Monday, July 15, 2013

I'm pretty sure that dentistry isn't an inherited trait...

Source
Drunk people aren't really known for their sound judgement.  I think we can all agree on that.

God knows, I have no room to judge.  I've done plenty of things I'm not overly proud of when I was "three sheets to the wind", but I think I can pretty safely say I've never done something so stupid as this guy [link] who thought it would be a brilliant idea to pull out some kid's loose tooth.

And not even a kid he knew, just some random child he saw in a park who was worrying the tooth with his tongue!  He just marched over and yanked that tooth out of that kid's head without so much as a by-your-leave.

I know drunk people have poor impulse control, but who on earth even has the impulse to pull out kid's teeth in the first place?  Is he a reincarnated Spanish Inquisition torturer?  A frustrated tooth fairy wannabe?

Although if I had to guess I'd say his blood alcohol level of 0.2% was the deciding factor.

But the best part of this story was his excuse when the cops arrested him.  Apparently he thought that he was perfectly entitled to practice amateur dentistry on non-consenting children because he came from a long line of dentists so he, and I quote, "knew what (he) was doing".  Yep that's right, he decided that just because his father an grandfather were dentists, that entitled him to practice without a license ... in a public park ... on a kid he just picked out randomly.

Oh dude, somehow I don't think the judge is going to buy that old chestnut.

43 comments:

  1. Ahh stupid is as stupid does and this fool was stupid.

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  2. Stupid, but funny as hell, unless, of course, you're the kid with the mouth full of blood!

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    1. If I was that kid's mother I'd have been furious. Imagine some drunk guy just wandering up and ripping your kid's tooth out.

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  3. Yikes! I'm glad his father and grandfather weren't heart surgeons.

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    1. I was going to say Proctologists.

      Oh...I just did!

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    2. LOL! That would have been an entirely different article.

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    1. It's the best anti-drinking advert I've ever seen ;D

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  5. He would have done better to go with the "I'm the Tooth Fairy" defence.

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    1. LOL! Probably. At least then he would have had a shot at an insanity plea.

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  6. This made my teeth itch! Yaaagh

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  7. Disorderly conduct??? What kind of charge is that? That doesn't sound harsh enough. AND what was the mother thinking letting this guy near enough to her kid to pull out a tooth?

    I come from a long line of farmers but have yet to borrow anyone's combine. I didn't know professions were inherent. Now that I know, I am going out to find me a really big tractor to drive.

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    1. It is scary that a drunk guy got close enough to him and the mother never noticed.

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  8. My dad and all my brothers were in the Royal Navy so I'm going to get drunk and sink other people's boats.

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  9. My father is a lawyer and sometimes I find myself doling out legal advice that is generally inaccurate and also made-up.

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    1. Wow, it's almost like a legal ancestry doesn't qualify you to practice law! Unthinkable!

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  10. The kid was arrested for ....what? exactly?

    Is teeth pulling a crime or does it just come under assault?

    He wouldn't be the first kid to yank a tooth out although that's usually a kid yanking HIS OWN teeth out and not someone else's.

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    1. Ah, but it wasn't a kid who pulled the tooth, it was a rather drunk adult.

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  11. I wish there was video of that. It would be horrifying and hilarious. You know in his drunk mind he thought he was going to be hailed as a hero and people were going to carry him around that park on their shoulders. That kid, by the way, will forever be afraid of anyone getting near his mouth. Good luck with the gum disease, kiddo.

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    1. I don't envy his mother the next time he has to go to the dentist!

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  12. Bastard ! Traumatizing a kidlet like that.

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    1. I'd imagine that's one kid who will have a phobia about dentists.

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  13. What an ass! That is some nerve!!!

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  14. I come from a military family, so next time I get drunk I'm gonna go invade a bunch of countries! P.S. New follower, saying hi :)

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  15. My great ancestor was a relatively famous Spanish explorer, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go steal a boat and sail it across the Atlantic. I've never even been on a boat, but I'm sure driving one is easy, especially if it's in my blood.

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    1. LOL! And you never know, you might discover a previously unknown island!

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  16. I do love these weird news stories you share. :)

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  17. Oh my goodness, don't you just wonder about people sometimes? I would have loved to know what he was thinking at the moment he decided to do that.

    Heidi’s Wanderings

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  18. No one believes me but when I was in infant school one of our lunchtime supervisors used to line us up and check for loose teeth. If you had an that were close to coming out, she would yank them out!!!! They were simpler times : S

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  19. Oh. My. God. That poor little kid. People are insane.

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  20. What a horrible person! How awful for the child!

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  21. Well, at least he has a good story to tell people now.

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  22. Wow.. I'm surprised the kid's parents didn't beat the shit outta' the guy because I would have! What a jackass...

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  23. That is hilarious, minus the whole... oral assault on a random child. More the guy's crazed claim, and the fact he probably honestly believes it was sound reasoning.

    We used to have a section called News of the Weird in our paper, but I've not read the paper in ages. I wonder if it still exists... This would have been a headline.

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

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