Monday, July 8, 2013

Jeez Barbie, how do you stand on those things...

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Okay, I know this might come as a bit of a shock to some of you, so I'm going to try and break it to you gently ... it turns out that Ms Barbara Millicent Roberts, otherwise known as Barbie, doesn't exactly portray a realistic body type.

I know what you're all thinking.  "Kellie, say it isn't so!  Please reassure us that our beliefs of what a typical female body should look like aren't in fact based on a doll which, if she existed in real life, wouldn't even be able to support her own head!"

Sorry kids, no can do.  It turns out we're not actually supposed to have a waist the size of a bedpost, or heels that don't touch the ground, or weird non-specific genitalia and no nipples.

And were exactly are your nipples, Barbie?  It's freaking me out wondering what happened to them!

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But what would a realistic Barbie look like?  One artist decided to try to answer that question by building a "real" Barbie doll [link].  The result was a shorter doll with a much thicker waist, broader shoulders, larger thighs, and in my opinion a nicer face.

But the thing that surprised me the most?  The size of the feet.

Honestly, her feet were enormous!  Or maybe it'd be more accurate to say I'd never noticed how freakishly small Barbie's feet are.  We're talking easily half the size here.  Just think about that!  Look down at your feet and consider what it'd be like if they were only half that size.  Half as wide, half as long.  Can you imagine having to stand on feet like that?  Walk on them?

Oh Barbie, you creepy plastic blonde freak.  How is it possible for you to even stand up?

50 comments:

  1. Wouldn't she fall on her face a lot? That would be rough because she's so thin I doubt she'd have the strength to pick herself up. And is she ever going to dress her age? How old is she now? 55? 60?

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    1. Dear Lowandslow--What's your point? I'm 78 & I'm often mistaken for Barbie!!

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    2. I hear you Ducky. I'm often confused with George Burns. ;)

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    3. I'd say she'd break a hip if she fell, but I'm pretty sure she had them removed so her pants fit better.

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  2. I saw this yesterday! It's fascinating!

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    1. It's amazing when you actually see the comparison, isn't it.

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  3. I saw those photos too but never even noticed her feet! Thanks for pointing it out!

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    1. I hadn't thought of it before either until they were standing next to each other.

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  4. This is the first I am hearing of someone making a realistic barbie. On the plus side, maybe with a realistic barbie this whole idea what is beautiful (small waistline, big boobs ext) will not be so prominent with little girls ")

    xo
    Christina
    pieceitalltogetherx3.blogspot.com

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    1. Unfortunately it's unlikely the realistic doll would sell. People are just too used to the typical Barbie.

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  5. I never thought of Barbie having a last name.

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    1. I didn't know either but it's amazing what you can learn from Google ;D

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  6. Kellie my girl. Who wouldn't want to look like Barbie and have a boyfriend like Ken? For many years it was a dream of many young girls until they discovered eating. Then all of a sudden things didn't seem like they'd thought. The 'real' barbie doll image came to mind.

    Why don't we just be our real selves. Big footed, thick waisted, heavy thighs, hanging apron stomach, fake thick hair with hair growing in places I wouldn't dare to admit, and my list is endless. I ain't no Ken, and I don't want no Barbie. Take me or leave me, I'm the real deal.

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    1. To quote a Youtuber I subscribe to, I'd like to be thin but I really like cake.

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  7. But I LOVED playing with Barbie oh so many decades ago, and I never once thought I should look like her. It was just great to play imaginary games with a very pretty doll.

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    1. And no matter how creepy Barbie is when you really think about it, she's still not as terrifying as some of those awful porcelain dolls!

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  8. I had quite a large selection of Barbie dolls when i was 8. I loved her then. It never occurred to me to want a figure like hers. I never thought about stuff like that. I just liked her clothes. But she's completely unrealistic of course. But i didn't get that until i was in my 20s. And only then because it became a big deal that Barbie was giving young females bad body image. And she's a doll for goodness sake! The mutant ninja turtle 'action figures' aren't exactly realistic. Are they? :) But anyway, i'm rambling. I've no trouble with a revamped Barbie. But i think this whole thing matters to mothers far more than it does to their daughters...

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    1. I think maybe that's why I never cared that much about her, I was never into clothes. I'm still hopelessly lacking in fashion style to this day.

