Friday, April 26, 2013

W is for Women's Liberation: or no sex please, we're women...

April A-Z Topic:  Women's Liberation

I am, I like to think, a feminist.  Or at least I believe in equality of all kinds, and that includes sex and gender equality. Whatever your sex, race, age, religion, or taste in daytime television, I like to think everyone has an equal right to be forced to stand in line at the Motor Vehichle Register and to having to sit next to the weirdo on the bus on the way to work.

I'm eternally grateful to all the women in the past who fought for the rights I enjoy today.  Because they were willing to chain themselves to things and burn their bras, I get to enjoy the right to vote, own property, not get fired if I get pregnant, etc.  All of this is a good thing in my books, because even though I don't like voting, I do like knowing I have the option.

But sometimes I hear some extreme feminist opinions, and I have to admit I get a wee bit scared. 

For example, a friend of mine was telling me the other day about a feminist writer she read once who thought that all heterosexual sex was rape and we've all just been conditioned into liking it. Fancy that ladies, I thought I was having a roll in the hay but in reality I was being violated. Well, if liking sex with the menfolk is wrong, then I just don't want to be right.

This writer then went on to explain that the only way we could become sexually free was to separate ourselves from men and explore our sexuality away from their control. She doesn't specify whether she means with another lady friend or a friend of the battery operated variety, so I say whatever floats your boat.

My friend tells me that this woman's writing is well researched, impeccably written and surprisingly coherent for the topic. Still, seeing as she moved overseas to live with her husband, quite definitely a MAN, I'm thinking this feminist didn't have that much of an impact on her after all.

64 comments:

  1. I had to laugh at your last sentence. So true.

    I, too, identify as a feminist, meaning I think men and women should get equal rights and equal pay. I don't think it necessarily means rejecting being a stay at home mom or hating men. It means having choices and doing what is best for you and your family. At least that's my definition.

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    1. I totally agree. People should be judged for who they are, not what's between their legs. And no one has the right to pass judgement on how they choose to live their lives.

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  2. Every movement has its extremists and Andrea Dworkin was in that category. But at least she wasn't the kind of extremist who sets off bombs. Maybe an F-bomb now and again but that was it!

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    1. Literary incendiaries ONLY! :D

      Besides, it's much more dangerous to read something that makes the explosion occur within the privacy of your own mind. Dun dun dunnn!

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    2. Well it's definitely easier to deal with written extremism than the physical type. You can ignore a book, I suppose.

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  3. There are certainly some extreme feminist opinions out there, just like every race, religion, etc. have their extreme elements.

    I've noticed, at least here in the United States, that feminism is widely despised because people seem to think that all feminists hate men. I think of myself as a feminist in that I think women should have the right to choose their path in life like any man would. I am also married to a man and enjoy his company, whether it be in the form of a roll in the hay or a nice chat.

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    1. Sometimes I think it would be easier to give up all the different expressions and just go with equality. I believe in equality.

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    2. Kellie - You are brilliant! AMEN!

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  4. I thank the previous women who led the way to our liberation... Although, sometimes... Mostly on Mondays, I damn them to the pits of hell for making me have to get a job.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. LOL! I do confess, there are times when I think to myself "Things would be so much easier if I was just expected to take care of a house". But hey, equality comes at a price, I suppose.

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  5. I wish I could burn my bra right now. I'm tired of wearing it today. ;)

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  6. So...if you're a feminist, would you potentially be interested in writing a blog post for my other blog? It's called AbortionChat (eek!) and the idea is that we all believe something, but in the end, we should support women. (abortionchat.blogspot.com is the link if you'd like to check it out).

    I don't think that ALL sex is rape, I think rape is rape. However, I can appreciate the whole, "the only way we could become sexually free was to separate ourselves from men and explore our sexuality away from their control"~Though, um...eek. I hate that women can't be thought of as sexual creatures. Instead, we're dubbed whores. Let's change this.

    Also, thanks for the lovely comments on my blog! We're so close to being done with the A to Z!

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    1. Ah yes, the eternal sexual double standard! Don't even get me started...

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  7. Can you really classify that as "feminism"? Just because a person has an idea of how women should progress, doesn't make them a feminist. That may be anti-feminist. She's not for equality but more "separate but equal". She also can't imagine women being empowered enough to initiate sex. That's sad. I hope she has a real good ant-dildo (I assume she doesn't use anything phallic shaped and instead uses something like a vacuum to avoid any sense or sensation of rape.)

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    1. LOL! A very big part of me hopes it's just an enormous practical joke on her part.

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  8. And this is exactly why the woman's right's revolution has stalled. Because most men will look at that and roll their eyes and the sane women won't want to be called "feminists" because they don't want to be associated with this radicalism.

    The above is true, I actually looked into it a bit and more and more women say things like "I'm not a feminist but..." etc. etc..

    Call me a Woman's rights activist please. The negative connotation isn't there.

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    1. I'm leaning to the term "equality". I believe in equality, in all its forms.

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  9. I like women's rights too but I agree that the feminist is too much. Seriously. I think I draw the line at "ban the bra."

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    1. I don't know, there are days when I'd love to burn my bra! Awful uncomfortable things, you'd think by now we'd have invented something comfier!

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  10. Ha Ha Ha Ha. Very well written once again :)

    My kids don't believe the discrimination I experienced as a young female at work. And we accepted it as normal!

