Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Crafty...

Now that we’re all getting to know each other a little better, I think it’s time to tell you about some of my more … interesting … hobbies.  You see, I’m a Gemini, and in true Gemini fashion, I have a tendency to jump on a fad or obsession, ride it until it’s exhausted, and then put it down and never look at it again.  It’s resulted in there being a lot of different phases in my creative life … as well as a lot of abandoned craft items in my house.


I’m a fair crocheter, and I do like to knit.  In my family it’s a bit of a thing to know how to knit socks.  I’m pretty sure I’m the only one actively using that talent at the moment, but I’m determined not to let the skill become rusty.  What if we have another World War and I have to start knitting socks for our boys at the front!  I'm no good at rolling bandages or collecting scrap metal.  I need to be prepared!


I tried the whole DIY furniture refurbishing, but that one didn’t end so well.  Now I have a half stained occasional table, and a kitchen floor that looks like someone was murdered in there.  Turns out furniture stain is impossible to get out of lino.  That was an interesting one to try and explain to my landlady!  


I ended up spinning quite the story about deceptive furniture stain instructions and hardware shop attendants who should find other forms of employment based on their bad advice.  I'm not sur if she believed me, but she was gracious enough to pretend that she did.


Embroidery is harder than it looks.  One delightfully misguided family member got me one of those “embroider it yourself” tablecloths as a gift one year, and I gamely went to the craft store and stocked up on embroidery thread of every possible colour.  But it didn’t take me long to realise that just because you can sew on a button and sort of fix a hem, that didn’t automatically translate into you being an elite status seamstress.  


So that resulted in yet another half finished project and a tablecloth that could have been lovely if it wasn't for the sad, sorry, puckered stitching around the edges.


It's handy for throwing over the bird cage though!


Luckily the threads didn’t go to waste after I discovered the joys of Subversive Cross-stitch.  It was positively serendipitous, what with the snarky irreverence and the modest level of skill required.  It took a while to get the hang of, but now I can cross-stitch curse words wreathed in flowers with the best of them.  

My mother still tuts and shakes her head every time she comes over to my place and sees the one I have nicely framed and on display on my side board.  But really, is there anything more elegant that telling someone to shut the fuck up via needlepoint?  How can you look at this and NOT want to hang it on your wall!


Exactly!

22 comments:

  1. The best kind of irony. Love it. I would so totally have that on my wall, but my son just learned to read, so... :-/

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    1. Probably not the best idea to introduce curse words as part of the decor then ... although if you wanted to you probably wouldn't find a classier way!

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  2. I learned how to embroider in 4-H when I was young. I still have a pair of embroidered pillowcases to prove it, LOL! I did a lot of cross-stitch about 20 years ago too (yes, it is much easier). I love the subversive cross-stitch designs! Such a breath of freah air in the stuffy cross-stitch world!

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    1. The patterns are wonderful, aren't they! I have to confess though I didn't buy mine from the site, I reverse engineered them. I like to think of myself as the MacGyver of the cross stitching world.

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  3. This sounds so much like me, if I am required to finish all the half-done craft projects in my house, I am going to live forever (and that's my secret plan)! :-) I do counted cross-stitch as well, and have made a couple cute comments for friends with s sense of humor. One guy's favorite saying was "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke", so this was stitched, matted and framed and presented as a gift and he adores it! The website you link to is new to me, and looks like much fun, I'm going to have to check it out further. Sometimes the best gifts are a bit irreverent, nicely stitched! :-)

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    1. Ooh, you don't want to live forever ... at least not without ensuring a "forever young" clause in the contract!

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  4. Gemmini eh, what are we like? I'm still knitting the Tom Baker scarf I made for the il man...4 years after I started.

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    1. Ooh, scarves are dangerous. You never know when to stop! They're almost as bad as afghans that way.

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  5. I love these!! I would love to see them in someones house!

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    1. They're surprisingly easy to make ... although I did learn the hard way that it's not a good idea to put them up at work.

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  6. Hey, I have something waiting for you on my blog. Stop on by when you get a chance.

    Have a wonderful week.

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  7. Love it!! I like your creativity with it all!!

    betty

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    1. LOL! Not so much creativity as it is suffering from ADOS (Attention Deficit ... Ooh Shiny!!!)

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  8. Hahaha I would LOVE that on my wall! I've always thought I should learn to sew, but I haven't gotten around to it.

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    1. I had a bunch of them on my wall at one point, but I was pretty sure my mother's head was going to explode if I didn't take them down, so I caved. But I kept one up ... cause I'm a rebel.

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  9. I once learned how to knit, but because I don't know how to fix cars I needed to forget to make sure I keep some manliness

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    1. That's fair enough. It's hard to look ruggedly masculine while you're knitting baby booties.

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  10. If I were to cross-stitch, I would certainly do it subversively. At a recent craft fair in town, one vendor was selling a bunch of these. Some were subversive, some used pop culture quotes, and others just mentioned bacon. Needless to say, I thought they were fantastic and decided to buy none of them (but only because I'm cheap).

    In other news, a sea-monkey walks into a bar. (Thanks for the suggestion, Kellie!)

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    1. You used my idea! Awesome! I've noticed that there's a decided lack of sea monkeys in modern comedy. I'm glad you've decided to help bridge that gap.

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  11. I always wanted to try my hand at knitting because I thought it would be fun, and cheap. Maybe it's fun, but I've done my research and it is not inexpensive. There goes my idea of gifting everyone a scarf for Christmas.

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    1. Oh, it's REALLY not cheap! Knitting is a labour of love. An expensive one.

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