Saturday, October 20, 2012

Eighty three percent of statistics are made up on the spot...

I think that it was quite prophetic that in my last entry I was bemoaning the evil, manipulative ways of statistics, as I just found out that today is World Statistics Day.  Happy World Statistics Day!!!

Okay, so in actual fact it's not World Statistics Day, apparently it's far too boring of a holiday to have every year so they decided that celebrating it once every five years would be more than enough.  The next one is due in 2015.  Damn you, statistics!  You're still making a fool of me!

But in recognition of the second anniversary of the last World Statistics Day (Shut up! I can celebrate it if I want to!  You're not the boss of me!) I've decided to regale you all with some fun statistical facts.  And of course by facts, I mean complete fabrications.

-  A ten gallon hat can only hold three quarts.
-  There's a 50% chance that your lost remote is behind the couch cushion, but only 4% chance it's in the fridge. 
-  A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. 
-  2% of American adults think that Mitt Romney's real first name is "Mittens". 
-  The furthest you can see with the naked eye is 2.4 million light years.
-  People who have accidents on Friday the 13th are 53% more likely to end up in hospital. 
-  There are, on average, thirteen vending machine related deaths each year. 
-  You can burn 1,560 calories by kissing for an hour. 
-  Every year 8,800 people suffer toothpick related injuries. 
-  Two in five people marry their first love.
-  Only 30% of people can flare their nostrils
There you go!  A few statistics in honour of the day.  Of course, I give no guarantee that these are true in any way, shape or form ... but hell, that's never stopped anyone from believing weird things before.

So what's the weirdest statistic you've ever heard?

36 comments:

  1. I need to go find myself a partner to start my new kissing workout.

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    1. I was pretty surprised when I saw this one (it was given in minutes), but when I converted it to an hour this is what I got. Makes you think they should stop harping on about exercise in schools and just let those randy little teenagers make out more, doesn't it!

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  2. Here was one of my favorites. On average, two Americans die every year from the plague. Someone's doctor didn't do their job and prescribe some antibiotics.

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    1. Wow, old school! I suppose as far as memorable deaths go, it's a pretty good one.

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  3. A moose drools thirteen gallons every day.
    Bald men are 65% more grateful for sex than their hairy counterparts.
    Dog farts consist of 20% methane, 45% fecal particles, and 35% of the imagination of children.
    Basketball players are 100% more likely to have multiple children from multiple women whose names they don't remember.
    100% of people cannot touch their tongue to their elbow. And 50% of the people who just read that tried to do it.

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    1. I want to know how many children are these dogs eating to get such a high percentage of imagination in their poop!

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  4. World Statistics Day?! Makes my head hurt.

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    1. Maybe that's why they only want to do it every five years :D

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  5. I read an article about the flu, and the story reported that between 3,000 and 50,000 people die each year from it. That's like the biggest spread I've ever read EVER.

    Love your "stats!"

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    1. That is pretty broad. I'd go so far as to say that they obviously put no real effort into narrowing down that particular window.

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  6. I really want a toothpick related injury now.

    But I'll take a vending machine one. Either would make a great story.

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    1. So long as you're not one of those vending machine fatalities! That'd be awful, to be remembered by friends and family as the one who had a vending machine fall on them. No one would be able to keep a straight face at the funeral!

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  7. Dare I ask for an example of vending machine related deaths?!

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    1. Ooh, you really don't want to know. They're ... unpleasant, and more than a little bit squishy.

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  8. I can sleep well tonight knowing all of these very 'interesting' statistics. Only I won't be sleeping near Podge if Pickleope is right about the 20%. Lol

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  9. Wait.... Is his name NOT Mittens Romney!?!?

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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  10. I wanna come back in my next life as a pig. ;)

    S

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  11. Interesting!! 2.4 million light years, our bodies are pretty amazing!
    I am your new follower. It will be great if you follow me back

    www.abi-asaturdaymorning.blogspot.com

    Abi K

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I'll come by and visit you soon :)

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  12. His first name isn't Mittens? I'm flaring my nostrils as I write this.

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    1. Excellent, I do love a good debunk.

      *flares nostrils*

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  13. Hahaha, these made me chuckle.

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  14. All interesting statistics; I'd like to know how they timed that about the pig......

    enjoy the weekend!

    betty

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    1. That is perhaps best left with a veil over it. A very heavy, non-see-through, hose downable veil.

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  15. Being able to see 2.4 million light years makes me happy for some reason.

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  16. So how long would i have to kiss someone to burn off that cheeseburger I just ate?

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    1. I'd err on the side of caution if I were you and say three days?

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  17. Dont know any as interesting as the ones you have found but I did hear that 17.56% of people believe that World Statistics Day should be an annual holiday. 9.2% of people surveyed thought that a holiday for "damned lies' made more sense and a whopping 25% would like a day to celebrate all things anally retentive, which of course includes statistics

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    1. That's some good statistics making up! I'm so proud!

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  18. I have been hearing some weird and overhyped stats coming from both Romney and Obama. I think they are redefining the term "Statistics"

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