April A-Z Topic: Quandary
Well, I had a bit of an embarrassing
situation at the doctor's the other day.
I won't go into the finer details of the appointment. Suffice to say I laid back and thought of England, he did his voo-doo witchcraft, and I was quickly sent on my way with a clean bill of health. Phew, what a relief!
Well, it was until I realised that something was not quite right.
It wasn't until I was driving home that
it occurred to me the control pants I'd put on that morning didn't seem
quite so tight. For those of you who don't know, control pants are those awful elastic things that you wear under your normal clothes to smooth you out so you don't show any
underpant lines. Normally they're fairly tight so you can't help but notice them, but right then I couldn't feel them at all.
And that's when I realised ... the reason they didn't feel so tight was because I wasn't wearing them any more!
And that's when I realised ... the reason they didn't feel so tight was because I wasn't wearing them any more!
When I'd gotten dressed, I must have knocked them off the
hook and onto the floor, and it didn't even occurred to
me I hadn't put them on again! Oh my god, how would I ever face him again?
I contemplated calling the surgery and
asking if anyone had found any spare articles of
clothing, but decided that wouldn't be such a good idea.
Perhaps the passive-aggressive approach would be better! I'd just
pretend it never happened. Denial is a wonderful thing.
Or perhaps the time has come to find a new doctor.
Or perhaps the time has come to find a new doctor.
Well, at least you arrived wearing panties..
ReplyDeleteYep, that's one of my rules. Always wear underwear to the doctor's. I'm just a bit more easy going on the whole going home wearing them.
DeleteI'm sorry, but this made me laugh! Poor you, though. I hope they weren't too expensive...
ReplyDeleteEven if they'd cost half a month's salary, I still wouldn't be asking for them back. It's way too embarrassing.
Deletehmmm, you just had this doctor examine your hoohoo (I assume it was a gyn appointment?) and you are embarrassed about leaving your underwear there? Ha ha ha!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they have people leave bits of clothing all the time---and he won't be the one tidying up the exam room so you probably don't have anything to worry about:)
You're probably right, but I still can't bring myself to call and ask.
DeleteAs long as doesn't take them home and put them in his underwear drawer, I think you'll be ok.. he will probably forget about the m by the time you have to go back.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Possibly. Although, if I was a doctor I'd probably put that sort of thing on people's records so I'd never forget.
DeleteFrom now on, after every appointment, you will need to leave a pair behind... It is your destiny...
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi
Ooh, it could become my thing!
DeleteI would find a new doctor. One that doesn't have a reason to laugh at you. :0
ReplyDeleteWell I have a while before I have to worry about it.
DeleteHe's probably wearing them right now, the sick bastard.
ReplyDeleteEww ... and is it wrong of me to hope that they're small on him?
DeleteThat is embarrassing! Who knows where your undergarment will end up?
ReplyDeleteThe worst mishap involving undergarments I had occurred when I was 18. After spending some time with the boyfriend I had at the time, I couldn't find my bra. I didn't know what to do, so I put my shirt back on. Then his dad walked in and said we'd be having dinner soon. He was about to leave when he spotted something. He picked up my bra, looked at me, and said "You might want to put this on before you come downstairs." I was mortified!
LOL! Ah, the mortification of getting caught by the parentals.
DeleteOh, this is truly embarrassing, Kellie! But we've all had our moments, so join the club! Mine was walking out of a restroom with a trail of T.P. hanging from my waist. You made me smile, as usual:)
ReplyDeleteI always feel so bad for people trailing TP when they come from the loos.
DeleteAn old joke: A woman gets home from seeing her doctor & calls him to ask if she had left her panties at his office. When he tells her no, she says, "I must have left them at the dentist's!"
ReplyDeleteLOL!
DeleteBest comment fishducky!
DeleteYeah, are you absolutely certain you showed up wearing knickers? Regardless, as long as you don't show up so often that you make an impression, surely he goes out with much more disturbing stories than, "some lady left her panties like it was a Tom Jones concert cirque 1976." And your oversight is completely forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI hope so. I just hope he hasn't included it in my file.
DeleteLOLOL! How will you ever face the man who saw your Spanx....AFTER he spent 15 minutes lubricating and scraping your cervix. HA! There is some serious cognitive dissonance there, hon.
