Job hunting for dummies...

What with the current economic climate and the precarious position we're all in, I've decided it's time for me to seriously consider what I'd do if I were to lose my job.  It's happening, all over the place, so I need to have a plan ready in case the dreaded event ever occurs.

After serious consideration, here are the possibilities.

Professional Sex Worker
Yeah, I know, it's just another term for prostitute.  A rose by any other name and all that jazz.  But lets be honest, it's always an option.  Buy a nice lace teddy, change the sheets, put up a red light outside the house, and off you go!  As far as careers go, it's a pretty cushy one, you get to set your own hours, the pay is pretty good for the amount of work involved, you're your own boss, and hey ... all the sex you want!

But what with it being legal and all now days, there's all sorts of red tape to navigate.  Paperwork to fill out, licences to get, law enforcement officers to pay off.  It kind of sucks all the fun out of it.

MMO Goldfarmer
Now here's one I'm totally qualified for!  I spent years playing World of Warcraft, and if anyone knows how to earn gold in that game, it's me.  I know all the secrets, some of them even legit, of how to turn those thousands into hundreds of thousands.

But then again I'd be competing against a pretty big market.  There are oodles of gold farmers in China, slaving away for 10 cents and hour.  I'm not sure if I'm willing to take that much of a pay cut ... even if it does mean I get to sit on my ass and play computer games all day as a profession.

Sideshow Spruiker
It's a stable career, Sideshows never go out of business (to my knowledge).  There's a long and noble history of people making money by showcasing the genetic misfortunes of others.  I'm sure I could become quite proficient in standing on a box and yelling loudly to the passing crowds "Come see the freaks!  Sixpence to see the freaks!"  

I'll have to work a bit on my cockney accent, but really that's just a formality.  I'll also have to make sure I suppress the urge to flinch whenever I get too close to Dolores the Bearded Lady or Bernardo The Man With Two Noses ... but that's really just a matter of professionalism.

Travel Agency Holiday Tester
So the Travel Agency has come up with a new package deal.  They've sourced the flights and hotels, planned the schedules, arranged the perks and extras ... they just need someone to test it out and make sure everything goes according to plan.

That's where I'd come in.  Despite great personal inconvenience, I'd allow them to whisk me away on first class flights to exotic destinations were I would stay in five star hotels, eating at the finest restaurants and sampling the best entertainment and diversions on offer.  It's a tough job, gruelling even, but someone's got to do it.


Hmm, I wonder which one I should go for.