I mean, I'm definitely feminine about most things, I hardly ever wear pants and I rarely go out without make up on, but I'm not really interested in a lot of things that other women are.
I don't shop, I don't like shoes, and women's fashion magazines give me the heebie jeebies, so I'm sure you can see why I've never
considered myself to be overly girlie. I'm just a down to earth,
honest to goodness, no holds barred, woman.
Then the contents of my bathroom came to slap me on the butt.
Then the contents of my bathroom came to slap me on the butt.
I was in there this afternoon looking for something when I realised the awful truth. As I was rummaging through the medicine cabinet it struck me ... I've got enough beauty products
in there to poison a small elephant.
I have no less than seven, count them,
seven different types of gel, mousse, and spray, just for styling my
hair. There's one gel to get rid of the
frizzies, another to add texture, and another to add body. There's a
spray to condition and another to detangle and a third to hold.
Finally there's a mousse that miraculously claims to cure split ends.
I'm not sure if it actually does, but it sure sounded convincing on
the ad.
Needless to say, I should probably avoid open flames.
It scared me a little, I do have to
admit. I've never considered myself to be overly obsessive about my
looks, but it's hard not to wonder when you realise you have five
different types of moisturiser in your bathroom, and you
actually use them all.
I added up the total cost of all the
stuff in the cabinet, and it came to well over five hundred dollars. That's a lot of
money, especially when you consider that none of these items are what you'd call essentials. But I'm only human! They all promised to do all sorts of black magic and jigerypokery and make me look pretty and young!
Yeah, I know. Marketer's dream, standing right here.
Yeah, I know. Marketer's dream, standing right here.
Maybe I should just accept it, I'm thirty mumble years old and looking the dreaded 40's in the face. I guess for the
rest of my life I'm going to be buying beauty products that promise
to make me look younger, prettier, more alive and energetic.
Then again, maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. If I just saved all the money from the creams and lotions and sunk it into a long term deposit ... I could probably afford all the plastic surgery I want when I turn 60.
Then again, maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. If I just saved all the money from the creams and lotions and sunk it into a long term deposit ... I could probably afford all the plastic surgery I want when I turn 60.
I know how you feel. I didn't consider myself as dependent on material things, then I noticed how many cars we had in our driveway. It's hard to claim you don't need possessions when you have to navigate a maze of cars to get to the back door.
ReplyDeleteIt's just one of those things that creeps up on you I think.
DeleteI hate shopping too! Except I also am lucky if I slap on some drugstore purchased lotion in the morning or before bed. Maybe I should start investing in some better beauty products before I'm 30 going on 50.
ReplyDeleteMoisturiser is one of those weird things, the older you get the more expensive it gets. I used to pay six dollars a jar, now days it's more like thirty. God only knows what I'll be paying by the time I retire!
DeleteI am the same! I'm girlie, for sure, but not at al into material things and fashion. But I have tons of products! I was just thinking the other day that if a man were to move in with me, he would have to carry his toiletries in a bag, because there is not a square inch of available space due to my product hoard. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be willing to toss things to make room.
ReplyDeleteI always have these grand ideas that I'll clean out my medicine cabinet, but then I go in there and work out that I can't throw any of it away because I actually use it all.
DeleteI always buy tons of beauty products that I then never use! My bathroom is a graveyard for beauty "good ideas," as in, "I think it would be a good idea to start exfoliating my elbows more. Alas. Unfortunately, having ridiculously curly hair means that no less than 3 products are required every day.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I went through the elbow faze. I think I actually bought a cream that was marketed especially for them.
DeleteFive different moisturizers? What do they all do? One is for hands, one is for face, one is for the ticklish spot in the bottom of your foot, one is for scaring away rabid full moon vampire possums, those are obvious, we all have those, but what's the fifth one's purpose?
ReplyDeleteThe fifth one is for my elbows, obviously!
DeleteI'm not much of a shopper either, unless I'm all alone without the kids, then I just might take my time.
ReplyDeleteThere are some things that are worth the money, if you use them then enjoy them.
I can honestly say I use them all, at least occasionally, so I can console myself that at least it wasn't wasted money.
DeleteThis summer why not do a dare? Get a group of your girlfriends together and decide to be totally make-up free for a week. Whoever wins gets the other girls to treat her to a beauty treatment or suchlike. Just think about how much money you would save in the long run. You could even go on holiday after a year of going natural, or buy a car - depending on the price of the products, ha ha ha. Women! you just gotta love em.
ReplyDeleteLOL! The problem is I'd never win it. I wouldn't be able to go a week without makeup, unless I didn't leave the house all week.
DeleteHoly crap. Serious? You're THAT high maintenance? Why? Did your mom drill it into you or something? Does it make you feel naked not to use all that stuff?
