The difference between victims and survivors...

I read stories about rape and sexual assault all the time.  It is, unfortunately, a part of our world.

Usually I read, shake my head sadly, then move on.  As important as they might be, I really don't have anything worthwhile to say about them.  Rape is awful and horrible and despicable and people who do it deserve to have their bits chewed off by rabid squirrels, I think we can all agree on that one.

But I had to pause at the article I read today and give it a second look [link].

Not because it was any different to the myriad of other rape case news articles, in fact it was pretty much the same thing.  Man attacks woman trying to kidnap her, rape her and murder her.  Luckily woman gets away and man get arrested.  All pretty straight forward.

But that's not what got my attention.  What I focused on almost immediately was the mug shot of the guy that was included in the article.

He looked like he'd gone seven rounds with a feral cat ... and lost.

I don't know the details of what he did to that poor woman but, if his face is anything to go by, it certainly looks like she put up a good fight.  It must have been terrifying, but she managed to scratch up his face like nobody's business.  I'd imagine he'll have a hard time if he tries to claim it was consensual.

I can't help thinking it's the perfect reminder that women and men who've been raped aren't just victims ... they're survivors and battlers ...

... and, if that picture is anything to judge by, rather vicious fighters.

Gosh, Miss Merryweather, shall we go for a bicycle ride in the countryside *nudgenudgewinkwink*...

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Finally!  It's taken over a hundred years, but our god given right as women to have orgasms while cycling has been returned to us.  Huzzah!

Many of you might not know this but back in the early days of bicycling, when cycling tours were all the rage and Mr Chips type characters would pedal around the countryside having picnics with young ladies while wearing three piece suits and bowler hats, bike seats were a little bit ... different.  A woman would have more reason to go out cycling than to get from point A to point B, and it generally involved the letter O.

But then the modesty police got involved.  Scandal!  How dare women be roaming around the countryside having orgasms willy nilly.  Only men were suppose to be able to find sexual gratification.  What next, women deciding that they didn't need men after all as long as they had the early 1900's equivalent of a 10 speed?  Wanting the vote?  Wanting equal pay for equal work?  Outrageous!

So the evil bicycle manufacturers created what they called a "hygienic" bike seat for ladies.  Apparently hygienic translates to "nowhere near as much fun", so ladies had to say goodbye to their fresh air, exercise and copious quantities of orgasms.

But now a UK sex toy company as decided it's time to right that century old wrong, bless their hearts, by creating a new product they call "The Happy Ride" [link].  For the bargain price of thirty seven bucks you can become the proud new owner of a vibrating bicycle seat which is equipped with multiple speed settings.  They do warn though that it gives off a "light humming" sound when in use.

Then again, what with the sound of traffic all around you I doubt anyone would notice.

I'm not sure what this will mean for road safety or bicycle related accident statistics, but right now I'm having a hard time caring.  It's a freaking vibrating bike seat, people!

What a wonderful time to be alive!

Jeez Barbie, how do you stand on those things...

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Okay, I know this might come as a bit of a shock to some of you, so I'm going to try and break it to you gently ... it turns out that Ms Barbara Millicent Roberts, otherwise known as Barbie, doesn't exactly portray a realistic body type.

I know what you're all thinking.  "Kellie, say it isn't so!  Please reassure us that our beliefs of what a typical female body should look like aren't in fact based on a doll which, if she existed in real life, wouldn't even be able to support her own head!"

Sorry kids, no can do.  It turns out we're not actually supposed to have a waist the size of a bedpost, or heels that don't touch the ground, or weird non-specific genitalia and no nipples.

And were exactly are your nipples, Barbie?  It's freaking me out wondering what happened to them!

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But what would a realistic Barbie look like?  One artist decided to try to answer that question by building a "real" Barbie doll [link].  The result was a shorter doll with a much thicker waist, broader shoulders, larger thighs, and in my opinion a nicer face.

But the thing that surprised me the most?  The size of the feet.

Honestly, her feet were enormous!  Or maybe it'd be more accurate to say I'd never noticed how freakishly small Barbie's feet are.  We're talking easily half the size here.  Just think about that!  Look down at your feet and consider what it'd be like if they were only half that size.  Half as wide, half as long.  Can you imagine having to stand on feet like that?  Walk on them?

Oh Barbie, you creepy plastic blonde freak.  How is it possible for you to even stand up?