Friday, September 7, 2012

If you like it then you shoulda faked your own death and THEN put a ring on it...

Are you in an unhealthy relationship with a controlling, domineering partner?

Not sure?  Well, Dr Kellie is here to help you determine whether your darling sweetie snookums love-muffin might, in fact, be a bit of a psycho.  I've compiled a list of handy questions that should make it obvious whether you're in a healthy, sane relationship, or whether you should go running for the hills.


  • Does your partner try to control who you see, what you do, how much you spend or what you wear?
  • Does you partner ever snap for no reason, then attempt to spin things to make his/her unexplained anger your fault?
  • Does your partner suggest or insinuate that you're not attractive/smart/good enough and you're lucky to have him/her?
  • Has your partner ever called you up to arrange a lunch date and then orchestrated a fake car accident, putting fake blood all over themselves and hiring actors to play onlookers, cops and emergency workers?  Then did they get the fake emergency workers tell you that they died in the crash while they lie in the middle of the road holding your breath?  Then did they pop up like the proverbial daisy and propose to you while you're having a nervous breakdown about seeing your partner lying dead in the street?


If you answered yes to any of these you could be in a toxic relationship.  If you answered yes to the last one, you're probably that poor girl in Russia whose boyfriend thought that this was the perfect way to pop the question.

I'm not entirely sure what made him think this was a good idea.  I mean, sure, I'm a sucker for angst, but there's a world of difference between watching something like this in a soap opera and having it played out in your own life.  I also like slasher films, doesn't mean I want a serial killer to come visiting!

When asked why he did it, his reply was "I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me".  Oh yeah, he's a real prince.  Sweetie, do you really want to marry the guy who thought that the best way to ask you was to do the melodramatic grown up version of holding his breath until he turns blue?

But whether you think it was a completely manipulative, underhanded and sick way of emotionally blackmailing someone into marrying you or not, it worked.  She said yes.

I guess some girls are just attracted to psycho.

51 comments:

  1. She sounds as crazy as him! Surely common sense should be telling her to say, NO!

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    1. You'd think so, wouldn't you. But he is rich so maybe that explains it

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  2. In the artical it says he's a wealthy business man. Maybe she was sad he died cause he wouldn't get all his money, and maybe she agreed to marry him so when he dies for real next time she WILL get all his money!

    But if he was a poor man that did that, I think she'd just say no! You know what they say: A poor man who is odd is Crazy/weird! And a rich man who is odd is Eccentric!

    But yes, I agree! Some girls just like psychos!... and then they have kids with them!

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    1. You're right, maybe she just wants to get the will secured before his next attempt, invade it sticks next time!

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  3. Boy the times are changing aren't they? What happened to the days where you dated for awhile and got to know the other person before saying "I Do"? I personally know a guy who dated a girl for three weeks and they eloped. A month after he realized she had so many personalities he never knew who he was coming home from work to. :/ IDK call me old fashioned, but I think s lot of ppl are jumping in too fast. Great Post!

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    1. My rule is never marry someone you've known less than six months ... unless you're drunk in Vegas or there's a gypsy curse involves somehow.

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  4. "You're not dead? Then yes, I'll marry you!" So romantic. Now watch when he really dies, and this girl is like, "Yeah, nice try, prankster. You can't fool me twice."

    Also, am I crazy or does your blog say it was posted Friday the 7th? How are you posting from the future?

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    1. That's because I have a time machine in he back yard ... or because I'm in Australia so it's a different time zone :)

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  5. What is wrong with people? I blame the mother. I ALWAYS blame the mother.

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  6. What.The.Fudgesicle????

    Fakedeathandblood! For when getting down on one knee just ain't enough.

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    1. For when you need that extra layer of emotional manipulation.

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  7. Sounds like the beginning of unhappily ever after.

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    1. It's going to be hard to explain to their kids how he proposed. "Well, darlings, Daddy staged a fake road accident and then I agreed to marry him because I was just so relieved he was alive instead of a squished little spot on the road."

