Monday, October 8, 2012

An open letter: for the love of god, enough with the break up songs already...

Dear female singer who shall remain nameless,

Hi honey, how are you?  Everything going fine?  Good.  I know you're probably wondering why you're getting a letter from me, after all I don't exactly fit into the 14-21 age range that makes up most of your demographic.  But I just heard the song you released a couple of months ago and, I have to say, I'm starting to get a bit worried.

I'm not going to name you, you know who you are *coughtaylorswiftcough* but I couldn't in good conscience let it go without saying something.  Sweetie, this has to stop!

I know you're probably still feeling a bit raw about the latest break up, and god knows we all know the dirty details thanks to that song, but I just wanted to make a suggestion.  How many ex's do you have now?  Nine?  Ten?  And you're what, twenty two?  And every time you break up with one of them, you write a song or two about what a bastard they are.

Now I'm not saying you shouldn't vent your spleen lyrically, I'm just suggesting that there might be a bit of a trend developing here.

Look, we've all been there.  A boy breaks up with you, you get angry, you bitch him out to your friends, your friends get you wasted off your face on daiquiris.  Maybe you drunk dial him.  But writing chart topping songs about all your dirty laundry?  Well, that's just drawing attention to the fact that yet again you've had some guy leave you in less than amicable circumstances.

I hate to say it sweetie, but I think it's time for some tough love.  There's only one common factor in all of this, you.  Perhaps you need to write fewer songs about how your ex boyfriends are all bastards and take a long, hard look at your choices.  Cause I have to say, I'm not sure how many more of those angry/depressed break up songs the public can take before they start to wonder if maybe you're the problem.

Just putting it out there.

Love Kellie

51 comments:

  1. Hear hear! John Mayer??? It's not like the girl was walking in blind.

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    1. Very true. His history really does speak for itself.

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  2. No no I am against this. I want these heartbroken girls to sing out or cryout their frustration with their ex boyfriends. If there are happy, the songs arent going to be good. Can you imagine a happy song from Adele?

    I would like to write a open letter to these boyfriends who breakup with these girls else we shall have no good songs.

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    1. Oh GAWD! Adele sing a happy song? That'll be the day!

      I honestly thought she was who this was about until the *coughtaylorswiftcough* came in to clear things up. I like the songs, the beats, etc., but Adele honey, ya gotta love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love You. Much the same can be said for Taylor too.

      All of that aside- we have ALL been there before at some time or another. Sick of the BS, pissed off to no end and want redemption for something. TS is just making a lot of money off if the hurt we have all felt. It sells because we can relate.

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    2. LOL! I suppose that's true, I suppose. I do love me some angst

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  3. I love Taylor Swift's latest because it's so funny. We're never ever getting back together, like, ever. Embodies the terrible speech patterns of youngsters and makes me giggle. I admire her ability to squeeze out so much material from what have to be super quick "romances". All I could manage to come up with were zingers like "F*&^ you!" and "You aren't even that good looking". Wish I were able to make millions instead.

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    1. "You aren't even that good looking"

      Hahaha!!

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    2. It is a bit of an underrated skill, I suppose. A lyrical angst explosion.

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  4. YES!!! I read the title of this post and before I even clicked to start reading I was thinking, what's the name of that girl who always does this? That tall, pretty blonde lanky thing? Ah well...

    And then I read on. :)

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    1. Yep, she drives me crazy! I love a good break up song as much as the next person, but after the first ten of them from her, I started to lose sympathy.

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  5. Having happily never heard her songs (knowingly anyway) there seems to be some kind of message in nearly all songs in the charts, my pet hate being Green Day who in their day were great but now have too political a message in all their recent tracks. The beauty of music is choice, do we listen to love, break up or a party political message? It all come down to our own personal choice! Mr M

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    1. Personally, I prefer the songs with funny messages, like Jonathan Colton or Paul & Storm. Those guys are HILARIOUS!

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  6. I have no idea why anyone still dates her. I mean, you KNOW it's gonna end in a song that makes you look like a douche nozzle. And it's not like she's that hot. Cute, yeah, I'll give her that. But not enough for me to have a ballad written about that one time I ate the last french fry without offering it to her first. I couldn't live with that kind of pressure.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. It does seem to be a bit stupid of them. They must realise the risks going in, they can't claim that they didn't know that every minute detail of their relationship was going to be displayed to the public in a three minute vidoe clip.

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  7. I think Adele is the queen of break up songs. She is always singing sad songs about lost loves (or maybe they just sound that way). She needs to get happy!

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    1. I can at least forgive Adele for her chronic break up song habit because at least her songs have some quality to them. Taylor Swift's ones are just the standard crappy chart toppers.

