Friday, August 10, 2012

Miracles in my kitchen...

I think I need to call the Vatican, because I'm pretty sure I just witnessed a miracle in my kitchen.

Of course I can't be sure, I'm no expert in these things.  A couple of years of Catholic pre-school and the odd Easter service hardly qualifies me for this sort of decision.  But considering the unlikeliness of this happening, I'm going to go with divine intervention.

Yep, not just one but TWO double yolkers! 

It's an abundance of riches!  I'm actually embarrassed by the generosity of the chicken that laid them.  It almost seems a shame to eat them.

But maybe I should hold off before having it declared a miracle.  If I'm not careful, I could end up a Saint or something! I don't have any objections to it per se, but I'm not sure if I'd be a good choice for it.  I really don't have the cheek bones to carry off a stained glass portrait.

And I have to be honest, I think I'd get sick of the pilgrims after a while.  I'm sure I'd try to be hospitable, but there's only so many glasses of savings brand cola you can offer before you start to get a little testy about having your kitchen overrun by religious travellers.  What with all the genuflecting and the asking for blessings and the stealing kitchen implements to take home as religious souvenirs. 

As for the responsibility involved, I don't think I'm up to it.  Aren't Saints supposed to be models of moral decorum and religious peace?  Aren't they supposed to smile calmly and give vague, non-committal answers to questions?  I'm pretty sure I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face, and I don't think the Vatican wants a Saint that is continually saying "Oh, I'm a Pagan.  I don't believe in all that Bible stuff.  It's an interesting read, but it totally sucks as a primary historical source".

Perhaps it's best if we just keep this between us, hmm?  But I promise, if I find myself walking on water or raising the dead or anything like that, I'll make sure to let you all know. 


26 comments:

  1. Interesting and kind of freaky, but not a miracle -- one of the eggs would have to look like Elvis for it to be a legitimate Papal miracle, I believe...

    According to my reliable reference for ancient Wicca and Pagan folklore (Google), there is significance to the double-yolks:

    "...the Wiccan tribes and Pagans believed opening an egg with two yolks indicated plentifullness and good fortune: that you may expect one thing, and your expectations will be two-folded. It usually relates to fortune in finances and romance."

    So now you got that goin' for ya! Enjoy your good fortune (x2)!

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  2. Now see, if the eggs shaped themselves into images that looked like crying Virgin Marys or some such or if they had little wee crucufix shaped tears in the yolk then put that call in sister! Still, 4 yolks in 2 eggs is pretty fabulous, and a lovely meal!

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  3. This made me laugh so hard. I could only hang with the pilgrims for a day or so. I was more impressed with the eggs spreading to kind of resemble a chicken, myself.

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  4. This is so funny! I think the eggs look kind of like angel wings.

    I don't think I could take the pressure and publicity of being a saint.

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    1. No, I've decided being a saint would definitely cut into my busy internet-surfing and tv-watching schedule.

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  5. I'd put 'em on eBay and try to sell them for a million bucks. Hey, it works for Jesus toast!

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  6. ok um, miracles never cease?

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    1. Well I hope they do, I don't think I'm cut out for sainthood.

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  7. I have an award for you. Should you choose to accept it, you may pick it up here: http://lgkeltner.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-liebster-award.html

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  8. Whoa! Two double yokers? That's quadruplets! Definitely some sort of sacred event...you probably ought to take advantage and buy a lottery ticket or something.

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    1. I kind of expected someone to jump out and yell Mazel Tov!

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  9. That sort of thing reminds me of people with fused-together toes. I get a little woozy.

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  10. That's absolutely a miracle. I think this qualifies you for sainthood. The Matron Saint of Breakfast.

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  11. oh so cool that you have your Grandma's pins and broaches. so cool!

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  12. Patron saint of chickens? Impressive sounding...unsure.
    Patron saint of the double yokers...
    Patron saint of cholesterol chokers...
    Too many to pick from.

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    1. I know, I'm going to go with Patron Saint of Chicken McNuggets

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  13. Replies
    1. Yep. If Jesus hadn't risen from the grave, he'd be spinning in it right about now :D

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  14. It's a blessing, a sign from the Chicken Gods.

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    1. I've been blessed by the Chicken Gods! Wow, I feel really bad about that chicken fillet burger I had for lunch.

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