Seriously, girls? A goat? Shame on you! And then all you did was paint its hooves with nail polish before sneaking it back in again? It's just juvenile. What if it didn't want it's hooves painted? What if it's now confused about it's gender identity, all because you thought it'd look better with a dash of Barely Pink?
I know it sounds like I'm mad at you both, but I'm not. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.
You're both capable of stealing an animal a lot larger and much more dangerous than that.
I mean, look at the guys who stole the crocodile from Rockhampton Botanical Gardens a few years back! Now THEY weren't limiting themselves to the cute, cuddly, friendly animal. Oh, no, they put themselves out there, pushed their boundaries, scaled a two and a half metre chain fence and then manhandled a one metre fresh water crocodile back over it and out of the park!
Of course, they tried to steal a koala first, but gave it up as a bad job when it turned out to be far too vicious. See, I was right about those little buggers! Turns out that when you have a choice between a koala and a crocodile, you should go with the croc.
You're just not living up to your potential, girls. You could have tried to steal a bear, or a wildcat, or any number of other bloodthirsty, vicious animals, but you chose the cuddly little goat that, by all reports, would go with anyone who was willing to give it a chin scratch.
Man up, girls. Go big or go home.
Yeah!!! We are women, hear us roar! Get in there and steal a lion or tiger or something!
ReplyDeleteI know! They're definitely capable of more, they should try living up to their potential.
DeleteYou know, those baboons are pretty fierce too. Let's see them mess with one of those!
ReplyDeleteOoh, I'd pay good money to see that!
DeleteI'm childish. As long as the goat was nicely treated (a mani-pedi sounds nice), this does make me chuckle. (And thank you for giving me a reason to use the word 'chuckle' :)
ReplyDeleteA metre long croc doesn't sound too scary... ?
LOL! It doesn't sound scary, but believe me he was big enough. I used to go see him when I'd visit my Oma who lived just around the corner and I always remember thinking he was enormous. Of course, I was a kid so perhaps my perspective was skewed.
DeleteOK OK! I confess! I took the damn goat!
ReplyDeleteI knew if I made with the chin music long enough you'd canary!
DeleteSorry, I think I was channelling a 1930's gangster for a minute there.
They didn't even take a full grown goat! It was a tiny baby goat! The part that the story didn't tell us is, what kind of crime they actually committed. If you take something then put it back prettier, is that a crime? I once kidnapped a Yeti, is that tough enough?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! Yeti's are notoriously vicious, not to mention bad smelling. You should get extra points for the smelliness.
DeletePut sugar-water feeders in their hair and let the hummingbirds at 'em!
ReplyDeleteHarsh, but fair...
DeleteI'm a city boy; are you telling me goats don't come with pink toenails?
ReplyDeleteNot on the standard model. I think you have to pay more for the painted hooves. And if you want one wearing mascara, you don't even want to know how much that'll set you back...
DeleteYes ladies - set the bar a bit higher! I'd love to see Barely Pink on croc claws.
ReplyDeleteOoh, now there's a challenge! Getting the croc out, painting it's nails, then getting it back in again!
DeleteWhat would you paint on a python? Oh, I know, you would wrap a feather boa around it!
ReplyDeleteLOL! If you had two feather boas, you could braid them with the python!
DeleteAgreed, they totally should have gone bigger. And really, if you are going to wimp out and steal a "sweet" goat, you just have to do something over the top for the return. Nail polish just ain't gonna cut it. At least slap a wig and a prom dress on it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where one get's a prom dress in a size that would fit a goat ... no, I'm not asking for any particular reason.
Delete*shifty eyes*
Come on, I know you've seen toddlers and tiaras or other such show. Put away the shifty eyes!
DeleteI hope the goat at least took a dump in their car for all of their trouble. What a pair of wimps!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd guess so. Have you ever seen how much goats poop? I'd say they were knee deep in it by the time they'd finished their manicure.
DeleteI hadn't heard of this story here; honestly I think they should have some type of penalty assessed to them for their stupidness. Several years ago here, I heard a story that was indeed true of a little autistic boy going to Sea World with his parents. He got away from them for a bit and they were of course frantic to find him. They were reunited with him after a bit of time and decided to call it a day and go home. At home, the mom was opening his backpack and inside was a penguin (I kid you not). Somehow he had gotten into the penguin encounter and taken one and put it into his backpack. They called the officials who promptly came to reclaim the penguin; if I remember correctly no charges were filed. Somehow though I think in the case of an adult, they should be......
ReplyDeletebetty
I can sympathise with the kid. I remember feeling the same way about the baby chicks a the hobby farm we used to visit. I wanted so badly to put one in my bag and take it home!
DeleteThis entire post is cracking me up! Thank you for the giggles!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday!
Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitress!
DeleteMaybe they were rogue animal testers from the nail polish company, and goat hooves seemed the ideal palette for testing?
ReplyDeleteGoats are definitely not the most awesome animal they could have snuck out for a while.
Now, if they'd taken an chimpanzee out for cocktails, then I'd be impressed!
DeleteDid the blokes paint the croc's toenails?
ReplyDeleteI would assume it's standard practice in animal abduction cases. Or maybe they just gave it a makeover.
DeleteI remember there was a local story a few years back about some drunk college kids that broke into the zoo and stole a penguin. When they sobered up, they realized they had a penguin they didn't know how to take care of, so they called the police and turned themselves in. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteImagine waking up the morning after the night before to find a penguin in your lounge room! I bet that scared them off the booze.
DeleteLove it! I am just catching up so I needed something to laugh over. They do need to set their bar a bit higher. Aim High girls. Otherwise you make the rest of us look bad. That may get you a good old fashioned arse kickin'.
ReplyDeleteThey really need to pull on their big girl pants and steal something at least a little bit dangerous!
DeleteHahahaha, I'm so glad you found my blog!! You are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI just have a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous, I think :D
Delete