbish you've been feeding me!  Honestly, did you expect me to accept Dolly magazine without a murmur? 
Kellie:  What's wrong with Dolly?  I happen to like Dolly! 
Kellie's Brain:  Give me a break, your birth year doesn't even show up in the conversion charts any more!  I think that's a definite sign that you're not the target audience. 
Kellie:  So what?  I refuse to be stereotyped by society.  Come on, you normally agree with me on these  things. 
Kellie's Brain:  Sure, things like when you decided to read Mary Poppins, or watch old episodes of Horrible Histories.  They're both valuable, worthwhile pursuits, even if they are meant for kids.  But Dolly ... I can't support that. 
Kellie:  Well, that article about how to wax your eyebrows was pretty educational. 
Kellie's Brain:  Educational!  I wouldn't call it that.  You used to feed me stuff I could really sink my grey matter into.  We used to read about art, and philosophy, and literature.  Heck, we read Herodotus and Livy!  We're better than this! 
Kellie:  We still discuss philosophy. 
Kellie's Brain:  Sitting in a coffee shop and deciding what whe'd do if we won the lotto is NOT discussing philosophy!  And what about the television you've been showing me lately?  We could have watched that fascinating archaeological show on the SBS, but no, you had to watch the soppy American comedy. 
Kellie: But it was a good episode! 
Kellie's Brain: I don't care! I wanted to learn about our ancestors, but you wanted to watch a bunch of thirty somethings pretending to be teenagers and singing in a high school choir.  I swear, one of these days I'm going to pack up my neural pathways and find someone else to enlighten. 
Kellie:  Shut up or I'll stab you with a q-tip. 
Kellie's Brain:  Yeah ... quoting Homer Simpson isn't really helping you win this argument.

My brain and I have always had a complicated relationship.

80 comments:

  1. I am lucky, I do not have such a high brow brain as you. We seldom argue.

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    1. My brain is a bit combative, it really is hard to get along with.

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  2. Very nicely done. My conversions with my brain tend to be a little more...scattered and incoherent.

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    1. I'm probably lucky to have a brain that can whip me into shape. Shame it never lasts long.

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  3. I must have been really bad--I haven't heard from my brain in months!!

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  4. When you start to argue with yourself then you know that things are going downhill for sure. Old age creeping up fast Kellie, ha ha ha.

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  5. Hilarious! And what the check is Dolly Magazine???

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    1. LOL! You've never read it? It's a magazine pretty much aimed at 14 year old girls. It's full of vapid advice and fashion shoots.

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  6. My brain doesn't bother commenting anymore - I am beyond hope!

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    1. You really need to worry when it goes down the road for a pack of smokes and doesn't come back.

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  7. Haha - if you are for real, it is a relief to know that I am not the only one who converses with myself like this. Or argues occasionally. Phew!

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    1. Oh yeah, I'm serious! I read Dolly ... and I'm very, very ashamed of it.

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  8. My brain yells at me too but only when I start reading or watching zombie related things. Brain seems to think that zombies are too scary and I'll end up with nightmares.

    Again.

    But I tell it, "Hush. I'm a grown up not some freaking little kid."

    It's when I'm hiding under the covers, demanding Scott go check on that noise I heard, do I grudgingly admit maybe Brain has a point.

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    1. Ooh, I'd be listening to your brain if I were you. No one wants to have a zombie panic attack at 4 in the morning.

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  9. GLEE!!!

    Hell, yes, I'd choose Glee over archeology any day of the week, and twice on Tuesdays!

    I ignore my brain. It's useless in my line of work as a mother and housewife, anyway.

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    1. I love Glee! I'm ridiculously obsessed with that show. If they don't get Klaine back together soon I just might do something drastic.

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  10. My poor brain has been so starved for input that it would probably be grateful for Dolly.

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    1. I don't know, i've gotten more intellectual stimulation from an episode of Teletubbies.

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  11. My brain has learned its lesson and keeps its thoughts to itself.


    mood
    Moody Writing

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    1. Mine is just a snippy little upstart. It'll learn one day, probably after one too many q-tips.

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  12. Too funny. I think my brain gets frustrated too.

    P.S. I'm not sure if you "do" these things, but I nominated you for an award. Check out yesterday's post! :-)

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  13. My brain took an early retirement. Technically, I am at least 5 years away from real retirement but my brain couldn't wait. At this point my brain takes a lot of naps and moves slowly.

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    1. Just make sure your brain doesn't move to the beach without you!

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  14. I've never heard of this magazine either, but I'm sure there are plenty of brainlessly comparable magazines that are similar. I mean, it can't be any worse than Cosmo's 1000th article in a row on "How to have good sex now!", right?

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    1. Oh, I don't know, I think it makes Cosmo look like it was written my Mensa candidates.