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  8. my last relationship was just plain Crazy Town.. What a weirdo. Now, I'm happy and SO damned glad I broke that shit off let me tell you! I'm pretty sure he did fake crazy stuff all the time just for attention, one night he came home with this ridiculous story about how some nut followed him to his brother's house, and then jumped him. Yet there was no blood on him when he got home, even though he said it was everywhere, no grass stains, or dirt, even though he said they were tussling on the ground, and only his shirt was a little ripped, and he barely had a swollen eye. Which I still maintain he gave himself. See? Weirdo!!

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  9. What a complete idiot that dude is! Well, maybe not completely idiotic, cuz she did say yes. I kind of want to laugh, but I probably shouldn't, right?

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    1. I'm guessing her saying yes had more to do with his bank balance than anything. At least, I have to hope so.

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  10. Those first three bullet points could also describe my kids. That probably means they are psycho too. But to be honest, this is no surprise.

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    1. Being psycho isn't necessarily a bad thing. Some of the best people out there are psycho. Hell, I'm a god damned raving lunatic, and I think I'm pretty swell!

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  11. What a world; I think they deserve each other. Dumb and dumber, for sure.

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    1. I suppose we can look at it that way. If she marries him, she's saving some other poor, easily manipulated girl.

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  12. I would have kicked his sorry ass to the curb! what a jerk. Later in their marriage I'm sure her big fantasy will be that it actually had happened.

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    1. He certainly seems to be in need of a good butt whooping. I don't know if I'd have been able to restrain myself from firmly planting my boot in his backside.

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  13. Just wait until he "stages" an elaborate orgy to show her that she's not putting out enough.

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    1. Now THAT'S an over the top display I could get behind ... or underneath ... or on top of...

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  14. Many strange things happen out there and I am so glad I can recognize them for what they are. And you, too! I loved the way you wrote this. I am wondering who are those types of gals that seek that stuff? They are partly psycho, too, aren't they?

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    1. You'd have to hope so! I'd hate to think a sane girl agreed to marry him!

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  15. I think there's a question you forgot in that list.

    Has your partner recently been possessed by an alien species and is trying to use their newly acquired technological supremacy to become an evil overlord?

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    1. *facepalm*

      I knew I was overlooking something obvious!

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  16. Okay, I am now officially rendered speechless. It would seem that psycho is the new sexy. Actually the funniest thing about that article, are the comments underneath.

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  17. Wow. And she said yes!? Wow. Can't imagine what surprises he'll have for her at the wedding!

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    1. I'm guessing either ninja's repelling down the side of the church to break through the stained glass windows, or Sarcastic Ninja's idea of a staged orgy!

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  18. She should get him back on the wedding night by actually killing him for his life insurance. Just a thought... ;o)

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. Well, the article did say he was rich, maybe she wasn't as silly as we're assuming.

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  19. Not too full of himself, is he? He must be a riot at parties.

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    1. I don't even want to think about what he's like on April Fools!

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  20. Hello Kellie:
    Well, we have to confess that we are slightly, just ever so slightly, attracted to the strange, the odd, the misfit or the psychopath. Perhaps that is how we stumbled into the Blogosphere?!!!!!

    We have found your delicious and delightful blog via the lovely Tracey at 'Breathing English Air' and we have so enjoyed ourselves looking around. Such a dry sense of humour and a wonderfully original way of viewing the world. We are hooked and have Followed. We shall be back....be afraid....be very afraid!!!!!!

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    1. The more the merrier! All those of a kooky nature are welcome here!

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  21. oh my gosh! i heard about this. and was wondering what was going through both of their heads!

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  22. Wow. That's crazy. And yes, by the way... my husband is a control freak. He's finding there are things that are not to be controlled about me though.. lol so he's dealing with that. This was a great post!

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    1. It's a lesson they all have to learn eventually, I'm sure your husband will come around to accepting that he has absolutely no control whatsoever :D.

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  23. My husband isn't controlling at all, if he were there would be no way for us to be together! He's a wonderful man!
    I think those two people are crazy...perfect for one another! LOL

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