The other day I got called in for emergency babysitting duties. My friends' babysitter had pulled out on them at the last moment and they had tickets to the circus, so they needed someone to come and stay with Hayden, their two year old, while they went to watch people spinning around on ropes and doing frankly painful looking contortion tricks.
Of course, being the good pseudo Auntie that I am, I quickly agreed and trotted myself over there.
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| Kids TV for the new generation? |
Then I made my first mistake. I asked a two year old what he wanted to watch.
I thought maybe he'd say Sesame Street, or wouldn't be able to make up his mind, but he was quite clear about his preferences. He wanted to watch either In The Night Garden, a hideous kids show with scary looking puppets and absolutely no educational value whatsoever, or Bold and the Beautiful.
Yeah, that's right, he wanted to watch a soap opera!
And it's not like he was just pointing it out because it was on the screen, oh no! He knew the names of the characters! In his words, he wanted to watch "Widge and Book" ... which I'm assuming is two-year-oldese for "Ridge and Brooke".
But as much as I adore that kid, I wasn't watching B&B for anyone, so In The Night Garden it would have to be.
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| These would have terrified me as a child! |
Big mistake!
Have any of you ever watched that show? It's terrifying! The puppets are just creepy, and after watching an hour of it I can honestly say that they didn't actually DO anything! There was a lot of repeating of the creepy puppets' names, lots of watching the creepy puppets dance around or bop up and down, and then at the end of each one they actually had the audacity to do an animated summary of the episode, essentially forcing us to watch a whole lot of nothing all over again!
I suppose it must have something though, Hayden loved it. Even after the second episode he wanted to watch another one, but I don't think I could have stomached any more of that drivel so instead I whisked him off to bed.
Perhaps I should have let him watch B&B after all. At least that has a storyline, albeit a trite one. And not a freaky blue puppet in sight.
That does sound frightening. I was really scared by Bananas In Pajamas. Even the theme song is frightening.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, Bananas in Pyjamas, I grew up singing that song. They used to sing it on a kids show here in Australia back in the 70's, before the Bananas had their own show.
DeleteI'm so glad my children grew up with less scary tv shows :) Although Barney was a bit dopey.
ReplyDeleteBarney never scared me, although I personally think some of those kids were a little weird.
DeleteEver seen Boobahs? They scare the shit out of me, so do Tellytubbies. I swear Tellytubbies were sneaking subliminal message sin there. I haven't seen this show, and will not! It looks batshit scary!
ReplyDeleteUgh, Tellytubbies. No, I missed that craze, thankfully!
DeleteOh my dear LORD! The minute I saw this blog I immediately thought of watching Teletubbies with my son when he was two. Nothing quieted his two year old self more than that freaky ass show. I distinctly recall leaning over to his mother and whispering, "it's a plot to take over his mind. It's all subliminal messaging."
DeleteIt's obviously a conspiracy! They're grooming the next generation of assassins and hitmen!
DeleteThe Night Garden certainly doesn't sound like it should be a show for kids! I'm already creeped out and I've never even heard of it!
ReplyDeleteI did grow up watching soap operas with my grandma, though. I don't think it ever occurred to her that it might not be appropriate for a little kid :)
LOL! My dad took us to see Rocky Horror Picture Show when I was seven. We still tease him about the inappropriateness of that to this day :D
DeleteIn The Night Garden was obviously written by somebody who was heavily under the influence of crack.
ReplyDeleteMakka Pakka looks like a giant nipple whilst the birds are called Tittyfers????
And Upsy Daisy is a bit of a slut, molesting poor Iggle Piggle as he tries to run away.
Let's not forget the Wattingers who have 8 kids yet sleep in separate beds. I could go on but just the mention of the programme causes me to have a stress headache.
The Wattingers made me want to grab a tin of bug spray and see if I could exterminate them.
DeleteMy grandsons are all about Spiderman, Batman and Sponge Bob. I can deal with all of those. Creepy puppets and/or soap operas. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI could do those ones too, I think. It's just the stuff they come up with for toddlers that has me tearing my hair out.
DeleteI sure wish I was the brainchild behind Sponge Bob. That person is a zillionare!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, or Dora the Explorer. There seems to be an awful lot of merchandise out there for her. I'm sure she's worth a bomb.
DeleteKids TV is pretty horendous all around nowadays. It's gotten noisier, ruder, darker, more adult - just more obnoxious in every way. The only thing I trust is Public Broadcasting where Sesame Street has always kept its genteel home.
ReplyDeleteSesame Street, got to love it!
DeleteYou haven't seen full on creepy til you've seen "Yo Gabba Gabba". That shit is outta control.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've seen that one, but from the sounds of it maybe I shouldn't.
DeleteThat show looks like it would give me nightmares! As for the kids show, I grew up on Ren and Stimpy, so I think I can handle it.
ReplyDeleteAh, good old Ren and Stimpy. They had a certain flair about them, didn't they.
DeleteI've never seen or heard of this, but most children's shows are terrifying, and I don't think it's just this current generation. Remember the teletubbies? And the laughing baby face in the sun? That's the kind of stuff nightmares are made of.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing that it you watched it stoned you'd lap it up, but if you watched it drunk it'd be enough to make you psychotically paranoid. And that, my friend, is why drugs are better for you than alcohol.
DeleteI am positive that they no longer make kid shows for kids... They make them for adults who are stoned.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie
I'm beginning to suspect that they're hiding subliminal messages inside the shows, brainwashing the kids of today to become good little minions of the future regime. Paranoid? No, I'm not paranoid. I'm vigilant!
DeleteSeriously, drugs are involved in the making of these shows. I remember when Teletubbies came on the air and I thought, "What the hell?" What happened to the good ol' cartoons we had? I would have compromised...General Hospital! =)
ReplyDeleteI thought people bumbling around not doing anything and saying there names over and over was what Soap Operas were! I don't think I could tell those to shows apart!
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always! You definitely never disapoint with your posts!!