Monday, March 3, 2014

Who knew Planned Parenthood were so kinky...

I'm always glad when I hear about government funds being used for sex education, it's such an important thing for young people to learn about, but I have to admit that I was a teeny be surprised when I found out that the government is now funding educational videos to teach teenagers all about the joys of safe, sane and consensual BDSM [link].

Oh Planned Parenthood, you kinky buggers.

Okay, maybe that's a bit misleading.  It's not like the government specifically gave Planned Parenthood a bunch of money with the instructions "Why don't you go and make some videos about whips and chains and spanking and all that stuff that the young people are into these days".  It's just that Planned Parenthood is funded by the government, and they just happened to make a video that they posted online.  So some people are getting a tad worked up about it.

You know, in the "gather the torches and pitchforks and let's burn the heretics" kind of way.

Given that this is a rather delicate topic, and we're talking about impressionable youth here, there has naturally been a lot of concern about it.  How dare Planned Parenthood teach kids about how to have enjoyable, consensual, well informed, kinky sex!  Surely we should be pushing the good old "If you have sex before you're married then you'll get pregnant and die, even the boys!" method of sex education.  After all, it's worked so well for us in the past.

That was sarcasm, in case I wasn't completely clear.

Personally, I think that they're being a bit naive.  Do they honestly think that the average 16 year old doesn't already know more about this stuff than they ever will?  Anyone who's spent more than five minutes on Tumblr ... the natural habitat of the teenager ... will be aware of just how much kids know about naughty rumpty pumpty kinky stuff.

Seriously, it's full of things like that.  Pictures, stories, essays, all from teenagers who are both fascinated by and well educated about the details of BDSM.  I'm sure that most them could put a Dominatrix with 20 years experience to shame if they put their minds to it.

And they don't just know about the mechanics of it, they're also terrifyingly well versed in the psychological aspects.  Planned Parenthood might say "It's all about building trust", but your average 16 year old could probably write a 200 page thesis on the topic, along with examples, comparisons, diagrams, and a rather captivating fanfiction story using Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as the main characters.

So if you're worried that Planned Parenthood is somehow going to corrupt the youth of today with their incredibly benign video, you really shouldn't.  That ship sailed a long time ago.