Saturday, August 4, 2012

Sparkly vampire heartbreak...

For those of you who have spent the past week living with your fingers in your ears, not reading any newspapers, watching any TV or surfing any current affairs sites, then you might not be aware of the fact that we've had another one of those celebrity break ups that make me feel like an old woman.

This time, it's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Yep, that's right, Edward and Bella are splitsville.  Apparently she cheated on him with her Snow White And The Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders.  Seriously?  That guy's like twice her age!  Maybe it's a Daddy kink thing?  I don't know, I've always been pretty strict in my age limits when it comes to dating.  My philosophy is if he's old enough to realistically be my father, then no deal.

Sorry Liam Neeson, I guess we were never meant to be ... and you've got such a cute accent too...

Apparently Kristen got caught in the act by the paparazzi and then poor Rob found out when the photos were published.  Sheesh, poor guy.  That's one sucky way to find out you're being cheated on.  And the, rather than apologise to him personally, she apologised in a statement to the press.  Umm ... maybe it's a famous person thing?  Maybe that's how celebrity couples communicate?

"My client would like to announce that she's going to be late home this evening as she is picking up a bottle of milk.  She hopes that her husband remembers to feed the dog."

But to be fair, she's only twenty two.  Hell, if I was held accountable for all the stupid shit I did when I was in my early twenties, let alone had it plastered all over the media, I'd probably have to go live in a cave somewhere to hide from the shame of it all.  No doubt it was a dick move on her part, but it does seem rather harsh that as punishment she's now going to have every teenage girl in the free world sending her death threads written on Hello Kitty stationary.

As heart breaking as this seems to be for a lot of the fans ... some of the reaction videos are frankly terrifying ... I personally see this as a good thing.  I can't wait for the release of the final Breaking Dawn film.  The press interviews are going to be exquisitely awkward for everyone involved!  It's going to be awesome!


  1. Kristen swears she didn't have sex with Rupert though. Hahahahahahahahaha, yeah.

  2. Oh, the reactive videos! Aren't they something else? Why do they care so much? It's quite bizarre. There's nothing scarier than a rabid fan of some cute boy.

  3. Great post:) So true-all those press interviews are going to be so awkward.

  4. Death threats on Hello Kitty stationary! Hahaha! Wow.

    It must be the depth of emotional range Kristen Stewart shows in her acting that has these men falling all over one another to get to her. From mild disinterest to complete disinterest, she can do it all. What range! That's what makes her the highest paid actress in Hollywood over the past year! Haha! Ha. Heh. Huh.

    I've made myself sad... off to go cry like a girl in a breakup reaction video.

  5. Age limits should adhere to the creepiness limits

    Half your page plus seven. Anything younger is just creepy