Bob: I know that The Lord of the Rings had better battle scenes, but there's just something about watching a giant rhino gouging a polar bear, isn't there.
Me: I know, it's like poetry. Pure Narnian poetry.
On Screen: Edmund gets stabbed by the White Queen
Bob: Ouch! That must have hurt!
Me: They're not pulling the punches.
Bob: No shit! They just stabbed one of the main characters through the stomach!
On Screen: Edmund lies on the ground, wheezing and clutching the grass
Me: You know, for a thirteen year old he's doing a pretty good job of acting like he's dying of a stabwound. Of course, he's acting more like he's got a sucking chest wound, but I'll overlook it.
Bob: (looking askance) How the hell do you know what a sucking chest wound looks like?
Me: (eyes glued to the screen) Too many episodes of MASH.
Bob: Oh! Here's the good bit!
On screen: The Dwarf gets shot in the chest with an arrow and falls backwards
Me: (fistpunching) Yes!!! Hilarious!!!!
Bob: It's not politically correct, but damn that dwarf's funny when he dies!
Me: I know! It's like "I'm gonna kill you ... sweak ... thump!"
Bob: I can't believe we're sitting here laughing about a dwarf being shot by an arrow. We're probably going straight to hell, aren't we.
Me: (with mouthful of popcorn) No probably about it.