Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Does it taste like chicken...

I suppose it's my own fault. I'm the one that voluntarily sat down in front of that television set at midday and turned onto a channel I knew would have a movie on. There's no one else to blame for the emotional scars.

A bunch of pioneers, all of them talking earnestly about how they needed to get to California. I expected the usual drama and angst. The odd person falling off a precipice, an Indian attack or two, just the usual.  But I wasn't prepared for what it turned into.

About three quarters of an hour into the film the band of people split up into two, one group going one way and another going a more risky route. When they named themselves the Donner Party, cold dread filled my heart. I couldn't remember why I knew that name, but I knew it wasn't because they went on a rollicking road trip adventure that resulted in life lessons learned and unbreakable vows of friendship.

As the movie progressed, I began to get a few clues as to why the name sounded so familiar. Snow, blizzards, trapped in a cabin, nothing to eat. Oh my god! This was the story about that group who had to turn to cannibalism to survive!

But it was too late to switch off. I was already trapped in the film. I had to see the end otherwise I'd always wonder how it finished. So I sat there for another hour watching as they got snowed in, slowly starved, then chowed down on their dead friend like he was a Happy Meal.

The fact that it was based on a true story, that it actually happened, is bad enough. But why did I have to live through it via a badly acted midday movie?

Haven't I suffered enough?

60 comments:

  1. I couldn't take it any more when they revealed they didn't have any cream gravy or condiments. I mean....Eeewwwwww! ;)

    S

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  2. It doesn't taste like chicken. It tastes like beef, but very, very sweet. So sweet in fact that most people vomit when they first try human flesh.

    Before you go calling the police, I had to research this for our zombie book. And let's just say that that little fact never really leaves you. So... enjoy?

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    1. Oh jeez, that's uber creepy, guys ... but freakily interesting too.

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    2. I suddenly want a hamburger.

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    3. I thought it tastes salty. Idunno actually. I can;t even remember where I heard/read that.

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  3. Ha to the post and both of the comments so far. If it's super sweet the right fixins' and barbecue smoke might help it out. Of course you could never tell me that was what I was eating cause I'd have to kill you and then your body would go to waste cause the zombies don't come out in the snow.

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    1. Yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know who ABFTS knows what it tastes like!

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  4. If you weren't fond of the movie about the Donner party, you probably need to steer clear of the movie "Alive" about the 1972 crash of a plane into the Andes. At least their food was kept on ice until they got around to eating it.

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  5. . You cook up a human ass just right and no one will even know the difference. In unrelated news, I'm having a dinner party next week, if you're free. ;0)

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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    1. Hmm, and how would you know about the finer points of cooking human backsides?

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  6. I'm taking notes. If we get any more snow, we may just have to resort to this. Once the pig runs out, of course.

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  7. I hope the police don't check up on all your followers...scary group they are!

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    1. Don't worry, I'm compiling details to forward to them the minute they ask.

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  8. Have you tried Hannibal Lechter's recipe--the one with fava beans?

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  9. In that situation, I suppose I might be the "meal," because I would surely starve to death BEFORE I ate someone!!! I'm pretty sure of that... just sayin'

    Have a great day, Slu

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    1. LOL! I'm not sure which position I'd prefer to be in. To eat, or to be eaten, that is the question.

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  10. Yeah, humans don't have nuggets just like chickens don't. And honey mustard sauce and barbecue sauce don't enhance the flavor. Make it a double quarter pounder with cheese meal for me. And yeah, i think i'd eat frozen tree branches before.. well you know.. :)

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  11. Haven't you suffered enough? Well, unless someone is gnawing on your leg, I'd say no.

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  12. I bet it DID taste like chicken....snorts

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  13. That St Clare is reeeeeeallllly messing with you isn't she?!

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    Replies
    1. She's an evil, vindictive little so-and-so for a Catholic saint, that's for sure.

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  14. Did that really happen ? Oh my God.
    You know something I thought that this post was about recipes. Was I ever so wrong.
    It was compelling enough to read the whole post. Chills - - -

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    1. Oh no! I hope I didn't traumatise you. That must have been disconcerting to come looking for a good chicken recipe only to find a post about cannibalism.

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  15. You got a severe case of the "sucked ins". It happens then you just have to know! That's some movie about the Andes isn't it. I don't believe I've seen it but I've been sucked in on a cold afternoon plenty this winter.

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    1. It was actually about a bunch of American pioneers, but he Andes one you're thinking of is called Alive. I know enough to stay away from that one, that's for sure!

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  16. Ever heard of long pig? No. Thank. You.

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  17. Did you have any snacks during the movie? Potato Skins maybe? :)

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    Replies
    1. LOL! No, I avoided all flesh-looking snack foods for the duration.

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  18. Good thing it wasn't a Donner/Dahmer double feature.

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    1. I definitely wouldn't have been able to handle that.

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  19. Whatever you do, do NOT watch the movie Alive. I had a similar experience as you with that movie. Then there's the nightmare of things like 28 Days Later. Awww crap, I just let you give me nightmares. Yep, totally my fault because of you.

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    1. I'm sorry! Go watch some Disney or something, it's my go-to for when I need to wipe something unpleasant from my tv palate.

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  20. You know this kind of stuff fascinates me, right Kellie!? I'm a disaster movie FREAK. Throw in a little cannibalism and I'm all in!

    You're not going to be visiting my blog again, are you.

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    1. LOL! From the looks of things, you're not the only one who's a little obsessed.

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  21. Chowed down on their dead friend like he was a Happy Meal... Now I'll never get rid of that disturbing image. Thanks ;)

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  22. Ouch! I just burned my lip, whilst laughing and drinking a hot beverage...not to be recommended. This was made all the more funnier by the google ads for Baking chicken, KFC chicken and chicken recipes. :)

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    1. Oh god, I hadn't even thought about the results it would have on the ads!

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    1. Oh god, the mind boggles at what sort of toy they'd put in something like that!

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  24. Did he come with a prize inside? ...Too soon? Ok. I'll pull it back. At least they had him their way. ;)

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    1. LOL! I don't even want to consider what sort of toy surprise would come with that sort of a happy meal!

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  25. Eeww! I just read a few of the macaber comments from some of your readers!

    I saw your 'E-card' at the top of the post first and felt a bit horrified since I've read about the Donner party and know the story. I can't imagine ever doing what they did, but not knowing for sure how we would each react in such extreme situations is always a bit of a worry...

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    1. That's true, I imagine most people would do awful things in extreme circumstances.

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  26. You mean that movie isn't about the reindeer named Donner and his birthday party? I'm starting to think that I shouldn't have let my kids watch it last Christmas.

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    1. Oh dear ... you might want to start saving for that psychologist.

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  27. Skimmed through the comments and found the Donner/Dahmer one. This begs the question of a follow up with Silence of the Lambs & Hannible? Inquiring minds want to know...

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  28. Daytime movies are always bad! Why would you do that to yourself?

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  29. I've missed that one, but still have images from the movie 'Alive' where they decided it was okay to eat people... as long as you don't enjoy it.

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  30. "Trapped in the movie", ha, ha! I can completely relate. Once I start watching a movie, I cannot stop, no matter how much I want to. And, yes, you have suffered enough! Great post!

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