Dear bicyclist who was on the road this morning,
I'm trying very hard to remain calm here. I don't want to lash out at you in anger, that's not going to get us anywhere, but you're really not making it easy for me. I'm just having a hard time understanding why you insist on going out there on the road every day and wilfully putting your life (and my sanity) on the line!
I get it, I really do. Being a cyclist is difficult. You ride around on a small tin machine with only a fibre glass helmet and a terrifyingly tight pair of bike pants to protect you. It must be awfully stressful, navigating roads filled with roaring metal contraptions that seem to want to run you down.
So I would have expected that you'd take more care with your personal safety, not less. I know the traffic this morning was going slower than usual, but that doesn't give you leave to overtake me in a narrow lane, swerve in front of me, then look over your shoulder and start yelling at me! I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but what you did was against the road rules, and if you insist on riding on the roads with the rest of us, then we're going to have to insist that you follow them!
Your action were irresponsible and dangerous, you could have gotten yourself hurt, and trying to blame me for them just because you were scared and feeling guilty isn't going to help anyone! If you want to ride your bike on the road I won't object, but I refuse to support you if you're just going to use it as an excuse to pirouette around me, trying to get yourself turned into a little greasy spot on the bitumen!
I'm sorry, I don't mean to shout. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. I don't want to see you hurt, and god knows I don't want to be the one that hurts you.
So here's the deal ... I'll accept half of the responsibility for your safety, if you'll accept the other half. Come on, it's a fair deal. Up until now I've been doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship, making sure I know where you are at all times while you duck and weave through traffic like a five year old on pixie sticks. All I'm asking for is a little care for your own well being on your part ... and perhaps brushing up on the road rules wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Love Kellie.
P.S. Don't take my jibe about the tight bike pants to heart, you've got a rather nice rear so they're really quite fetching.
He had the gall to yell at you? Does he not understand that if he's going to use the road he has to obey the laws of the road? Or better yet, at least obey the laws of physics which state that he is on a flimsy bicycle and you're in a two ton death machine.
ReplyDeleteApparently not. At least, he seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable to cut in front of me and then yell like a maniac.
DeleteHello Kellie:
ReplyDeleteWatching cyclists weave through London traffic is a sight that has our hearts in our mouths....and we are just pedestrians!!As a motorist, we can hardly bear to think of the stress of constantly looking all ways to see whether a lycra clad bullet is heading for the front bumper. We can readily identify with what you have written here and hope that mentioned cyclist reads your blog!!!
We have to say that we do not care for tight lycra garments........too much information!
I quite like lycra ... when worn by the right person of course. It certainly accentuates the assets, but unfortunately it also accentuates the flaws.
DeleteAh cyclists... they want to be treated like traffic, but they never obey traffic rules. Stop signs? Who needs to stop at stop signs? Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of cyclists, and I am one.
ReplyDeleteThat's what gets me! If I'd done that, I'd have been fined, but they get away with it!
DeleteHere in The States we're a lazy lot, so the only bikers are real bikers who bike for excercise and know how to stay alive. Thank heavens. We also have a large idiot population, and I have no desire to see the idiots on bikes.
ReplyDeleteI can't say that lycra is all bad, as when put in jeans it helps hug things in nicely. Unfortunately, there is way too much hugging when the garment is all lycra. Even if the guy is fetching.
Good luck not killing anyone!
We seem to have a ridiculous number of them here. I blame all the greeny save-the-planet attitudes. I want to stop greenhouse emmissions as much as the next person, but you wouldn't convince me to give up my car.
DeleteTotally agree with "A Beer For the Shower"! I guess there's something about feeling free when you're riding your bike...nothing else but you and your bike matters, and those stupid cars are just invading one's space! Who do they think they are, right?
ReplyDeleteHas anyone wondered how many accidents due to distraction has lycra been responsible of?? Say NO to lycra!!
It is a bit of a crap shoot. If they look good in lycra, then they look GOOD and it's a pleasure to drive behind them. But if they don't ... well, less said the better.
