L is for Lying: because the truth is both overrated and boring...

April A-Z Topic:  Lying

I've decided that from now on whenever someone asks me how my weekend was, I'm going to lie.

Oh, come on, don't look at me like that! It's not like they're really interested in my weekend. If they're going to ask me questions they really don't care about the answers to, then I should at least be allowed to have a little bit of fun with them.

You could even look at it from the perspective of performing a social service. I really couldn't care less about how so-and-so went to the flea market on Saturday afternoon, but if they told me they'd spent that time hunting down international terrorists and picking them off one by one, sniper style, then I'd be all ears.

And probably a little bit terrified.

Think about it, every Monday morning when you got into work, there'd be a crowd of adoring fans huddled round you desk, waiting to hear about your weekend adventures. I could get used to the glory. Sitting in my swivel chair, enthralling them all with tales of my daring and bravery.

I could tell them how during my aerial ballet sky diving class the ropes broke on my parachute, so with only a feather, a piece of chewing gum, and a length of string, I fashioned a makeshift hang glider and glided to safety.

Sure it's a bit far fetched, but what would you prefer me to do?  Tell them the truth, that I'd sat on the couch watching reruns of The Simpsons and eating popcorn straight from the microwave paper bag because I was too lazy to get a bowl out of the cupboard?

I think you can see why lying is clearly the better option here.