Names have been changed to protect the crotchety.
Woman 1: Can you believe these girls today, Margaret!
Woman 2: Hmm? What do you mean?
Woman 1: These girls! *gestures to magazine* Can you believe what they're allowed to get up to these days! Back when we were young we wouldn't have dreamed of acting like that!
Woman 2: What are you going on about. *looks over other woman's shoulder at the magazine* Oh, so she left her husband and is dating all these guys now?
Woman 1: Yes, that's what I was saying! It's unbelievable what girls get away with these days!
Woman 2: Seriously, Joan? You're seriously going to say that?
Woman 1: Yes! They have no sense of decency anymore, and you know who I blame? The parents! I wouldn't have raised my girls to act like this!
Woman 2: Well I hardly think ...
Woman 1: And the media! Is it any wonder that they think it's okay to sleep around like that when that's all they see on TV?
Woman 2: Now that's pretty rich, coming from you Joan.
Woman 1: What do you mean?
Woman 2: Who was it exactly who was going out with four different guys when we were in high school?
Woman 1: That's not really the point...
Woman 2: And who spent three weeks back in '72 living in that artist's commune up the coast?
Woman 1: That was a legitimate artistic retreat!
Woman 2: You don't paint.
Woman 1: Well ... I was ...
Woman 2: Oh, we all knew what you were there for.
Woman 1: *Refolding magazine and shoving it back on the rack* Oh, just shut up. I don't know why I'm still friends with you.
Woman 2: Just calling them like I see them!
*The two women wander off towards the frozen pastry section*
And this, my friends, is why you should change your friends like you change your underwear. Old friends just know too much about you.
Actually, I lie. Keep the old friends. They may know where all the bodies are hidden, but they also know you'll take them down with you if you're caught, so generally they'll have your back.