DeleteGreat posting and I def agree. My neighbor was hit this summer. He's 60 and should have known better but swears he thought he had the right away even on a very busy Rural Route. I tried explaining to him that all of those dots all over the road are wild animals that thought the same thing. He was two houses away from the turn in to our development where cars are rear ended a few times a week, and also several head on collisions occurs, because the turn in to our development is also in a passing zone. Def agree with ya, and enjoyed reading your post today!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing isn't it, they always insist that they have the right of way! I think if they're on the road, they should have to follow the same rules as me.
DeleteI am afraid some of them are just plain stupid. We were stuck behind a young man wobbling all over the road, because he was sending a text on his phone! It was impossible to overtake because he kept veering to the side. Of course if we had hit him there would have been an uproar about careless motorists!
ReplyDeleteThe texting and cycling does seem to be a growing phenomenon. I have only experienced while on a bike path. But, the idiot coming at me almost ran into me on his bike because he was busy on his phone. I'm still amazed a lack of airbags does not mean a need for attention.
DeleteTexting while riding!!! What on earth will they do next!
DeleteLook...YOU need to watch where the F I am going. You crazy ass woman driver! Oh..but thanks for the nice butt compliment, I do try and keep it in shape.
ReplyDeleteSorry for yelling at you though.
Cranky
That's okay ... and the lycra was very fetching.
DeleteKellie, hi!
ReplyDeleteWasn't quite sure where this post title was taking me but I was intrigued. My brother cycles and I wonder what his behavior is like. I love bicycles too but I am so afraid of those large cars and trucks on the same road. Do you have bike lanes where you live? I really enjoyed your perspective in this write. You were honorably diplomatic.
Take care,
Renae @ *simple sequins* :D
LOL! I don't think I could ride a bike on the roads either. I like to be surrounded by a nice steel cage when I'm travelling, thank you very much.
DeleteSad to say, I DID hit a biker once. No apparent injuries--he refused to let me call either the police or the paramedics, or to let me drive him home. He did decide to sue me, though--$20,000 from my insurance company was all the medical help he needed!
ReplyDeleteSo he refused to let you call an ambulance, but sued you for $20K? Jeez, I think he had a plan. You sure he didn't run into you?
DeleteOh man, I can't STAND when cyclist don't follow the rules. There is a perfectly good sidewalk along the road that I take to work but do they use it? Never. I have never once seen a cyclist on it. And I understand that people walk on the sidewalks so it isn't very practical but trust me, in this part of town....nobody is walking.
ReplyDeleteI never understood that either. If I had a choice of the road or the footpath, I'd take the footpath every time!
DeleteWhen cyclists don't follow the rules of the road sooner or later they will pay for their mistakes. Sad. I love to ride my bike - I don't consider myself a cyclist - I just do it for fun (the Tour de France will never see the likes of me!) and never leave my neighborhood - a sleepy place, but I am careful. However, when cyclists don't follow those rules and annoy me - I try to just smile and 'wave.' Yes, I'm the crazy woman with the "HORN BROKEN, WATCH FOR FINGER" bumper sticker.
ReplyDeleteNo Tour de France for you? That's a shame, I hear it's lovely there at that time of year :D
DeleteI almost ran down a cyclist the other day. He was behind me in traffic and came around to get ahead of me while I was hitting the gas and preparing to make a right turn. I had no idea he was even there, a night, all dressed in black, without lights.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like they're asking to be hit!
DeleteIt's scary and dangerous driving along a road with a cyclist who acts as if the rules of the road do not apply to them!
ReplyDeleteTrue. Then again, there are some drivers who drive like that too.
DeleteLycra should be illegal except for the 20-30 year old rockin' HOT crowd. Other than that, citations should be issued.
ReplyDeleteLOL! The fashion police, arresting people for crimes against lycra.
DeleteMy belief is, that if they ride on the roads then they need to be licensed like every other road user. They need to pass a test, know the road rules and if they break them then they get fined or lose their license. Why do we allow the so called PC environmentally good non-carbon polluters (aka cyclists) to not have to follow any rules? And for crying out loud - make up their minds if they are a vehicle or a pedestrian - damn crazy breed thats for sure.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! If I had to go through that awful test with the guy who creeped me out, then they should too!
