Saturday, July 6, 2013

A whole new spin on the term loveseat...

Source
I do love a tale of star-crossed lovers fighting against the forces that keep them apart.  Romeo and Juliet, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, Buffy and Angel, who doesn't enjoy a good angsty romance?

So I think that's why I find myself sympathizing with Gerard Streator, the Wisconsin man who takes "cushion pushin" in a whole other direction.

Mr Streator was sentenced to five months jail the other day for having "intimate relations" with a couch someone had left on the footpath [link].  Honestly, just because his paramour was not a traditional partner, was that any reason to put a harsh on his mojo?  I mean, it's just rude to interrupt a man mid couch-coitus.

Okay, so maybe there problem wasn't so much that he was getting funky with a couch, but that he was doing it in public.  I'm pretty sure that if Mr Streator had wanted to have romantic candle lit interludes with his sofa in the privacy of his own home, no one would have questioned it ... or at least no one would have arrested him for it.

But instead he chose to do it in public on the street, so I suppose the police can be forgiven for taking offence.

In addition to the jail sentence, Mr Streator has been fined $243 to cover court costs and, something which seems odd to me, banned from owning pornography.  Seriously?  Completely banned?  That seems overly harsh.  I mean, this really was a victimless crime ... at least, as long as you don't count the people who had to watch his bare ass bouncing up and down.  I'll admit that they may have suffered a bit.

But banning him from owning pornograhy seems overkill to me.  And really, does an IKEA brochure count as porn anyway?

52 comments:

  1. Humping a homeless sofa? How rude!! LOL

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  2. You just never know what you will see. I am a new follower from Aloha Friday. Have a great weekend. Enjoyed the post, very unique.

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  3. I did a post on this when it initially happened and the picture of the couch in question led me to think the couch had been used and abused prior to Mr. Streator taking liberties with her. (we can assume the couch was a girl..I think).

    The no-porn ban does seem excessive. You might have a point...his idea of porn might be the Ethan Allen Catalog. So many strange things in our world, huh?

    Have a great weekend, Kellie!

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    1. I'm sure he'll find a way around it. I hardly think they're going to raid his house in the middle of the night looking for pictures of sofas.

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  4. Sexual activities in public are a no-no, but I have to agree that the porn ban seems ridiculous. It's like when a friend of mine got a DUI and was banned from using alcohol for two years. I mean, I sort of understand where they're trying to go with it, but it just seems like overkill and unenforceable.

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    1. How on earth would they be able to tell if they'd been drinkin? Random breath tests?

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  5. How do you enforce something like that anyway? Are they going to check his home for copies of Better Homes and Gardens every month?

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    1. "Put your hands up and step away from the home decorating brochures!"

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  6. So, his Happy Hump Day turned out not so Happy??? Don't you just hate it when that happens???

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    1. I guess that's what happens when you indulge your exhibitionism.

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  7. That's why I only do such things in the privacy of my own home!!

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  8. Funny post! I found you via the Aloha Blog hop! Now I'm following you. :) Stop by and say hi.


    http://jayhawkmom.blogspot.com/

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  9. Man, some people's kids!

    Thanks for the compliment on my turquoise heels. Actually, those are not high at all. Just right is that height. The taller ones I have are belly crunching high. hahahahha (what's that? You have to suck your belly in as you walk so it is more graceful - and helps on the waistline, that I have as my problem area, yes!)

    Next time you wear heels, for a wedding or something, suck your belly in and see how that works.

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  10. Wow, I have heard of loving your couch but not 'loven' your couch. At it wasn't even his!

    And the no porn...that really has me puzzled also.

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    1. LOL! It's a tale of forbidden love between a boy and his couch.

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  11. Wow! I somehow missed this. Or maybe I read it and was just so traumatized my mind blocked it out.

    S

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  12. Geez, did the law dogs even ask the couch if it wanted to press charges? What if the couch was beggin' for it????? Bet the poor guy didn't even get to face his accuser in court.

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    1. And do you think they'll find a couch psychologist to help it recover from the trauma?

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  13. Who gets to decide what is porn and what isn't. Even the Supreme Court has passed on this one.

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    1. Good point. It's a whole lot of shades of grey, fifty of them even ;P

      Sorry, couldn't resist.

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  14. Banned from owning porn? I think the guy needs help, not restrictions -- he's obviously tired of the couch he has at home. I think that's a death sentence to many men. That was too harsh of a crime. Then again, this is Wisconsin we're talking about (I'm from a neighboring state). Love your spin on our news!

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    1. I just love that the weirdos keep doing stuff like this for me to write about :D

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  15. He did promise to take the couch to dinner.

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    1. I hope the couch held out at least until the third date!

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  16. Jeezus, this guy should be REQUIRED to own pornaography. Anything that gets his sexual energies out at home instead of couch-fucking in public places.

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    1. You'd think they'd make it compulsory for him, wouldn't you.

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  17. That is hilarious and I think I love you. Lol

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  18. If you're gonna be arrested, might as well be for couch sex. That's what my mom always said anyway...

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. I'm guessing that the "Birds and the bees" talk with your mother was an interesting one.

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  19. Awww yeah, did you see that couch? All cushiony and soft, it was begging for it. Where did he...uh...put it? Also, if he can't own porn, can he at least rent porn? And shouldn't they force him to have more porn so that he gets all his jollies out in the safety of his own home? Also, I will now never buy a used couch. Ever.

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    1. Personally I think he should get free porn, just to make sure.

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  20. Did anyone bother to ask the loveseat how it felt about this whole debacle?

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    1. I'd imagine it felt used and violated. He didn't even buy it dinner first!

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  21. Ewww hadn't thought about the second hand sofa thing...new for me from now on...but then what if someone on a lonely night shift in the sofa factory get aroused by the shiny new padding and gives in to their feelings. I'll sit on the floor I think

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    1. Okay, now I'm thinking I'll have to learn how to make furniture.

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  22. Thanks a bunch for the follow back on Bloglovin'; appreciate it :o) Hope you're having a wonderful weekend!

    - croppedstories@gmail.com
    http://www.croppedstories.blogspot.com

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  23. OMG, that is hilarious. Is this real? I know it is, but it's so stupid. Thanks for the giggles.

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  24. It brings appropriate meaning to "love seat." Love whoever you want, just be careful where.

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    1. I suppose we shouldn't judge, we can never understand the love a man has for his couch.

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