Saturday, December 29, 2012

Does TIME Magazine really have the power to do that...

Apparently TIME Magazine now have the power to decide what words we can use and what ones we have to remove completely from our vocabularies.

Uhhh ... what the fuck?

And who, may I ask, gave you the power to do that, TIME Magazine?  I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of a bunch of list writing journalists deciding whether or not I'm allowed to use the sentence "His criticism of the latest mommy-porn novel was totes amazeballs".  I can't be restricted to your narrowly defined concept of the English language, TIME!  I'm a unique snowflake, and my language must reflect that!

Fascists!

Oh, who am I kidding, I completely agree that there are a few words out there that could stand to be removed from the font of human knowledge ... but not amazeballs.  Sometimes that's the only word I can find that truly describes the sheer awesomeness of something I'm watching/eating/reading/experiencing.  Don't take that away from me, TIME, I'm begging you!

Still, I think there are a few words you missed.

Moist:  Unless you're talking about a chocolate cake, the word moist only serves one purpose, and that seems to be to make me cringe.  It's just ... ugh, no.  Just no. 
Hipster:  Maybe if we just stop talking about them, they'll go away?  Sorry, I know it's mean of me, but I'm a fangirl.  We're the natural enemy of the hipster.  Kind of like the Roadrunner and Wile-E-Coyote (I'll leave it up to you to work out which is which). 
Blowback:  According to Wikipedia, the definition of this is "unintended consequences of a covert operation that are suffered by the civil population of the aggressor government".  But what I hear is "unintended consequences suffered by Bambi in the film Big Boobs IV when the 'money shot' went a little awry".   
Like:  Like, I hate it when, like, someone just, like, keeps putting the word like into, like, every sentence they say.  Don't you, like, hate that too? 
Gullible:  Come on, we all fell for that joke at least once in our childhoods.  Wouldn't you like to finally have sweet, sweet justice?  I know I would.

No, don't thank me TIME Magazine, I'm just doing your job for you.  You're welcome.

35 comments:

  1. Getting rid of "Like" would be amazeballs!


    did i use it correctly?

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    Replies
    1. Yep, you definitely used it correctly. Now we just have to hope they don't ban it so you can keep on using it.

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  2. I hate totes which my daughter says about twenty times a day just to annoy me; and It, like, really annoys me.

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  3. My male friend used totes the other day and I refrained from asking when he became a 12 year old girl. My how I've grown.

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    1. Your restraint is legendary. I don't think I'd have been able to stop myself from at least raising an eyebrow.

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  4. I must have missed that one - - Time Magazine dictating the dictionary?! Huh??

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    Replies
    1. I know! The berloody nerve!

      Sorry, went a bit Aussie there for a minute.

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  5. Damn magazines have been bossing me around for as long as I can remember! It's totes cray cray!
    Connie*

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  6. How can we have moist towelettes without the moist???

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  7. ha!!! "blowback" & "moist" just seem like they go "together." just sayin'

    take care, slu

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  8. Spent all last night wondering what totes means! Then sat up in bed and yelled out 'totally'! I hate it when you get inside my head, Kellie. X :)

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    Replies
    1. LOL! I hate it when that happens. It's always at 3 in the morning that the penny drops, too!

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  9. Totes should be burned at the stake by a coven of witches with the power to make things disappear from everyone's psyche. That or Phineas and Ferb need to handle this. I agree on moist. I can't say it without it sounding smutty unless it's about food and even then it depends on the food stuff. I like hipster and fan girl so that one I'm torn on. Blowback is just eww unless it's military esque. Either way I guess since they think their name is Time they think they control the world maybe.

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    1. Now I just have the vision of someone screaming "TOTES" being burnt at the stake!

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  10. My mother practically starts having a heart attack at the mention of the word 'moist,' whereas I just giggle like a 14 year old boy.

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    1. Well, we all have our coping mechanisms I suppose ;D

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  11. I hear you about moist. Yuck!

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    1. The only person who's ever been able to pull it off is Nigella Lawson, I think ... and no prize for guessing why.

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  12. Also 'panties' and gusset'. ERRRGH! And 'obligated' - the word is 'obliged'. So glad I'm not the only person who cares about this. Sarah xxx

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    1. Ugh, gusset! I hadn't even thought of that one, but you're totally right!

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  13. Gosh, I'm so innocent. I thought blowback was a druggy reference.

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    1. Perhaps it does! I'm not totally up on my drugs lingo.

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  14. I don't know, I looked at their list and I agree with almost all of them. Any shortening of any word should be banned. But it's kind of like (sorry) what you said, it's dangerous to start banning words. As much as I'd like to get rid of "couture" and "mucous" and phrases like "out of the box" and "synergy", RRRAAAWWWWWRRRR...sorry, I fell down a rage hole. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, maintain freedom, but also, allow every person one, consequence free punch-in-the-face per year to deal with people who talk in these gross terms. Pickleope 2013! Wait, there's no election I can run in? Drat.

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    Replies
    1. Huh, well that's an idea worth thinking about. I think one consequence free punch in the mush might just solve the problem and then we wouldn't have to ban words!

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  15. I am guilty for saying like all the time in conversations, I even annoy myself with it sometimes. I laughed at the last part of the post too, I've fallen for the gullible trick a few times.

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    1. I actually got so far as looking it up, that's how gullible I was :D

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  16. Jeez, who died and made TIME the Wordy Police? Good on you for your own recommendations.

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  17. Get an application in STAT. They, like, TOTALLY like need you there!

    xoxo The Hipster (;

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    Replies
    1. Hipster!

      *gives you the finger-cross and hisses*

      Nah, just kidding. Hipsters are people too ... or so I've heard ;P

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  18. I did see hipster on someone's list of words that should no longer be in use.

    I'm, like, totally, all, like for getting rid of like. As with, like, ending every statement as though it was, like, a question? Even when it is truly a declarative sentence?

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