Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I think my country is trying to kill me...
I've always known that Australia was a dangerous place to live. This place just seems to be jam packed with beasties that want nothing more than to cut a bitch. We've got crocodiles, sharks, dingoes ... and don't even get me started on koalas ... any of which would cheerfully end you as soon as look at you. And possums! Those little buggers are vicious, don't let their furry little faces fool you.
We've got eight of the ten most poisonous snakes in the world. Eight out of ten! And the spiders! Seriously, just the idea of being bitten by a funnel web is enough to scare the bejezus out of me.
And don't even get me started on our oceans. We've got box jellyfish which can kill you from the pain of their sting alone, blue ringed octopus which is only the size of a golf ball but is the most poisonous sea creature in the world, the stone fish which looks like a freaking stone so you don't even notice it until you've already stood on it and then bam, too late, and of course the old classic, the shark.
It's kind of a miracle that any of us make it into adulthood!
Sorry, I know I'm ranting. It's just that my next door neighbour told me today that he saw a brown snake in our shared front yard.
The second most poisonous land snake in the world ... in my front yard ... where I walk every day to get to my car.
Welp, I guess I'm never leaving the house again.
I'm probably overreacting. It's entirely possible it was a less poisonous snake and my neighbour was just mistaken, and even if he wasn't the snake apparently went into the next door's yard as he watched so maybe it was just "passing through". Still, I guess I'll have to make sure I'm a little more careful from now on.
Good thing I spend practically no time outside.
I suppose I should be used to it by now, this is Australia after all. Living here, you kind of learn to just accept the sheer dangerousness of everything around you as a given. You kind of just accept that from time to time you'll be sharing your yard (if you're lucky) or your house (if you're unlucky) with something that can kill you.
I remember reading a great article written by Douglas Adams where he describes Australia and it's many dangers (and talks about how nice we are ... aw shucks, Doug, t'wern't nothin'). He goes on and on about the deadliness of our animals, the importance of checking inside one's shoes for trespassers, and the usefulness of a big stick. The whole thing pretty much sums us up as a nation.
Go have a read of it, it's well worth the giggle.
As for the snake ... if he does come back I expect the possums will take care of him. Like I said, those buggers are terrifying!