Sunday, November 11, 2012

They just don't understand our love, Simba...

Really?  This is what you choose
to get arrested over? 
It's a tale of forbidden love.  Two souls, forever entwined, but cruelly kept apart by the harsh judgement of society.  Forced to meet clandestinely in the dark of night, only able to steal brief moments of comfort in each other's company and arms.

Well, when I say arms, I mean one set of arms and one set of immovable bronze paws.  The love of a man for his bronze lion statue is epic, epic I tell you!
Surely she's a much more
attractive option!

 So it seems that there is a young Austrian man somewhere in Russe, Bulgaria who was arrested the other day for having sex with a bronze statue of a lion in public.  Hmm, does that mean that if he'd done it in private they wouldn't have had a problem with it?  I suppose that's true, people have sex with inanimate objects all the time.

But it does make you wonder just why he thought THAT particular statue would be a good self pleasuring device.  There doesn't seem anything particularly sexy about it.  I mean, if he was going to get jiggy with a metal effigy, surely he could have found a nice bronze man or woman (whichever his preference) and then had his romantic liason.

Well, at least you know
what you're getting.
A quick Google search shows that there are plenty of other options in the town of Russe if you're determined to feel cool metal or stone under your wandering fingertips.  What about the girl above?  She's young, pretty and her hand is very strategically placed if you get what I mean!  *nudge nudge wink wink*

Or, if your tastes lean towards the male of the species, how about our friend to the left?  He's quite the strapping lad, although he seems to have forgotten his trousers.  Actually, now that I think about it, that hair cut kind of makes him look like He-Man.  I guess if you're into 80's cartoon heroes it could work...

But perhaps I'm pushing our Austrian friend too hard to find a human shaped inanimate partner.  Maybe he just wanted to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

27 comments:

  1. I once saw a programme about a woman who was in love with a merry-go-round, and had special moments with that, I kid you not! It takes all sorts.

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    1. A merry go round! Well, that's one I haven't heard of before. I did hear about a guy in love with his car ... and not in the way that most guys are.

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  2. The question is, what would you do if you came upon this guy in the middle of his statue abuse? (I doubt that lion gave his consent.) Would you scream, laugh, save the lion? I'm going to assume you wouldn't join in.

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    1. No, of course not ... at least not without being invited. That'd be rude.

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  3. I feel bad for the lion, and the worker who needs to clean it! yuck

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    1. Maybe he could just convince himself it was pigeon poop, if he didn't look too hard.

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  4. He should move to England. Statues of lions EVERYWHERE. Hot, sexy lions.

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    1. Oh no, he can never go to England! We'd never be able to keep his clothes on if he saw all those taunting, teasing statues!

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  5. Society won't take this lion down! (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

    I guess if he really wanted to do it with a lion, this was the safest way without getting mauled to death.

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    1. True. The real ones tend to object to shenanigans like that, and what with the claws and teeth and all...

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  6. How did he...was there, uh, insertion? Or was it just furious rubbing? In which case, couldn't he just do his business fully clothed? And then it wouldn't be a crime, more of a performance art thing, right?

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    1. If there was "insertion" as you put it, I think I'd be having a serious word with the guy who made the statue! What was he doing putting holes there? I'm all for realism in art, but that's a bit too much!

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  7. Ewww.. Just eww.. I hope they made him clean up his mess! What.A.Freak!

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    1. You mean you didn't buy into the epic starcrossed lovers story I spun? Well, can't say as I blame you...

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  8. A weemba way, A weemba way......in the jungle...

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    1. ... yeah, that lion ain't doing much sleeping, I'm afraid.

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  9. Kellie! too funny. Between you and Deb at JKIRF, I get a great laugh and a bit of a shock treatment all at the same time. Thanks, couldn't get through some blogging days with you cha!!!!

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  10. 'It's often enough just to be with someone. I don't even need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone' Marilyn Monroe.....maybe if he had know this truth (especially the you're not alone part).

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  11. This is hilarious. I can't stop giggling!

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  12. Are you sure he hasn't been unfairly portrayed & wasn't just giving the statue a damn good polishing?
    A very vigorous polishing, granted...

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  13. Statues and Sex, what is happening with the people in this world?

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  14. Is it wrong that I spent a decent amount of time looking at the statue to try to work out how he was having sex with it. Those news stories never provide enough pertinent information.

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  15. Hahahaha, I guess you can't fight attraction.

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  16. maybe he's less concerned with WHAT the statue is and more concerned with places or crevices in which he might insert himself for optimal pleasuring. or maybe he's all about the material it's made of. hmm... oh for a brief peek inside his crazy head!

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