ReplyDeleteI know, I think it's all about expectations.
DeleteSeriously Kellie, the man spent how many minutes looking at the inner workings of your Lady Garden and you're worried about your 'big mama knickers??' Hilarious. :)
ReplyDeleteHe expected to see my "lady garden", not my granny pants lying on the floor. I think that's the difference.
DeleteIt could have been worse... you could have gassed him.
ReplyDeleteTrue! I suppose I should look on the bright side.
DeleteWell think of it this way....you didn't lose so much weight that your skivvies slid down to the ground as you were crossing the parking lot.
ReplyDeleteIn front of family and friends.
True, that would definitely have been worse!
DeleteMaybe view it as a declaration of freedom from restrictive fashion while you're young and healthy. YOLO and all.
ReplyDeleteAh! Of course, I can pass it of as me thumbing my nose at the gender norms.
DeleteLove this - sorta thing I would do - deny I ever owned a pair
ReplyDeleteAs opposed to me, who writes about it on the internet for anyone to read ;D
DeleteI can't imagine you're the first one who's left anything behind. Shoot - I've walked out of places leaving my purse behind! I can see where it would be embarrassing, but I'm sure the nurses wouldn't bat an eye if you called or came back for it. On the list of crazy, wacky things people do, this isn't so bad. :-)
ReplyDeleteTrue, but I'd feel so embarrassed, even if I called I doubt I'd get the guts up to go and actually get them.
DeleteGood Lord, good on you for being so relaxed, once I went to a mole specialist on Wickham Tce and the doctor told me as small talk he loved poodles. Cute. Anyway, when I was returning for more treatment involving me just wearing bra and bottom half clothing I was horrified when I realised I was wearing this novelty patterned poodle print bra! Omg! I nearly drove back home, mortified! Don't go back to claim what's yours! Xx
ReplyDeleteOh no, that had to be embarrassing!
Deletehahahaha. Yes, I would go with ignorance and denial. Voo-doo magic. Nice to meet someone else who calls it that. :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't be a Hippie
Take 25 to Hollister
LOL! Well I don't know what they're doing, so it might as well be voodoo!
DeleteI've had a son forget to wear underwear TO a doctor appointment, but I can't say I've ever heard of someone walking OUT of an appointment without his/her undergarments. Absolutely hysterical.
ReplyDeleteAnd imagine the stories the staff and/or the patient seen after you are telling!
I'm not sure I want to know what they're saying, but I'm glad I could amuse them.
DeleteThat's funny sounds like something that would happen to me. (:
ReplyDeleteCame by from Tales of the Reborn Crafter
http://talesofthereborncrafter.blogspot.com/
I'm sure I'm not the first person to do it, I expect most doctors have all sorts of things left in their offices, but I still felt pretty embarrassed.
Deletehe probably is just selling them to japan, making some big bucks...i am pretty sure you can go back there with no problems. or they have a lost and found panties box?
ReplyDeleteOh god, I hope not! Surely he could find some nicer looking used panties than my old suckie in granny panties!
DeleteHahaha! Urghhh, yes denial is definitely a better approach! At least then he doesn't have to admit that he took them home and now sleep with them on his pillow x
ReplyDeleteOh god, I hope not!
DeleteThis sounds so very Bridget Jones of you..!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. Your embarrassment. (A feeling with which I am most unfortunately all too excruciatingly conversant.) I have no advice to offer. Really, nothing. Except, perhaps.. think of England again?
You know they are going to be keeping those pants in a bag for you, to hand over the next time you go in? :)
Lol - I hope you are not feeling too mortified Kelly! They probably couldn't have cared less :)
You're probably right, it probably happens all the time there. But it doesn't happen all the time to me :(
DeleteOh my god this made me spit coffee out on my keyboard I laughed so hard.
ReplyDeleteI misread Shelly's comment to say I hope they weren't too expansive! That's is what I would worry about!
DeleteMaybe I should put a warning on it about not drinking liquids while reading.
DeleteOh I would definitely find a new doctor. Oh so embarrassing. Yes, the love of Tiffany Box blue can make some gals just down right forget their foundation undies..... hahahaha.
