No, it wasn't one of our clients, no little old ladies dropping off from a "Fifty Shades of Grey" induced heart attack. It wasn't an employee either, although I'm sure several of them have gambled with their lives among the electric compactus. Have you ever used one of those things? They're terrifying if you don't have your wits about you!
The death was of a possum that's been living in the parking lot under the building since we moved in about six years ago.
|Yeah they're cute ...|
until they're making a
racket on your roof!
And they say life in the library isn't glamorous.
I know it must sound like I'm incredibly cold hearted to be talking about it so glibly, but you have to understand that seeing a dead possum is hardly a novelty to anyone who lives in Australia. Hell, I saw three of them while driving to work this morning.
Of all the Australian animals, they're the ones that adapted. They ate our rubbish, built nests in our homes, and multiplied like rabbits. They're, quite literally, everywhere, and it'd be a rare sight to drive even fifteen minutes without seeing one taking a little "nap" on the side of the road.
When I heard about it I have to confess my first thought was "Hmm, I wonder if this has any connection to the fact that the possum was pissing on all the company cars every night. Accident? I think not!" Then I sat there for a few minutes and wondered exactly whose personal assistant was currently sitting in their office, cleaning possum blood off their letter opener.
But then I remembered, I work in a library. We're not exactly a "hands on" bunch of people. I don't think any of them could kill a possum. I'm not saying they wouldn't want to, just that they couldn't.
Then I started to wonder if maybe it wasn't some sort of possumesque Highlander thing. Maybe it was an immortal possum (it had been alive for a really long time), and another immortal possum came along and chopped it's head off! Maybe they're all actually immortal and after I pass their squashed little bodies on the side of the road they rise up again! It'd certainly explain why there are so many of the little buggers.
So if you see a possum wandering around with a Scottish accent and a ruddy great sword, stay out of it's way. After all, there can be only one.