DeleteShortly after getting my license, I clipped the back wheel of a bike as I made a turn. I must stress that I DID NOT HIT the kid himself, only the wheel! But as it happens he flew off his bike anyway, I freaked out and ran into a mailbox.
ReplyDeleteBUT I didn't get a ticket because the kid was riding his bike on the wrong side of the road and turned out in front of me from behind some bushes.
Still, I never wanted to drive again. And to this day unless I have no other option (and I'll usually slow down or speed up to do this) I will go into the other lane to avoid a bicyclist.
That's good at least, the number of times I've heard of a driver getting in trouble for something a cyclist has done...
DeleteScary! I would've swore. A lot.
ReplyDeleteOh, I swore up a storm, believe me!
DeleteMust be a full moon or something, I had a manic cyclist, crazy driver and a couple of pedestrians on a suicide mission all within about 5 minutes of each other this morning. The thing that drives me most mad about cyclists in Canberra is that often they ride on narrow roads when there is an actual dedicated bike path RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!!! Ok, calming down now, it is just that I'm terrified of hitting one of these crazy erratic riders.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it, why wouldn't you ride on the path if you had the option! They must all have death wishes.
DeleteYou are very kind, Kellie. I have to admit my temper might have got the best of me on this one. I could tell you stories...
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh believe me, my temper definitely got a workout at the time.
DeleteOur city built a bike lane and it helped, but I would have gotten road rage with this one.
ReplyDeleteI came close, I have to confess.
Deletethey drive me nuts, the ones that insist to stay in the middle of the road!
ReplyDeleteOh god, I hate those ones! They swerve from side to side, going at about 20km per hour, holding everyone up!
DeleteIt kills me when cyclists, or even car drivers get at you when they were clearly in the wrong! Is there some sort of alternate road rules book with contadictory info that I don't know about? Cyclists scare me the most, because they are so vulnerable. Maybe you could buy.that guy a bike riding for dummies book?
ReplyDeleteRevisionists history perhaps? I'm guessing that in the few seconds between them being idiots and them blaming you for it, they rewrite the whole thing in their heads.
Delete"between them being idiots and them blaming you for it, they rewrite the whole thing"
DeleteLike "When you banged on the side of my taxi, I was nowhere near you - I was completely past!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mJAKKQSOoI
In Britain we get 'Cyclists need training', but usually the motorists are objecting to us doing exactly what the training tells us to do !
"alternate road rules"...
"the ones that insist to stay in the middle of the road"
Even the police need training
http://www.cycletraining.co.uk/library/website/resources/lib0000000151.pdf
http://www.iam.org.uk/media-and-research/media-centre/news-archive/20215-cyclists-claim-your-lane
http://www.roaddriver.co.uk/content/safety_tip/84/
"When you see a cyclist in front of you, apparently “hogging” their lane, look at the road; is there a blind bend, a pinch point such as a central island, a humpbacked bridge, a narrowing of the road installed to calm traffic, a high risk junction or traffic lights? We don't “take the lane” (ride down the middle of it) as a vindictive measure to hinder or impede motorists; we do it to prevent ourselves (and your no-claims bonus) from accidents caused by vehicles passing too close, squeezing through."
http://www.flickr.com/photos/carltonreid/5937441086/
I hate all bicyclists. Even then good ones.
ReplyDeleteP.S. For some reason I read the title as "a Hamlet and a pair of bike pants..." and then again for some unknown reason I thought that picture at the end was supposed to be a picture of Hamlet. At which point I was thinking to myself "Man I really don't know anything about Shakespeare". But as I started this comment I decided to read it again for the Hamlet reference and then noticed I read the title wrong. I really picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
LOL! I'm kind of disappointed you worked it out before you posted your comment! It would have had me scratching my head for hours trying to work out what you meant.
DeleteI totally give you permission to run him down. And That is LEGIT!! I'm a minister.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie
Thanks! I'll just grab my whacking stick then and go teach him a few road rules.
Delete