ReplyDeleteIt's more a case of slowly adopting one potion after another, and your hair and skin get used to it so you just can't not use them.
DeleteLike heroin, then. You have to put on six different lotions and 9 hair products just to get to NORMAL.
DeleteDon't feel bad. My hair supplies are probably racking up the at least 300 bucks of stuff and I don't consider myself girly at all. But taking better care of your skin, hair, body in general can get pricey.
ReplyDeleteVery true. And if I don't moisturise I always feel like my skin will crack open. And don't even get me started on how my hair goes if I don't do all that stuff to it.
Delete"I should avoid open flames." Haha! Curly hair requires products. That's not girly, it's a kindness for all who have to look at us.
ReplyDeleteVery true. No one should be subjected to the frizziness we have to endure.
DeleteComing from a product whore like myself, I say it's all about maintenance baby, maintenance. Just like a fine oiled high performance automobile.
ReplyDeletePerhaps tinkering with a jalopy might be a better simile for me.
DeleteHey, don't ditch those moisturizers. And make sure to use one with a high factor sun-block. I'm more than twice your age and people marvel at my smooth skin. Even though the rest of my body has gone to pot!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh, I don't go out into the sun. The day star burns far too bright!
DeleteYou know the saying, "admitting you have a problem is the first step". :) But, seriously, why would you want to poison a small elephant? And please, please, please, don't go up in flames any time soon.
ReplyDeleteHi, my name is Kellie, and I'm a cosmeticaholic...
DeleteI think you are exactly right, it's the promises all these products (well actually the marketing firm for these products) make that convince us that it will make us younger, prettier and healthier.
ReplyDeleteI wish you would of mentioned your idea about saving toward plastic surgery when I was younger. You would of had to mention it in pre-school though for me to have had enough time to come up with the mega bucks I would need to have a overhaul.
I'm thinking that maybe I'm too late too. I should have stared saving back when I was twelve.
DeleteI was just thinking this. So I decided to use some of it, you know rather than just having it and that's a whole other post.
ReplyDelete:D
DeleteI'll be 60 next year. My 40's were THE BEST years of my life to be honest... with or without beauty products.
ReplyDeleteWe are moving this week and I tossed out so much beauty crap from my bathroom cabinets that I could have killed that same elephant! Felt good to be rid of all that junk.
I've got high hopes for my 40's, but of course I plan to moan and groan about it as is expected.
DeleteI can relate to the "hardly ever wear pants" but not so much with the "rarely go out without make up on"
ReplyDeleteI just reread that sentence and it does sound like I just wander around sans pants, doesn't it.
DeleteI like to think of us as the perfect combination of girlie, geek and tomboy. ;0)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie
We are pretty awesome, aren't we :D
DeleteShort hair is the way to go, only need 2 products, gel and hairspray.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right, but I just can't do it. If it's not at least a bob length I feel weird.
DeleteI have a fifteen year old after shave and my wife thinks I'm too effeminate.
ReplyDeleteLOL!
DeleteYep, you've definitely got way toooo much stuff there Kellie - I'm sending you my address ;)
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha, you are so too (half a girlie-girl) anyhow!
LOL! It's a lot, but I swear I use it all!
DeleteI only like to shop for books.. and.. books. Those glossy fashion mags kill me. I'm one of those Glamour 'don'ts', lol. But i DO have a weakness for lipstick, and have many more than i will ever wear. Ever. I like to um.. experiment. I'm always looking for the right shade of red for me. Which is idiotic, because anytime i wear red, i look like a creepy clown with four lips. But i never learn. Anyway, don't feel bad because you like hair stuff. I hope this doesn't sound sexist, but i think we women have it drilled into us since we are old enough to walk, that we want to look pretty for the menfolk. It's an industry that loves to make money too, and to make women feel inadequate. (Don't get me wrong.. i'm not a man hater.) But in some ways, Gloria Steinem knows that of which she speaks. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, but lipstick is something I never buy. I'm not sure if I actually own any.
DeleteHilarious post, and some of these comments are so entertaining! I don't have that many different products, but I'm kind of like you - sort of girly, sort of tomboyish. I only have one moisturizer, but I do have a lot of handbags.
ReplyDeleteIf you cut down and save the money, forget plastic surgery - you could afford a toyboy!
Ooh, cutting out the middle man! I like the way you think!
Delete:) I can relate! I like your idea about possibly reassigning your funds to alternative solutions.. I'm not sure if it would work though, but I like your thinking outside the box! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! If only I had the will power and forethought. Unfortunately I don't, so it's expensive cosmetics for me.