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  15. Hope you win some of the arguments. Oh, wait. I guess you always win when arguing with yourself. Nice to meet you.

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  16. HAHAHA My brain argues with me too over things that I am supposedly too old for now. I never let it win though. I don't want to loose the joy that I find in the little things like my mom hiding Easter eggs for my sister and I even though we are 23 and 28....

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    1. Aww, she does that? That's cute! My parents still buy me an egg, but they don't hide it.

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  17. My brain feels the same way about Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire. It keeps saying to me.. 'Mary, i'm not an imbecile.. stop feeding me garbage!'

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    1. I always feel such shame ... but it's a delicious shame.

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  18. Love this. I argue with my brain quite frequently. Sometimes I even win!!

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  19. I don't imagine the Homer Simpson line helped at all.

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    1. Probably not. My brain doesn't like it when I threaten to stab it.

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  20. You know, I had a conversation like this not too long ago. We finally decided that while my kids are young I can regress. I'll get back to reading literary fiction and being smart after they're gone but right now I don't have enough energy/drive/stamina/sanity/desire to do any of that anymore. And it's okay.

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    1. I probably should just embrace it. I'm sure I'm the only one who cares.

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  21. That Q-Tip thing is a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Is that coming from my Brain or just regular ole me? I really don't know.

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    1. It gets hard when your split personality is just a bunch of grey matter, doesn't it.

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  22. Ehh... Guess one isn't supposed to read those Harry Potter books either when being passed 30? Or John Greens books? I don't care, as long as I actually read something these days I'll feel satisfied :P.

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    1. Oh, Harry Potter are definitely high brow! Anyone of any age can read them.

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  23. Lol, too funny! We all have our guilty pleasures..even ones not in our age bracket..great blog...following you now, found you through A-Z Challenge! Blessings!

    Shannon @ I Survived & Now I Run

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  24. Aww, poor Kellie's Brain. I sympathize. I have been forced to watch Glee before and neither me nor my brain were too pleased by it. Besides, sometimes by brain has to deal with things like this.

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    1. It's true Glee is hardly a valid intellectual pursuit ... but I just can't help it! It's high schoolers! Singing and dancing!

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  25. Do you watch the HBO show Girls? There was an episode involving a horrible Q-tip incident. This was fun, and I'm glad to meet you through A to Z!

    Julie

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  26. I argue with my brain too. Who says you can't read Dolly? Or play in the rain? Splash in puddles like a first grader... I do these things. We should all do these things. My brain tells me to grow up. I tell it to back off and shut it.

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  27. Anytime my brain starts getting all judgy I just silence him with a little thing I call alcohol.

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    1. Do you think maybe that's why mine is playing up? He just wants a glass of sangria?

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  28. I'm obsessed with Horrible Histories, I have the boxed set and can sing all the songs included the Kings and Queens song....sadly I sat for hours learning it. I have given up pretending that I am mature and sensible....people seem to be accepting the fact I will climb and jump on things, wear silly hats and eat sweets for dinner!

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  29. LOL! My brain can be a real pain in the backside sometimes. Which I guess is kinda odd when you think about it. . .
    :D

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  30. Hahaha!! But these "younger" magazines are such brainless fun!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. True. I just start to feel weird about it when I see that my birth year isn't on their charts.

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  31. We're only at D and your posts just get funnier and funnier.
    Also, I bow down to anyone who also enjoys watching Horrible Histories. That show is far too good for children. :)

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    1. I've learned more from that show than I ever did from my Ancient History and Archaeology degree!

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  32. You can read Dolly cause I don't even know what it is. You can also argue with your brain. Brains are smart but guts seem to be smarter.
    See you on E-Day
    Manzanita
    wanna buy a duck

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    1. Good point! I should probably listen to my gut the next time I'm arguing with my brain.

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  33. Umm....your brain sounds pretty smart. I don't thing I'd argue with it. Or at least not let anyone see you doing it. (They have special rooms with a lock on the doors for those who do that sort of thing.) ;)

    S

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    1. Good point. Mental note: make all brain arguments silent!

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  34. I still read Dolly and Girlfriend and I'm heading for 40.

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  35. You know what might help win the brain over? A spoon full of sugar!

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  36. Super cute. I have these types of conversations with myself too!

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    1. I guess we all argue with ourselves from time to time.

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  37. I love silly magazines sometimes. I used to love this magazine called Jane, which was written for people younger than myself, but it was just so dang good! Our brains need breaks, right?

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    1. Probably not as many breaks as I give mine though. Still I'm sure I won't be stopping any time soon :D

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  38. I think most of us creative types have complicated relationships with our brains, LOL.

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  39. "Sitting in a coffee shop deciding what we'd do if we won the lotto is not discussing philosophy". Bwahahha! I've had this problem as well.

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