Men get strip clubs, brothels, gentlemen's clubs, but what do we get? Hmm?
The Chippendales, that's what!
It's a poor substitute for what we really need, isn't it. So, in the interests of fair play, I've decided to open up my own "Ladies Club", providing the sort of companionship that we really want.
Why don't you take a look at the escorts available and see if any of them strike your fancy?
First we have Matthew. Matthew is kind, considerate, and will always notice when you have a new hairstyle or are wearing a new outfit. His favourite thing is to go shopping, not to buy things for himself but to carry bags for someone else. His response to "Does this make me look fat?" will always be an instant and unequivocal no, and he would never dream of saying that a someone owned too many pairs of shoes.
Next up is Dan. Dan likes to talk about his feelings, sometimes for hours. He loves to lie there, spooning, while trying to find just the right words to explain just how much he cares. He's an expert in playing footsie, and has an advanced degree in snuggling.
Then we have John. If you're a sucker for spontaneous displays of romance, then John's the one for you. He specialises in having flowers delivered for no particular reason, sneaking love notes into carefully prepared lunches, and planning spur of the moment weekend getaways. His spontaneous serenades are world renown.
And finally, we have Rick. Being the strong, silent type, Rick will stare lovingly into your eyes for hours, communing with your soul. He's one for actions over words, so his devotion and dedication will be shown through the medium of classy handmade furniture and carefully prepared gourmet meals. He's a man of few words, but he could write an essay with his eyebrows.
Any of these fellows could be all yours for the evening, ladies, for a modest fee. Just come on in to Kellie's House Of Femininte Ill Repute, where we give you what you REALLY want.
Yep, this is what I'm going to do. I'm pretty sure I'll make a fortune!