Take, for example, the conversation I had with one of our facilities people the other day.
Him: You know the problems we've been having with the birds outside the cafe?
Me: I may have heard some whisperings about the evils of bird poop, yes.
Him: Well I'm supposed to be looking for a solution, but I've only managed to find one so far ... and I don't think it'd go down very well if I suggested it.
Me: Okay, now you've got me curious.
Him: Um ... have you ever heard of something called psychedelic birdseed?
So apparently this is a genuine thing you can do to discourage birds from crapping all over your place. You hire a guy to come in and lay out drugged seed that confuses them enough to leave, and then they tell all their little birdy friends that the shit you're pushing is bad so you end up with bird crap free footpaths.
Seriously, there's a guy out there somewhere whose job it is to do this.
Who the hell comes up with this stuff? Who woke up one morning and thought to themselves, "Halucinogenic birdseed! What a great business idea!". And do I even want to know how they managed to get away with testing it?
"No, officer, I'm not poisoning those pigeons. I'm just drugging them. Why? Um ... for science?"