April A-Z Topic: Xerophyte
No, they came to see Pedro, my xerophyte (or cactus, to the less pretentious).
I bought Pedro seven years ago from Ikea, thinking that I'd finally found the one plant I wouldn't be able to kill with my notorious bad gardening skills. Honestly, I make plants cower in fear with the power of my black thumb.
He was an unassuming little thing back then, barely six inches tall. Now days he's grown so much that he actually peers over the top of my cubicle and pricks unsuspecting loiterers. What can I say, he's territorial.
But over the years he's somehow become more well known around the office than I am. People come up to my desk to peer at him, stroke his prickles, ask with concern if I've watered him lately, and to coo at him like he's a freaking baby. I've even had people make little paper sombrero's for him to wear.
This whole popularity competition is disturbing me a bit. How did my cactus get so popular? Is he bribing them with cookies? Maybe he's blackmailing them, yeah that must be it! God only knows what this lot get up to behind closed doors, and he's in a perfect position to tape it all and then use it against them.
He's a sneaky one, that Pedro.
He was an unassuming little thing back then, barely six inches tall. Now days he's grown so much that he actually peers over the top of my cubicle and pricks unsuspecting loiterers. What can I say, he's territorial.
But over the years he's somehow become more well known around the office than I am. People come up to my desk to peer at him, stroke his prickles, ask with concern if I've watered him lately, and to coo at him like he's a freaking baby. I've even had people make little paper sombrero's for him to wear.
This whole popularity competition is disturbing me a bit. How did my cactus get so popular? Is he bribing them with cookies? Maybe he's blackmailing them, yeah that must be it! God only knows what this lot get up to behind closed doors, and he's in a perfect position to tape it all and then use it against them.
He's a sneaky one, that Pedro.
Wow, you have done an xcellent job on this challenge and should be proud of yourself and your Xerophyte. My guess is they're using Pedro as an excuse to see your pretty smile.
ReplyDeleteMis Anthropy is so right in her reply here. They just want to be close to you. You are special to them and they want to see your sweet smile and hear your lovely voice, so they pretend they want to look at Pedro :)
DeleteSorry Pedro..... too prickly :(
Aww, shucks :)
Delete"Excuse to see your pretty smile" sounds about right. But I cannot feature people petting prickles. I mean, really.
ReplyDeleteXtremely nice addition to the A-Z Challenge.
Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting
And yet they do! It always amuses me when they prick themselves and look at me like I've betrayed them in some way. You were stroking a cactus! What did you think was going to happen!
DeletePricking loiterers! A guard cactus, what fun and more effective than my dog by the sounds of it!
ReplyDeleteI'm almost tempted to record a message that says "Move along, Senor!" and put it on a sensor.
DeleteOh, I want to see a picture of the cactus with the paper sombrero! He's gonna be really popular on Cinco de Mayo. I've had two plants from IKEA and I've killed them both. Next time I'm getting a cactus!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely should, they're practically impossible to kill.
DeleteNow you know how poor Prince Charles felt in the glamorous shadow of Princess Di.
ReplyDeleteYes, Charles and I are both so hard done by.
DeleteX must be the hardest letter. I'd never have thought of Xerophyte and I used to be a botanist! I love cacti and succulents. I kill everything else too. I wonder if Pedro has ever flowered... or perhaps he won't. He seems to be male.
ReplyDeleteHe has flowered, but I don't like to stifle his gender expression ;P
DeleteI don't blame you for feeling a little prickly.
ReplyDeleteAh, I see what you did there ;D
DeleteNow there's a word I'd never heard of till today. Thanks! This made me laugh. You're so funny.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Truth be told, I hadn't heard of it either. Thesaurus.com has gotten quite the workout this month!
DeleteI doubt it's cookies, maybe it prickly pear jam?
ReplyDeleteRhonda @Laugh Quotes
LOL! I wouldn't put it past him.
DeleteThere can be only one answer to his popularity... Mind control. I read somewhere that cactuses are really good at it.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie
Of course, why didn't I think of that!
