Sunday, November 25, 2012

Conversations with a feline dictator...

*Walks into the living room*

Me:  Gypsy, where are you?

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  Behold, puny human!  I am the mistress of all I purvey!

Me:  What the ... how the hell did you get up there?

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  It is a thrilling tale, not for the faint of heart.

Me:  No seriously, how the hell?  You fall when you're trying to jump on the couch!

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  When I spotted the great Mount Roomdivider during my bi-hourly patrol through the living room, I knew that it was something I had to conquer.

Me:  ... it's not even near the bench...

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  So I prayed to the Cat God, His Holiness Tiddles, and asked him to give me the strength to reach the summit.

Me:  ... didn't even break the lamp...

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  I felt myself become imbued with the power of the Cat God.  Energised with his holy light, I leapt at Mount Roomdivider, clawing my way up inch by torturous inch.

Me:  ... bloody six feet tall ...

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  Finally, after much struggling, and several perilous near misses, I finally reached the summit.  It was a great day for felinekind!  Now, assist me back to terra firma, peon!

Me:  ... you know what?  I don't want to know. You want to be on top of the room divider, you knock yourself out.  I'm sure you'll come down when you're ready.

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  No, wait ... where are you going ... come back here, human!  GET ME DOWN AND GIVE ME CHICKEN!!!


I'm still not sure how she got up there.  Seriously, she can't even jump onto the kitchen bench without assistance, and she falls off the couch about fifty percent of the time.  I'm just going to go with the assumption that I now have a poltergeist that likes to place my cat in random unusual locations.

27 comments:

  1. My cat somehow gets on top of one of my bookcases. It's so annoying, too, because I always have to get her down. They are just never satisfied with the status quo, are they?

    And cute kitty, by the way :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! She's cute alright, and she never looks cuter than in those few seconds before she does something awful.

      Delete
  2. So Ceiling Cat's name is Tiddles, eh? Hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yayyy I love an appearance by Gypsy the Feline Dictator! She always seems to find herself in precarious situations. But yeah, poltergeist is the most reasonable explanation. The question is, did you get her down without incident or are you all scratched up?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got her down no problem, of course it involved her using my head as a place to step but whatcha gonna do :D

      Delete
  4. I once lived in a house with a feline-relocation poltergeist. Poor Sir Thomas Munchalot (the kidling named him, really!) was never the same thereafter...

    Gypsy is a beautiful Feline Dictator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sir Thomas Munchalot! You, good woman, win the award for the best cat name ever!!!

      Delete
  5. So I wonder how the view was up there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You've heard that God looks after idiots and drunks? Maybe you could add "cats" to the list, too. :)

    S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely! The number of times she's escaped certain death by sheer luck is astronomical!

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. She's certainly got someone watching over her, that's for sure.

      Delete
  8. A poltergeist is as good an explanation as any, especially in a world where dictator cats can talk. Loved this!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure it's a poltergeist. Either that, or she's learned how to fly.

      Delete
  9. Haha it's crazy how they find their way into things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can never work out how she gets where she does! It's like she can levitate.

      Holy crap, my can can levitate!

      Delete
  10. Sounds like your cat would get on very well with my daughter's cat, Kitler. Maybe they could form a coven.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Maybe it achieved Cat Nirvana and developed the ability to levitate?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well she has been meditating a lot lately. Of course, her meditation looks an awful lot like sleeping in a sunbeam.

      Delete
  12. The strangest place we ever found a cat was hanging from the underside of the budgies cage which was suspended from the ceiling in the middle of the room. She must have jumped from the bench but that was one hell of a jump. Of course once she was clinging there the idea ceased to be a good one and a rescue was required.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a clever cat. They always get themselves in unexpected situations. They are a troublemaker but we still adore them.
    australian web hosting

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cats are funny! Hope you left her up there for a bit! ;)

    ReplyDelete