Thursday, November 29, 2012

Put the butter knife down and step away from the sandwich...

So apparently there's a town in the US called Sandwich, and their police cars look like this.


Am I the only one whose first thought was "Damn, those people are really serious about their lunches!"

Sandwich Police Officer:  Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the table. 
Woman:  What seems to be the problem officer? 
Sandwich Police Officer:  I see you have a roast beef sub there.  Can I ask what condiments are present? 
Woman:  ... uh ... dijonnaise? 
Sandwich Police Officer:  Ma'am, are you aware that it's a felony to use mustard related condiments on a sour dough base? 
Woman:  It's not sour dough, I swear!  It's ciabatta!  They told me it was ciabatta! 
Sandwich Police Officer:  I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I'm afraid you're going to have to come down to the station. 
Woman's friend:  I told her she should have got the chicken wrap instead.

40 comments:

  1. I want to live in Sandwich. In the bay area I always drive by Upper Happy Valley Road and think of how fun it would be to be able to put that as a return address.

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    1. I can imagine it. "My address? Oh, that's 121 Dillpickle Lane, Sandwich".

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  2. You get a life sentence for using Wonder Bread, too.

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  3. there are many strange names for cities in the US but this one takes the cake, or mustard if you will?

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  4. Kellie, you should be a sit-com writer!

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    1. Aww thanks, I think so too! Especially when I watch some episodes of my favourite shows. I mean seriously, they're writing it! Why on earth am I better at remembering continuity of the show they created than they are?

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  5. I agree with Judy - you are funny and clever.

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  6. They're also known as the "Condiment Cops."

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    1. Well, Subway have "Sandwich Artists" ... do you suppose there's a whole town out there full of Sandwich related careers? Sandwich doctors? Sandwich teachers?

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  7. Can you imagine mug shots of the criminals they bring in? pickles in mussed hair, ketchup dripping from a smashed nose...

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    1. And you don't even want to know what a barbeque sauce addict looks like...

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  8. I'm thinking every town should have a sandwich police force. Some people make some crazy sandwiches that we should just not have to witness them eating.

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    1. LOL! My brother used to make mashed potato sandwiches. I think that definitely should be a criminal offence.

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  9. Lol, I'd be in so much trouble as I don't like ANY form of dressing on my sandwiches.

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    1. You'd want to be clear on the laws, that's for sure.

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  10. When the Sandwich Police pull you over, do they say "Stop! In the name of the loaf!"

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    1. Yes, although it loses some of it's impact when they pull a hotdog roll out of their holster.

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  11. Haha, you just know that those poor police have had to hear all the jokes too! Or maybe they are the ones to tell them :)
    The US has many weird town names.. Wouldn't you love/hate to be able to tell people that you were born in Cabbage Patch :) Better than coming from Sucker Flat or Squabbletown, but not as amusing as coming from Kissimmee or Kickapoo. And the town PO at Santa Claus has got to be pretty busy about now :)

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    1. We've got some weird ones in Australia too. Toogoolawah, Worrabinda, Mungalala,Cunnamulla ... they like to use indigenous names for our country towns :D

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  12. As soon as I saw the pic of that cop car I started singing Radiohead's Karma Police as Sandwich Police. And couldn't stop.

    Sandwich Police,
    Arrest this man, he talks in mayo
    He buzzes like a fridge,
    he's like a tuna with avocado.

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  13. Kellie, have you received my emails? I still haven't received the books from your Blogiversary a few months back. Is there a problem?

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  14. I could be a Sandwich officer. I've often wanted to slap some bologna away from someone's mouth to protect the innocent. Or arrest the person who includes onions in a tuna sandwich.

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    1. Ugh, onions on ANY sandwich should be illegal! Actually, onions on anything at all are a crime against nature unless the onions are really well cooked.

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  15. I just wish there was a town called Grammar. Imagine how much fun I could have, as a writer, rolling around in one of their retired police cars...

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    1. LOL! I'm sure I'd be in jail very quickly if there were Grammar Police!

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  16. Hi Kelly
    I've given you an award - see http://www.lifecherries.com/2012/11/more-blogger-awards.html

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  17. Is it weird that that cop car makes me want to become a police officer???

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. You mean you didn't want to before? I thought for sure the lure of fire arms and sexy uniforms would have drawn you in.

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  18. Ha Ha! :) I love it! Now THAT's some funny stuff. I love it when people make me laugh... Thanks.

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