DeleteHaha! You sound like my wife: I say our bathroom has "oceans and oceans of lotions and potions", while I just have a bar of bath soap and some shampoo. 'Course, she looks great (like you :), while I look like crap. It's just one of those societal discriminations. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteS
Oceans and oceans of lotions and potions! I like that!
DeleteKnow how you feel. My hair also frizzes etc so I decided to try some products to see which will tame my curls the most. Before I knew it, I had about 12 different products - and none of them worked! I now go and have a brazilian blowout every 3 months and it keeps my hair in top top shape. Costs a small fortune but I suppose at least I am saving on the other products.
ReplyDeleteI've got a pretty reliable system now, but it would be nice if I could find one product to replace the multitude.
DeleteI'm not girlie at all, but sheesh, my bathroom cabinet is just the same!
ReplyDeleteIt's a woman thing, I think :D
DeleteWow! This is one of the reasons I shave my head - no cost, no bed hair and no split ends ( plus it's easier to hide the bald spot developing) ;-)
ReplyDeleteHmm, I don't think I'd be able to rock that look, unfortunately.
DeleteI hate wearing makeup. Unfortunately this means that my vampire pale skin shows off every pimple in the whole world ever. So while I might not own any make up to speak of, I spend a bunch of time and money on those acne treatment all in one packages. They do work, as long as I NEVER miss washing my face twice daily. Which is you know, so easy to do. *Snerk* Yeah, skip one morning and I look like I was attacked by Acne Annie.
ReplyDeleteI vote that we assassinate Acne Annie. Late at night. Yeah that will fix it. *Rubs hands* Yes, it's all coming together now.
You mean all this time all I had to do was take out a hit on Acne Annie and I wouldn't have had to worry about spots? Sheesh! Why didn't anyone tell me that when I was a teenager!
DeleteI vote that you save the money and skip the plastic surgery too. Instead go on a cruise or something. DO what you want, something fun. Wear your wrinkles and crazy frizzy hair with pride. By then you will have put years of effort at looking so fabulous. If someone is that hung up on appearances- they can bugger off!
ReplyDeleteI expect I'll get to that point eventually, where I'll just throw my hands up and say "screw it", then proceed to run with a cosmetic free style. But until then it's oceans of lotions.
DeleteHahaha! "Marketers dream, standing right here!" Precious.
ReplyDeleteWe all fall prey to those shiny ads at some point or the other!
My other fave quote? "Thirty mumble years old". Seems we are the same age. Lol. I really enjoy your humor, am glad you fond me so I could find you!
Ah yes, the ever so useful "mumble" age. I'll be using that for the rest of my life, I think :D
DeleteI am afraid of most beauty products because I just don't know how to use them...yikes, I should learn!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit like that with my hair straightener. I'm terrified of that thing!
DeleteJust remember - at least you're trying. I'd rather have a high maintenance woman who takes care of herself than one who doesn't care what she looks like at all. You know, the one who only has a bar of soap in her bathroom. Face, body, even her hair - just scrub it all with a bar of soap and call it good for a week.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what sort of women you guys are associating with, but I don't know any that would wash their hair with a bar of soap!
DeleteI've been spring cleaning my bathroom. I've thrown away all kinds of crap! I use hairspray only if anything on my hair. Yet, I had mousse and stuff to add body...that I never use! I love lotion and perfumes! Keeping all the perfumes. :)
ReplyDeleteMy closet is another story! It's full of flip flops and cute tennis shoes and purses/bags!! :)
Oh, my wardrobe needs a good spring clean too, if I can just get the motivation to wade through the globs of old t shirts and leggings I can never bring myself to weed out.
DeleteUgh! I know all about having too many products. I wouldn't be brave like you to add up the cost. Then I would have to start taking depression medicine :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for following my blog! Following you back!
www.cravingchocolateandlazydays.com
I would start taking meds ... but after paying for all those lotions and potions I can't afford it ;D
DeleteHaha, this is so weird! I was just having a similar conversation the other day. I was talking to my boyfriend and bragging about how low maintenance I am and he was like "the money you spend on make up and hairspray every year says otherwise".
ReplyDeleteIt is terrifying when you actually sit down and add it up. If I actually did it over a fifteen year period, I'd probably have a coronary.
DeleteI wonder what percentage of women only wear pants? Too many if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has, in the past, voiced his concern about the advisability of keeping all of my flammable hair products in close proximity to my flat iron. I'm never been a huge product lover...but I think I have a little accumulation through buying something...trying it...not liking it....and inexplicably saving it!
ReplyDeleteHaha I always think I don't use too many products, until I need to sleep-over and I realise I really do want my hand-cream,/contact lenses fluid/make-up and what not with me haha.
ReplyDelete