Saturday, April 27, 2013

X is for Xerophyte: or, the popularity contest between me and a cactus that I have no hope in hell of winning...


April A-Z Topic:  Xerophyte

Okay, this is becoming a little disconcerting. I've had at least fifteen visitors to my desk today, and not one of them came to talk about work. Nor did they come to pass the time with wee little Kellie here.

 No, they came to see Pedro, my xerophyte (or cactus, to the less pretentious).

I bought Pedro seven years ago from Ikea, thinking that I'd finally found the one plant I wouldn't be able to kill with my notorious bad gardening skills.  Honestly, I make plants cower in fear with the power of my black thumb.

He was an unassuming little thing back then, barely six inches tall.  Now days he's grown so much that he actually peers over the top of my cubicle and pricks unsuspecting loiterers.  What can I say, he's territorial.

But over the years he's somehow become more well known around the office than I am.  People come up to my desk to peer at him, stroke his prickles, ask with concern if I've watered him lately, and to coo at him like he's a freaking baby.  I've even had people make little paper sombrero's for him to wear.

This whole popularity competition is disturbing me a bit. How did my cactus get so popular? Is he bribing them with cookies? Maybe he's blackmailing them, yeah that must be it! God only knows what this lot get up to behind closed doors, and he's in a perfect position to tape it all and then use it against them.

He's a sneaky one, that Pedro.

63 comments:

  1. Wow, you have done an xcellent job on this challenge and should be proud of yourself and your Xerophyte. My guess is they're using Pedro as an excuse to see your pretty smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mis Anthropy is so right in her reply here. They just want to be close to you. You are special to them and they want to see your sweet smile and hear your lovely voice, so they pretend they want to look at Pedro :)
      Sorry Pedro..... too prickly :(

      Delete
  2. "Excuse to see your pretty smile" sounds about right. But I cannot feature people petting prickles. I mean, really.

    Xtremely nice addition to the A-Z Challenge.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And yet they do! It always amuses me when they prick themselves and look at me like I've betrayed them in some way. You were stroking a cactus! What did you think was going to happen!

      Delete
  3. Pricking loiterers! A guard cactus, what fun and more effective than my dog by the sounds of it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm almost tempted to record a message that says "Move along, Senor!" and put it on a sensor.

      Delete
  4. Oh, I want to see a picture of the cactus with the paper sombrero! He's gonna be really popular on Cinco de Mayo. I've had two plants from IKEA and I've killed them both. Next time I'm getting a cactus!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You definitely should, they're practically impossible to kill.

      Delete
  5. Now you know how poor Prince Charles felt in the glamorous shadow of Princess Di.

    ReplyDelete
  6. X must be the hardest letter. I'd never have thought of Xerophyte and I used to be a botanist! I love cacti and succulents. I kill everything else too. I wonder if Pedro has ever flowered... or perhaps he won't. He seems to be male.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has flowered, but I don't like to stifle his gender expression ;P

      Delete
  7. I don't blame you for feeling a little prickly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Now there's a word I'd never heard of till today. Thanks! This made me laugh. You're so funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Truth be told, I hadn't heard of it either. Thesaurus.com has gotten quite the workout this month!

      Delete
  9. I doubt it's cookies, maybe it prickly pear jam?

    Rhonda @Laugh Quotes

    ReplyDelete
  10. There can be only one answer to his popularity... Mind control. I read somewhere that cactuses are really good at it.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm sorry, but this was brilliant! Pedro, the cactus. He's just "got it, I guess..." ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am forced to echo Mis Anthropy's kudos. You've knocked this challenge out of the ballpark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks! I have to admit, thesaurus.com has gotten quite the workout from me this month.

      Delete
  13. You probably work with lots of women and women notoriously have a thing for bad boys, and let's face it, Pedro is just a big prick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be right. They're just attracted to his dark side ... which I'm assuming is the side closer to the window.

      Delete
  14. Pedro may have a lot going on at night, when the lights are low...

    ReplyDelete
  15. My patio plant life is looking pretty bleak!!! Maybe I need a Cactus...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're great, it's practically impossible to kill them!

      Delete
  16. Hahaha. This is too funny. I like that you've named him Pedro.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love cactus plants - I'd come to visit it too . . . and you too, of course!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe I'm just looking at this in the wrong way, perhaps he's the best wingman in the world.

      Delete
  18. Whilst browsing through the blogs on the A-Z list, I came across a blog written by a hedgehog...a hedgehog I tells ye! Maybe Pedro could have his very on blog,thus quadrupling his popularity...stranger things have happened... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder what he'd write about! Probably horrible slanders about me.

      Delete
  19. No one comes to visit the plants in my office but maybe thats because they never know if they will be alive or not. If youre a plant you have to be able to thrive on neglect and cynisism to live in my office space. Maybe my plants are just jealous of my visitors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe that's the problem with Pedro, he enjoys the neglect and cynicism far too much.

      Delete
  20. This is so funny. I love that you named your cactus. We had an asparagus fern that wintered over in the house last year and I named it Freddy Fernhead. Alas, Freddy didn't make it through the hot and drought filled summer, but he was a popular plant, too!
    tm

    ReplyDelete
  21. Is your cactus' name a Girls With Slingshots homage? If not, quite the happy coincidence! I highly recommend the webcomic as anybody's next big timesink.

    ReplyDelete
  22. He may be sneaky and stealing your limelight, but you can have fun with him, too. Imagine how cute he'd be dressed up for Halloween, with bunny ears for Easter, or with a Santa hat and sparkly garlands during the Christmas season? Go Pedro! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Something that starts at 6 inches, grows, and pricks unsuspecting loiterers? I'm sensing a metaphor. How strange that people would be attracted to a phallic monument, I would never have suspected that with, oh, every other man-made attraction in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Xerophyte. hmm. New one for me and quite a mouthful for a cactus. My sister loves them (names them too) and hers are quite eye catching. I'm always amazed at how tall and lush they look for a cactus.

    Your article made me giggle and thank you for that! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're surprisingly easy to take care of. Water once a month or so and they're good!

      Delete
  25. "Cactus, to the less pretentious." You crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am more impressed with you vocabulary than your plant! I'd rather be smart than win a popularity contest any day! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! It's amazing what you can find on thesaurus.com ;D

      Delete
  27. Yep, plants are sneaky little bastards. Silently peering around, or at you, silently breathing, silently studying, util one day, they silently take over the world......

    Triffids anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'm impressed as all heck that you've been able to keep a plant alive for 7 years. GO YOU! My current record for not killing a plant is currently 22 months. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself about it, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Believe me, it had very little to do with me. I go weeks and weeks without watering him and he still manages to survive.

      Delete
  29. That's my word of the day, xerophyte. Never heard it before

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hadn't either, but thesaurus.com is a wonderful thing ;D

      Delete
  30. I think he's blackmailing them, for sure. It's just exactly the sort of thing a cactus would do.

    ReplyDelete