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  8. I completely agree. At least if she is going to write the obnoxious songs, don't tell the public WHO the song is about. That is bad form. Which is why I cahnge the station when she comes on even though my children are going, "Moooo-ooom! It's Taylor Swift!" And I reply, "I know! This is who NOT to be like!" And another thing! That freaking "Love Story" Honey, if you are going to write a song about Romeo and Juliet, perhaps you should stick to the story. THEY DIE! And numerous friend and family DIE because of their "love". So romantic all these girls going around talking about wanting to be like Romeo and Juliet. *puke* Such a role model that Taylor Swift.

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    1. That's true, Romeo and Juliet is the ultimate after school special, all about how if you try to run away with your boyfriend when you're only thirteen, you'll end up dead. But people never seem to remember that bit.

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  9. Unfortunately, I will never, ever, ever get her blasted songs out of my head. I have a 12 year old daughter who loves her, and I would like to do serious bodily harm to the jerk that introduced them. Whenever she tries to play Taylor songs, I just keep repeating, "You don't want to be like her. She is a miserable role model." until the boys can get to the CD player to turn it off.

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    1. I'd feel better about it if there was even a dash of Pinkesque woman power, but there isn't.

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  10. YES! How about an introspective breakup song that deals with "I am probably too needy and clingy and that's what made you run the other way"?
    Actually, I don't have such a problem with breakup songs that the lyrics are depressing it's that the tempo is depressing. Have we all lost sight of Aretha Franklin? How about some upbeat breakup songs? Show those boys how happy you are!

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    1. I TOTALLY agree! I Will Survive is the best break up song ever, and it's as peppy and affirming as you can get under the circumstances. Good old Gloria, they don't sing them like that anymore.

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  11. Finally, someone who has the same train of thought as me! I've been trying to convince everyone around me that her songs are getting endlessly repetitive. Oh well, I'll just point them to your post, and keep my fingers crossed..

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    1. Spread the word! We'll have 'em convinced in no time.

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  12. Awesome. I agree with Pickleope--these songs shouldn't be all mope, some should have some uptempo "Woo yeah, I'm free, jerkwad!" elements.

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    1. Absolutely! I Will Survive was my motto through most of my unhappy breakups.

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  13. Dear Taylor Swift,

    If everyone always breaks up with you after getting to know you, maybe they're not the problem. Maybe you're the problem.

    Sincerely,
    The hard truth

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    1. Hopefully she'll listen to one of us. We only have her best interests at heart. Well, her best interests ... and a desire to stop those thrice damned songs.

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  14. too true. When EVERYONE around you is a jerk, it might be time to look at yourself a little closer in the mirror..

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  15. Isn't it wonderful these are the role-models for today's tween girls? I guess Taylor Swift is at least preferable to Twilight.

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    1. I love Twilight, but I'm fully aware of what an AWFUL message it sends, not to mention how manipulative it is. But I can't help myself, it's a guilty pleasure

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  16. I'm LMAO at A Beer for the Shower's comment! I agree with you!!

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    1. Maybe if enough of us say it, she'll realise. We only have her best interests at heart.

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  17. A fun letter. Good advice. Funny though, one of her break up songs is so catchy. It's all: " we are never, never, never.........getting back together." I think it's a fun one to sing. :)

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    1. I prefer "I Will Survive" for getting my break up agression out. I'm a sucker for the classics :D

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  18. By now you just know guys are only dating her in hopes to have break up song written about them a few months later.

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    1. Well that's one way to get famous I suppose, but the bad sort. The K-Fed method.

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  19. Beer for the Shower hit it spot on. Oh and I will take a beer as well if you are passing them about.

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    1. Beer all round! Beer for the Shower, you're buying, right?

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  20. So true!! I forget she is so young after hearing each new break up.

    Though, I do want to recommend the latest one to some students in the hopes that they never, never, ever get back together with the not-so-great people they are dating.

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    1. LOL! Well I suppose it's one way to connect to them at their level.

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  21. women have bought the idea that society is telling us ..we are equal in every single way to men...so men get a free pass and women get to take free birth control pills.

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    1. Not on my watch they don't! I don't take the pill, so when a guy wants to get jiggy if it ain't on, it ain't on!

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  22. I haven't heard any of her songs in its entirety and I may have only heard snippets of two or three songs. BUT I TOTALLY agree with you, based on what people have told me. People need to tell her to get some therapy and pick better men, or hell, give being single a go for a while. I'm sure she's got enough tween cash saved up by now.

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    1. I just don't understand why she can't get angry and egg his car like the rest of us. That's the healthy way of dealing with it. Writing song after song? That ain't healthy.

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  23. Just wait till the Kennedy's make Conor break up with her. You think you've heard break-up songs? THAT will be the break-up song to end all break-up songs!

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  24. LOVE THIS!! I heard the song on the way to work this morning and thought of this post and died laughing!

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  25. Have you seen this? Kind of funny take on her song.

    http://screen.yahoo.com/sketchy-were-never-ever-actually-050000933.html

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