    Before my time but can you imagine obtaining your employers permission to get married? Hard to believe now.

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  11. Eh... I tend to avoid this topic. I think sometimes it is taken to the extreme. Once in my dating endeavors, I happened across someone who I believe was more a radical extremist/whatever. The world was being brainwashed, I was being conditioned by media (where I do believe to some extent that is true) along with believing that heterosexual sex = rape.

    I am completely uneducated/ignorant of most of that, but that statement confuses me. I am all for sex-positivity, but that definitely isn't what that lady (or the girl I spoke to) preaching would be qualified as.

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    1. I think I'm going to go with the term "equality" from now on. It covers everything without any of the crazy.

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  12. Eh I've never identified as a feminist. More of a humanist with respect for everyone's rights (except animal killers/torturers and pedophiles mostly) to exist and pursue happiness. In a grad school course I was sure I was about to be burned in effigy because I wasn't in agreement that the biggest threat to the rights of women was the ability or lack there of to play Augusta National golf course where all the big money deals were going down. Pardon me for thinking affordable daycare was more important than country club membership. I know there are lots of variations of feminism but I haven't found one that doesn't make me think yeah not so much.

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    1. I guess all "isms" can start looking a bit crazy when you take them too far.

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  13. Militant anything tends to put me off. I definitely won't be passing on opportunities for a roll in the hay to prove myself separate from men.

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  14. ...I... I just... what the what?

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  15. As with everything in life, it all has to do with moderation, right? I, too, believe in equal rights for all races, religion, sexes, etc. Does that make me a feminist? I don't know. But I sure like sex, with my husband, and I'm not about to give THAT up, just to prove that I'm a feminist! And if I took my bra off, it would be a dangerous situation; I might trip over my boobs. ;)

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    1. Well, I think I could get behind the bra burning. Those things are uncomfortable!

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  16. I also believe in equal rights but not the extreme issues. They are out there and sometimes they muddle the real issues from coming to light.

    Came by from Tales of the Reborn Crafter
    http://talesofthereborncrafter.blogspot.com/

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  17. I don't know where I stand on this issue, but I have always enjoyed being treated like a lady and given special treatment/respect because of that. I enjoy rights and freedoms, but to me the term "feminist" brings about a negative image of bra-burners and ball-busters-- women who hate men and prefer to dominate. Nice to see a different perspective.
    tm

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    1. I like being treated like a lady too, but that's mostly a point of etiquette. That way we aren't all clamouring over each other when we're at the door.

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  18. I'm all about equal rights for everybody and everything, including equal rights to a roll in the hay with my husband, and equal rights to battery operated devices if I so choose.

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  19. I am more for human rights than just women's rights. Being a strong woman for me means sticking up for my rights.

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    1. I agree completely. I'm for equality, whatever that may entail.

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  20. I've never understood that extreme view either. And I've even heard that battery operated devices are still a patriarchal conditioning thing. Anything (ANYTHING!) that penetrates is considered akin to rape. How exactly does that work?

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    1. Jeez! No battery operated items? Well now it just sounds like a conspiracy to stop us having fun!

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  21. I'm definitely a feminist, but there are so many contradictory schools of thought on feminism that it has become (almost) meaningless. Anything that brings about equality is good in my book though. :-)

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  22. I'm sorry but if women are ever going to be considered equal in our society you're going to have to learn to not enjoy sex.

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  23. Wow! That is so extreme. Sorry, I enjoy sex as much as my husband.

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  24. I do remember hearing the argument that heterosexual sex is rape and it makes me want to spit with rage. Rape is rape and consensual sex is just that. I too would consider myself a feminist but I hate the way some of the more extreme women, bandy that word about in an almost trivial way. :)

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    1. It definitely shows a lack of understanding of the definition of rape, that's for sure.

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  25. As a male Bear, I know there are some conversations from which I should stay away. This is one of them.

    Blessings and Bear hugs, anyhow!
    Bears Noting

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  26. Um, but, that makes no sense. I mean, that feminist wouldn't be alive if it weren't for heterosexual sex. How is that conditioning??? It's biology. It's so annoying when people with their own personel issues somehow make them into what they feel everyone else should believe.

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    1. I'm just hoping it's some sort of elaborate, long playing practical joke.

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  27. I'm all for equal rights, but I like being a woman too. Nothing wrong with being cherished and cared for and loved by my husband. I'm quite prepared to do all that for him too. Yes, equality!

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    1. Exactly! I quite like having doors opened for me and chairs pulled out. I have to admit though, that's mainly because I like not having that awkward bumping into each other as you both scrabble for the door.

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  28. All I can think of is that writer lady just wasn't getting good sex.

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    1. It's a possibility. Or maybe she was getting phenomenal sex of the battery operated variety?

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  29. That is so strange...I must say that it's annoying when friends of mine say I'm not feminist just because my dream is to be a stay-at-home and not in some business career. It's about the right to choose, not about specific choices!

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    1. Very true. No one should judge anyone elses decisions about what they want to do with their lives. It's horribly presumptuous.

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  30. Wasn't Germaine Greer was it? She's psycho!

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  31. Hi Kellie - great thoughts and the lady you quote might have opinions ... but as you say leaving the country with her husband is a little suspect! I'd just like equality in all things - and I reckon I'm liberated ... and I enjoy being unique and being true to me ...

    Cheers Hilary

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