DeleteI'm sorry, but this was brilliant! Pedro, the cactus. He's just "got it, I guess..." ;)
ReplyDeleteHe has a certain flair, that's for sure.
DeleteI am forced to echo Mis Anthropy's kudos. You've knocked this challenge out of the ballpark.
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks! I have to admit, thesaurus.com has gotten quite the workout from me this month.
DeleteYou probably work with lots of women and women notoriously have a thing for bad boys, and let's face it, Pedro is just a big prick!
ReplyDeleteYou may be right. They're just attracted to his dark side ... which I'm assuming is the side closer to the window.
DeletePedro may have a lot going on at night, when the lights are low...
ReplyDeleteHe's probably got the whole place wired.
DeleteMy patio plant life is looking pretty bleak!!! Maybe I need a Cactus...
ReplyDeleteThey're great, it's practically impossible to kill them!
DeleteHahaha. This is too funny. I like that you've named him Pedro.
ReplyDeleteHe looked like a Pedro to me :D
DeleteI love cactus plants - I'd come to visit it too . . . and you too, of course!
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just looking at this in the wrong way, perhaps he's the best wingman in the world.
DeleteWhilst browsing through the blogs on the A-Z list, I came across a blog written by a hedgehog...a hedgehog I tells ye! Maybe Pedro could have his very on blog,thus quadrupling his popularity...stranger things have happened... :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder what he'd write about! Probably horrible slanders about me.
DeleteNo one comes to visit the plants in my office but maybe thats because they never know if they will be alive or not. If youre a plant you have to be able to thrive on neglect and cynisism to live in my office space. Maybe my plants are just jealous of my visitors.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's the problem with Pedro, he enjoys the neglect and cynicism far too much.
DeleteThis is so funny. I love that you named your cactus. We had an asparagus fern that wintered over in the house last year and I named it Freddy Fernhead. Alas, Freddy didn't make it through the hot and drought filled summer, but he was a popular plant, too!
ReplyDeletetm
RIP Freddy :(
DeleteIs your cactus' name a Girls With Slingshots homage? If not, quite the happy coincidence! I highly recommend the webcomic as anybody's next big timesink.
ReplyDeleteNot it isn't, just a coincidence ;D
DeleteHe may be sneaky and stealing your limelight, but you can have fun with him, too. Imagine how cute he'd be dressed up for Halloween, with bunny ears for Easter, or with a Santa hat and sparkly garlands during the Christmas season? Go Pedro! :-)
ReplyDeleteAww, I should do that!
DeleteSomething that starts at 6 inches, grows, and pricks unsuspecting loiterers? I'm sensing a metaphor. How strange that people would be attracted to a phallic monument, I would never have suspected that with, oh, every other man-made attraction in the world.
ReplyDeleteWhy, whatever could you mean ;P
DeleteXerophyte. hmm. New one for me and quite a mouthful for a cactus. My sister loves them (names them too) and hers are quite eye catching. I'm always amazed at how tall and lush they look for a cactus.
ReplyDeleteYour article made me giggle and thank you for that! :-)
They're surprisingly easy to take care of. Water once a month or so and they're good!
Delete"Cactus, to the less pretentious." You crack me up!
ReplyDelete:D
DeleteI am more impressed with you vocabulary than your plant! I'd rather be smart than win a popularity contest any day! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! It's amazing what you can find on thesaurus.com ;D
DeleteYep, plants are sneaky little bastards. Silently peering around, or at you, silently breathing, silently studying, util one day, they silently take over the world......
ReplyDeleteTriffids anyone?
I knew I was right to be suspicious!
DeleteI'm impressed as all heck that you've been able to keep a plant alive for 7 years. GO YOU! My current record for not killing a plant is currently 22 months. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself about it, too. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Believe me, it had very little to do with me. I go weeks and weeks without watering him and he still manages to survive.
DeleteThat's my word of the day, xerophyte. Never heard it before
ReplyDeleteI hadn't either, but thesaurus.com is a wonderful thing ;D
Delete;D
ReplyDeleteI think he's blackmailing them, for sure. It's just exactly the sort of thing a cactus would do.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't put it past him, that's for sure.
Delete