ReplyDelete"I'm sorry, doctor, but I was so overcome by my love of Tiffany jewellery that I left my undergarments in your office"
DeleteYou did the right thing to resolve that quandary. Denial was created for these very situations. Besides, there's some nurse's assistant or hospital janitorial staff now walking around feeling really good about his/her smoothed out butt.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
Oh dear, I certainly hope not! Or that they at least washed them first!
Deleteoh no!!!!!! But I'm sure it's not the first time it's happened to your doctor. That would be my story.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it happens to them all the time.
DeleteOh, Kellie - I laughed with this post! I am a tad bolder and would have called and requested a mail out of my knickers (aka control panties) if I couldn't get back there quickly. Those suckers are expensive and after baring all I don't think panties would cause so much as an eyebrow to be raised at their discovery! Oh... I'm still giggling!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend,
Jenny @ PEARSON REPORT
I wish I was brave enough, but I know very well I won't be calling.
DeleteOMG!!! I would have freaked! Thinking about it though, I'm sure he's seen some pretty weird things and he probably wouldn't care all that much. It's hilarious though!
ReplyDeleteHe's probably seen much worse than a spare pair of granny pants, but I doubt I'll be asking for them back any time soon.
DeleteOh, no. My doctor would ridicule me for years. At least you're breathing a bit easier without those restrictive things squishing off your air flow. Having some jiggle is making a come back! It's what brings the boys to the yard or something.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, all those boys brought to the yard, only to be disappointed when they find out it wasn't my milkshakes that brought them ;P
Deleteomgoodness--hilarious :)
ReplyDelete:D
DeleteToo Funny! Don't you think they would have found them and saved them for you - or worse still, what if they post them too you. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteRhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
Visiting from AtoZ #41
They very well may, they do have my address, although I think it's much more likely that we'll all pretend it never happened.
Delete"What, ha ha that's crazy. I didn't leave any panties here last time I was in. No. Not. Me. Never. Ha ha haaa maybe you're the crazy one." *Shifty eyes* "LOOK OVER THERE!" *Leaps out door runs crazily off down the street*
ReplyDeleteYep, this is an accurate description of what will probably happen the next time I have an appointment.
DeleteBeautiful! I am afraid that the cost of crazy undergarments might have had me going back for them...note to self: keep emergency $20 in an envelope marked "new unders"
ReplyDeleteOr an emergency pair of undies ... although I suppose those would be harder to explain if someone found them.
DeleteI read this five minutes ago...and I'm still chuckling! :)
ReplyDeleteWell I do humiliate myself to give you guys a good chuckle.
DeleteYou're welcome :D
Well, that makes my embarrassing pyjama pants story seem rather insignificant! A bit of an expensive loss, I imagine.
ReplyDeleteDo you think the receptionist when she tidies the doctor's room will believe him when he says he doesn't know where they pants came from? I would just pretend it never happened.lol
ReplyDeleteIs Anyone There
Wouldn't it be brilliant if the next time you went to the doctors surgery there was a big colour photo of your underwear stating 'Lost property, please go to the reception to claim'and to make matters worse a CCTV still image of the back of your head as you left the surgery.... with an added message stating: 'have you seen this woman?'
ReplyDeleteYou sure did give me a belly laugh Kellie.
That's a pretty funny story. I'd put money on them having set your undies aside, and are waiting for your call... I would imagine this kind of thing isn't unusual at all. But I know, it hasn't happened to YOU before!
ReplyDeleteBwhahahaha, I just want to be a fly on the wall at the surgery AFTER you'd left. The doc and the admin staff would have been having a grand old time of it.....dontcha think?? :)
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! And I think you did the wise thing. What you don't acknowledge never really happened, right? Right?!
ReplyDeleteAs long as you weren't visiting the dentist, I think it's okay :)
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Awesome!!! Thank you for today's laugh!
ReplyDeleteConnie
A to Z-ing to the end
Peanut Butter and Whine
You wore control undies to the doctor for an internal?
ReplyDeleteWhy?
I'd just wear really good, new normal undies, not control, put them in your bag to put on later if you needed them, but the less to take off the better for everyone, cause see what happened....you left them behind, oh dear!
Hilarious! Those spanx are soo expensive, I might have bribed a friend or unwitting family member to go fetch them. Denial seems good too.
ReplyDelete