Friday, December 7, 2012

Say, you look an awful lot like...

I've never really understood the allure of the celebrity lookalike.

I mean seriously, paying someone because they just coincidentally bear a striking resemblance ... some more so than others ... to someone who's famous?  Nup, don't get it at all.

Take the British woman who has earned over three hundred thousand pounds pretending to be Britney Spears!  Seriously, that's like four hundred and fifty thousand dollars!  All for pretending to be, lets be honest, a semi washed up crazy woman.

And to be completely honest, there's really not that much of a resemblance if the photos in the article are to be believed.  Sweetie, just because you're blonde and you cut your hair like her, that doesn't mean you're her celebrity lookalike.  How on earth did you con anyone into paying you to attend their events!  Hell, I wouldn't pay the REAL Britney Spears twenty bucks to attend something I was hosting, let alone shell out thousands to someone who only looks a little bit like her ... at the right angle ... in the right light.

Of course, I seem to be in the minority.  If the sheer number of them is anything to go by, being a celebrity lookalike is a good job.  People pay you to pretend to be someone famous, and even then they're probably not expecting you to be any good at it.  After all, it's all about the novelty factor of your genetics.

Truthfully, there's only one celebrity lookalike I will admit to liking.  Did any of you hear about the Gordon Ramsay dwarf porn star?  No, seriously, there was a guy who suffered from dwarfism who was the spitting image of Gordon Ramsay, that really bad tempered TV chef.  And in what I can only call a breathtaking act of stereotyping, he decided to use that fact as his hook to get into the porn industry.

Unfortunately before his no doubt uber-successful porn career could really take off, he died under mysterious circumstances and his body was found in a badger den somewhere in Wales.

Yeah, I know it's bad form to laugh.  After all, a guy died.  But come on ... dwarf porn star ... badger den ... Gordon Ramsay ... I'm only human!

41 comments:

  1. I bet Gordon Ramsay killed him. Did he have a chef's knife in his back?

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    1. Ooh, you might be right! He's definitely got motive.

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  2. Lol, you couldn't make it up! Now if someone would point the real Gordon Ramsay towards the badger den.....

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    1. It's pretty bad when everyone would rather the dwarf lookalike porn star had survived.

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  3. Now this is a really weird story. I hope the badger is alright!

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    1. I'm guessing not, they found the body when they were gassing the badgers :(

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  4. I'm a horrible human being, because I laughed my ass off at the thought of a midget being found in a badger den.

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    1. Don't worry, you're not the only morally bankrupt person. I could barely hold myself up for laughing.

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  5. A badger den? How does one end up in a badger den under any circumstances?

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    1. That would be the question, wouldn't it. In my mind I have a whole Narnaiesque scenario going on.

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  6. OH uh uh, midget porn stars. No.
    The only impersonator I like is Harmik. You are welcome: http://www.tomjonesclone.com/

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  7. This post is Delightfully Ludicrous.

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  8. I don't know why I love Gordon Ramsay so much! That lookalike is hilarious!!

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    1. Gordon Ramsay kind of scares me. He's one of those people who's always angry for no apparent reason.

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  9. Kellie! great post! i wondered where it was going and you nailed it.

    frankly, i have never known that chef's name. i have deliberately avoided that show, 1. i can't stand chef / eating shows [i am not a cook and don't want to be a cook and can't stand watching others cook] and 2. i don't like mean people and when i see the ads/promos for that show they always show a scene where he is mad, rude or both. i specifically avoid mad or rude people in real life, so why would i tune it to one of my own choosing?

    there. my opinion and my take.

    i still loved your post and what you were getting at. always love your posts!!!

    ps. not cooking stems from an eating disorder as a teen. i eat now but still don't cook. 'cook' as in prepare big meals with detailed recipes, etc. i fix my food to eat; somehow isn't the same.

    i know, i'm weird. :D

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    1. The only cooking show I can stand is Nigella. I just love how she makes everything seem like sex. Hell, she could be deboning a chicken and she'd do it sensually. You can't help but admire that.

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  10. I think I could pass for George Clooney...from about 200 feet away...at night. Wonder how much that might be worth?

    S

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    1. LOL! Well you could always put yourself on the market and see what offers you get. But I'd be careful about advertising the "at night" bit, people might misunderstand what you were offering.

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  11. I bet all those people with dead-dwarf-celebrity-chef-in-badger-den fetishes are pretty stoked though. Sickos.

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  12. wow....just wow. Now on the subject of dwarfs and badgers... That.is.AWESOME. I peed a little laughing!

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    1. It's awful, isn't it! I laughed so hard, even though I'm pretty sure it makes me a bad person.

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  13. Now... THAT'S a mini me if I've ever saw one!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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  14. maybe it's gordon in the badger den and the maybe the little guy, with the help of shoe lifts and yoga, has been passing himself as the real thing.

    hi. found your blog through kate at nested. would love for you to visit me and follow if you like it.

    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

    thanks new follower bev
    ps i'm canadian

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    1. LOL! I hadn't thought of that! Maybe it was Gordon all along! Has anyone actually seen him lately?

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  15. I remember that story! Poor little guy. It's like Gordon's spirit animal died that day. I kind of look like Grape Ape, the terrible 80's cartoon character, think I could make some coin with that?

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    1. You could rent yourself out to children's parties ... although I believe there's a high risk of injury with that. Those little buggers are at just the right height for a groin shot.

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  16. You had me at dwarf porn star. I found another blogger last week who my husband, kids and I all agreed is the spitting image of me. I left her a comment to that effect. Never heard back. Do you think she's off having plastic surgery or entering the witness protection program?

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    1. You've got a blogging doppelganger! They say everyone has one somewhere in the world.

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  17. Hahahahaha that is so funny. I have a weird one for you....my best friend looks EXACTLY like my mom did at her age. Like you can actually hold up a photo of my mom and people think it's my friend.

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    1. Ooh, maybe she's like your long lost sister! Perhaps you should question your Mum about that!

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  18. The funny thing is that I consider Gordon Ramsey a celebrity look-a-like! I mean, isn't he impersonating a celebrity...or has our definition of celebrity really eroded that far?

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    1. LOL! I think he's impersonating a grumpy old bugger ... and doing a bang up job of it too.

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  19. The resemblance is uncanny! I think I look like Jennifer Aniston...kinda...in a badly lit room.

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  20. nice post..
    http://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com

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  21. What do you get when you cross a badger and a dwarf/Godon Ramsay look-a-like/porn star? Hopefully we won't find out 10 months from now. (Holy cow, look what you have done to me. I actually googled the gestation period of a badger.)

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  22. Oooh - I smell a cover up. And this is not shameless plug, but I want you to see you much my middle son looked like Eminem as a child:

    http://webandofmothers.blogspot.com/2012/02/real-slim-shady.html

    Don't read it, just scroll down to the pic.

    Here's hoping Jack doesn't grow up writing rap songs about how much he hates his mother.

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