Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Looks like I picked the wrong career...

Ladies, have you been feeling a little down on yourselves lately?  Suffering from low self esteem, negative body image or a poor quality of life?  Well, I have just the thing to perk you up.

Do porn!

That's right, according to this article, porn actresses are happier, healthier, and all round better than us normal woman.  Who knew that a little slap and tickle in front of a camera could make such a difference to your life!

Apparently 177 adult entertainment professionals were surveyed, and the results showed that these women were happier, more positive, more spiritual, and just generally well rounded than their non-porn sisters.  Who'd have thunk that an ability to fake an orgasm on screen was such a life improving thing.

Mind you, the results of the study that came up with these statistics were published in something called The Journal of Sex Research.  Yeah, that's right, in something that sounds like it should have a picture of a "sexy scientist" on the front who just accidentally lost her lab coat.  Add to that the fact that there's no mention of just who they're comparing these actresses to to get these result, and I'd have to say I'm not entirely trusting of the data.

Still, it's not like I have any solid evidence to say otherwise.  For all I know it's all completely true, and the best way to self fulfilment is to become a porn star.  And wouldn't you hate to miss out just because you were a little sceptical of the validity of the facts?

So go forth, my sisters and make those naughty rumpty pumpty films!  Do it for your families, do it for your friends, but most of all do it for yourselves!

No, seriously, do it for yourselves.  I hear those films pay a shitload!

29 comments:

  1. Did the study talk about how having a ginormous vagina akin to throwing a hot dog down a hallway effects their significant others? 'Cause I'm betting that would've changed the stats significantly.

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    1. Funnily enough, they didn't address it. I'm guessing they stuck with the positives.

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  2. Did the article take a survey of other big-breasted beautiful women with money? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that it MIGHT be because they're rich, gorgeous women that they're happy, and not necessarily that they pork dudes on camera every day that leaves them so full of joy.

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  3. You can not argue with a survey by experts!

    xxx
    cranky

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    1. LOL! They're definitely professionals, it's what they're professionals at that has me concerned.

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  4. You think there's a niche for ladies in their 40s who have given birth six times and have boobs sagging to her navel? No? Looks like I'm stuck being poor and unhappy, then.

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  5. I think you might be on to something with that article being a *bit* biased in it's origin. I would be less dubious if there was some information on where the funding for this research came from.

    That said... I also think there could be some validity there. Those women, on a regular basis, get validation that they're sexy, wanted, and attractive. They earn big bucks for it, and I'm betting they hang out in social circles that are sex-positive, where there isn't a whole lot of judging going on for who stuck what in who's holes, or what's wrong with liking that. If I had someone telling me I was sexy/ pretty and giving me a bunch of money for being the center of attention day in and out, I'm pretty sure I'd consider my quality of life in the upper ranks.

    I have friends who work in a gentleman's club, and while I'm not going to pretend that there aren't some sincerely drug-addled and troubled women amongst the dancer's ranks, I can tell you the women who chose to enter that line of work are wildly confident and happy with their lives and profession. I can also say I generally enjoy having a profession that I'm not ashamed to share with my parents... but I'm more than a little jealous of their self-confidence.

    I know it's not a scientific study, but the writer of Juno wrote a book before her script debut called "Candyland," detailing her year as a stripper and it is SUPER interesting/ funny as well as pertinent to this topic.

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    1. Truthfully, I have no idea if women in sex professions are happier. It's entirely possible they are if they're working with good people, I'd imagine the money is excellent for the hours involved. But I'd definitely consider the research in the article as suspect.

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  6. Picked the wrong career? Ah don't worry. Your self worth and your self respect are valued more highly, I'd trust. They would be with me. Well, I would rather be poor and clean, is what I'm getting at. I do like your writing talent and your imaginative use with getting the issues apparent.

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    1. Yeah, I have a bit of a thing for sarcasm. My dad always says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but I'm just happy to be considered witty at all.

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  7. I have been telling The Girlfriend this for YEARS! Maybe now she will believe me.

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    1. Well it is science that says it! She can't exactly argue with science!

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  8. Maybe I could talk Mr MB into it, I doubt he'd let me go at it alone ya know! :)

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    1. I'm sure there's a niche market for it. There's a niche market for everything!

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  9. Very very strange. Perhaps it's that they fake pleasure on screen so much that they can't help but fake pleasue in surveys?

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    1. Possibly. I'd imagine it'd make eating in public with them a very embarrassing situation. Very When Harry Met Sally.

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  10. Somehow I'm thinking that 49 yr. single mom's with grandkids don't qualify but hey, maybe. Debbie Does Dallas vs. Debbie Does Depends? Could work.. :p

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    1. Hey, for every kink out there, there's a kinkster who's totally into it!

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  11. I'd trust it more if they also surveyed 50 year old ex-porn stars. Of course they responded positively. If you call me while I'm having sex and super high on a milieu of drugs, I'd be happy too. Did they call the German Shiza porn stars?

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    1. Good point, I'd imagine those poor German ladies aren't as happy. It's a whole new spin on the expression "shit eating grin"

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  12. What the heck, I'll give it a whirl. I'm an excellent spanker...

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    1. LOL! Now all you have to do is decide if you're going to go down the track of "kneel slave, and beg for my whip" or "mummy is very upset with you".

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  13. Job satisfaction guaranteed, or at least giving the appearance of extreme job satisfaction.

    Great way to meet lots of new friends too!

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    1. You get to visit exotic locations like the local Best Western too!

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  14. I work in insurance... I know for a fact that porn stars are WAY more happier than I am. And that includes the ones with herpes!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. LOL! Well, at least they have their money to comfort them in their STD addled old age.

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  15. It's marvelous I had no idea about this until I saw this blog post of yours over here. Will you be so kind and answer my question. Do you happen to know how to protect your own thoughts from being used without you knowing it?

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