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  9. Forget what girls think of Barbie. I was active with Boy Scouts for many years and a lot of teenage guys seem to think girls really should have Barbie figures. Imagine my surprise whilst at a Detroit Piston basketball game when I heard the scouts talking about some size 4 (American) floor hostess as having 'thunder thighs'. The girl had legs like a piano and they still thought she was fat.

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    1. That's ridiculous! Things like that are the reason girls develop eating disorders.

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  10. When my daughter was young and into barbies, I asked her if she wanted to grow up and look like Barbie, and she said she was too skinny and that was why she dressed her in big fluffy dresses to fatten her up!
    Gosh I did something right with such a great attitude right?

    The women in my family are way too short to ever look like Barbie anyhow - hahahaha

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  11. Just as they have health warnings on cigarette packets (at least here in the UK) they should also put an abridged version of your post on doll boxes. My daughter is still convinced, and horrified at the thought that Photoshop might play any part in women's fashion magazines. And as for her dolls, well don't even go there.

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    1. Oh god, photoshopping is a topic all on it's own! It's ridiculous how even the attractive people don't look like themselves in photos anymore.

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  12. I've heard about the Barbie proportions myth. Did you know there is actually a woman that got plastic surgery to look like Barbie...she looks creepy...

    You just have to be happy with who you are because you cant be anyone else.

    http://diaryofatrendaholic.blogspot.ca/

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    1. That sounds like an awful lot of money and pain to go through just to look like a doll! Oh well, it takes all kinds I guess.

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  13. Wow, those feet and the neck!! Were did her neck go?

    The way I see it, parent's shouldn't be worried about their kids wanting to look like barbies. Now there is Bratz and similar things. Those scare me much more than Barbie ever did.

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  14. Barbie never had to stand on her own two feet. She has always been supported by the adoring hands of little girls in the process of developing self-image issues.

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  15. Mattel and Barbie have alot to answer for I think.
    And don't even get me started on Ken..........dont.even.

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    1. I'd imagine his dimensions are just as ridiculous.

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  16. No only are her feet small, but don't you think she'd get tired from always walking on her toes? They are constantly in a pointed position for ease of wearing high heels!

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  17. Hi Lovely! Love your awesome blog.
    I'm your newest follower from Blog Hop. Followed you via Bloglovin'.
    Feel free to visit, leave comments and follow me @ www.revampspunkyrena.com
    xoxo
    Rena

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  18. Found you through The Collective hop. I saw this article on Cosmo's site the other day and had similar reactions... nice to know I'm not alone in wondering what happened to make our girly childhood friend such a disproportionate freak, especially when she was portrayed as the popular girl in school. I'll be following on bloglovin' for some more delightfully ludicrous info!!

    -Lauren @ goingreenjourney.blogspot.com

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  19. I always preferred Sindy to Barbie, she just seemed more British and approachable. My brother's action man seemed to prefer Sindy's curves as well

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  20. So for all of the people wanting to BE Barbie, because the b!tch has everything- apparently she doesn't in some respects. How about that woman who has undergone all of those surgeries to make her more like Barbie? I think she's a bit thick.

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    1. It must be so frustrating for her though, because it's impossible to look like Barbie. Like, physically impossible! She'll spend all that money and time, and she's never going to get to where she wants.

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  21. I always wondered about her feed, but jaysus her neck looks small on the realistic barbie, also man she is toned! Va Va Voom..

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    1. A lot of people have said that about realistic Barbie's neck. I suppose in comparison it does look short.

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  22. The other day, my daughters and I were discussing the Barbie photo you posted. My girls are of the opinion that dolls don't have to look real. That's half the fun. Playing with a realistic Barbie with big feet who isn't unnaturally beautiful just wouldn't be the same. They know the difference between imaginary play and real life, and not one of them yearns to be Barbie. Funny how a doll has generated so much controversy over the years.

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    1. That's true, sometimes the fantasy is what we want, not the reality.

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  23. interesting post! im now following you via gfc & bloglovin through the 'weekly wednesday blog hop' and id love it if you could check out my blog sometime?

    rainbowsandbeauty.blogspot.com xx

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  24. I took one of my Barbies (and yes it really was mine I played with as a kid, but now my daughter has them), and did some measurements on her foot to scale it up to human size. And yes, that one was like having a built in 4" heel. So if Barbie is going to be more realistic, she should have lots of bumps and bruises from twisting her ankle and falling because she's walking with 4" heeled feet 24/7.

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    1. Not to mention the leg cramps! If I held my feet like that 24/7 my calves would be constantly cramping up.

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