Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Jesus lady, why can't you pretend your son doesn't have a sex life like a normal person...

Source
I'm sure we've all had experience with those parents who are just a little TOO involved in their kid's lives.  You know the ones, they not only know all the intimate details of their child's life, but have no qualms about telling said child exactly what they should or shouldn't do despite the fact that they're pretty much an adult.  And woe betide the poor kid if he doesn't instantly obey.  He's looking down the barrel of the mother of all guilt trips.

But this woman, bless her, has taken the creepy overbearing mother schtick to a whole other place [link].

Worried that she was sending her son off to Harvard without any sexual experience, this candidate for Mother Of The Year decided that the best option was to place an ad on Craigslist looking for someone to devirginise her darling boy.  Huh ... I don't know if that actually qualifies her for best or worst parent ever.

But don't worry, it's not like Mum was just going to bring a girl home and then shove them both in a room together with a bottle of Asti Spumanti and a Marvin Gaye CD.  Oh no, she had a plan!  She bought four tickets to a concert and planned to give two to her son, the other two going to the lucky lady.  Then said lucky lady would be expected to woo, win, and do the dirty with the unknowing lad.

I'm not entirely sure how Mommy Dearest expected to find out if the girl had gone through with it.  Most teenage boys don't celebrate losing their V card by rushing home to tell their mother all about it.  Maybe she was going to go to use the honor system.  Given how creepy the rest of this story is, I'm not sure I want to know if she had other plans.

But what was in it for the girl other than fumbling sex with an inexperienced and possibly socially awkward boy, you ask?  Well the final line of the ad hinted at what the girl's reward would be.

"Please put your favorite type of car in the subject, to show you're real."

It might be creepy and it might be weird, but with an incentive like that I bet the offers are still coming in.

45 comments:

  1. There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. Who is to say what the kid's experience is. Maybe he is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).

    Nothing like a little public humiliation to get him in the mood to reach out to the ladies.

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    1. You'd have to hope that if she'd been successful he'd have never found out.

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  2. That boy is going to be disturbed his whole life...I'm disturbed just reading about it.

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    1. He's definitely going to have issues. Well, more issues than he probably already has given his mother.

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  3. shes not a helicopter parent... shes a DRONE MOM!!!! ack...

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  4. DANG, I'm too old to apply and at my age I enjoy a quickie, which is what it would be with a virgin. Pus, my car is on its last leg. :(

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    1. Yeah, I think a lot of people would be up for it for the opportunity of a new car.

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  5. I know most of your readers are saying, "Ewwww....that's just SO wrong." But there are probably more than a few (guys) who are thinking. "Wow! Dream mom!." But of course I'm not one of them. Yeah, I'll go with that. ;)

    S

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  6. Now he can blame Mom for performance anxiety and she can pay for his lifetime supply of Viagra.

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    1. I think she's going to have a hard enough time paying for the therapy, to be honest.

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  7. Some people are just not fit to have children.

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    1. It's definitely going to hurt her Mother Of The Year nomination.

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  8. Give him a ticket to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

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  9. The possibility of my becoming mother of the year gets more realistic everyday with crazies like this!

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    1. Yeah, I think she sacrificed her spot with this one.

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  10. This tops my list as down right CREEPY WEIRD. I'm not sure why, but the over protective are really hiding something, I fear.

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    1. Yeah, I'm not sure I even want to understand the psychology behind it.

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  11. The kid's what? 17, and he's going off to college where there a thousands of young virginal girls just ripe for the picking.

    For the love of God, let him be. Some young people mature into adults and don't have sex for all kinds of reason. They never find someone to be with. Are turned off by the opposite sex, see what their mates are going through and decide they don't want to go through that either.

    Let the poor bastard do it in his own time and stop being an overbearing mother for fuck's sake!

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    1. It really is a horrible thing to do to the poor kid, isn't it.

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  12. Sounds like something my mother in law would do.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. Hmm, did Eddie's mother buy you a car by any chance?

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  13. Quite frankly this is just plain weird!

    Kate x
    Kate at Home

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  14. I thought you were going to say that SHE "devirginized" him.
    Oh. My. I think I just learned something about myself for even thinking that.
    Gotta go clear the History on my computer, stat!

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  15. Creepy and weird doesn't even begin to cover it. Icky, yucky and my skin is crawling. I wish I could say that this is the worst or first time I've eve heard of anything this grotesque, but something similar occurred in my local area about five years ago, but it was the father who did the intervening or "pimping", as the media labeled it. Call me a male chauvinist (or not since I'm female), but for whatever odd reason, this strange and unusual parental intervention did not seem quite as disturbing to me when initiated by the father. Please do not get me wrong, It is outright gross, either way, but somehow , a mom, advertising for someone to devirginize her little (grown) boy just raises the ick factor.

    In my area a father, an attorney, was arrested for hiring a very pretty, sexy, stripper to befriend his socially awkward thirty year old, son who he believed was still a virgin. He paid said girl an undisclosed amount to strike up a friendship with his son and allow the relationship to develop naturally. I guess papa bear wanted an expedited "natural " romance because he required the deed to commence within one week. The reason the little arrangement made news is because something went terribly wrong after the relationship was consummated. The socially awkward boy (I suppose I should refer to him as a man, given his age) fell in love with the beautiful stripper and didn't handle the faux breakup very well and began following her around. It escalated to the point of stalking and the stripper, aka pretend girlfriend demanded that the lawyer make it stop and she also want more money as compensation for the stalking. The lawyer refused to pay and the girl blabbed to the socially awkward guy about the deal arranged by his dad. The dad was arrested for promoting prostitution, but the charges were later dropped when the D.A.' office was either unable to locate the girl or she was unwilling to cooperate in the investigation. The father claimed that he did nothing wrong and that it was no different than what other people do as incentive for arranging blind dates. He even compared his action to online dating services.

    So yes, this story is a bit different. The public opinion in my area was spilt. Many were outraged, but just as many claimed that fathers' introducing their sons to their first sexual encounter was an age old passage of something -can't remember any of the exact quotes that the paper printed. Both stories bother me, but the mom's add on craiglist is just too much. It leaves me wondering how in the hell mommy knows that baby was still a virgin and worse, why she feels comfortable enough to intervene. Anyone out there think that the reason Harvard boy is still a virgin has something to do with dominating mommy with no boundaries?

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    1. Oh wow, now that's what I'd call a cautionary tale! Maybe that mother should have read about it first!

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  16. Oh my..lol

    New fan from Meet & Greet Blog Hop
    powersofloveetsy.blogspot.com

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  17. When I lose my V card, I'll rush home to tell my Momma all about it. I'm sure she can't wait. Yep, in my story, the son is like the Momma in yours.

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  18. What can your head be like to think this is a good idea??

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  19. Just.... ew. I'm pretty sure my mom would be content to think I am still a virgin, and always will be as for as she is concerned. Just like I know she only had sex three times in her life for the purpose of procreation only, of course.

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