Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Whatever happened to using a good old fashioned scarecrow...

Working in the administrative area of a library is an odd experience.  I work in finance, but there are also people in my team who do records management, administration, and facilities management.  That's a pretty broad spectrum.  It means that you can find yourself discussing things you'd never have imagined when you woke up that morning.

Take, for example, the conversation I had with one of our facilities people the other day.

Him:  You know the problems we've been having with the birds outside the cafe? 
Me:  I may have heard some whisperings about the evils of bird poop, yes. 
Him:  Well I'm supposed to be looking for a solution, but I've only managed to find one so far ... and I don't think it'd go down very well if I suggested it. 
Me:  Okay, now you've got me curious. 
Him:  Um ... have you ever heard of something called psychedelic birdseed?

So apparently this is a genuine thing you can do to discourage birds from crapping all over your place.  You hire a guy to come in and lay out drugged seed that confuses them enough to leave, and then they tell all their little birdy friends that the shit you're pushing is bad so you end up with bird crap free footpaths.

Seriously, there's a guy out there somewhere whose job it is to do this.

Who the hell comes up with this stuff?  Who woke up one morning and thought to themselves, "Halucinogenic birdseed!  What a great business idea!".  And do I even want to know how they managed to get away with testing it?

"No, officer, I'm not poisoning those pigeons.  I'm just drugging them. Why?  Um ... for science?"

63 comments:

  1. Well, now, you've got me thinkin'. I wonder if this would work with all the varmin wandering around my property. Perhaps my friend's "brownies" will do the trick? It's all I can get my hands on quickly. Unless, of course, the coyote actually like the effects and get even more hungry...

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    1. True, the last thing you want is wildlife with the munchies.

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  2. lol, thanks for the laughs this morning. I live near Moore, OK. Birds are the leasst of our problems.

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  3. Wonder if that's what those birdies are on when they suicide bomb themselves into my back bay windows. SPLAT!!!

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    1. Obviously someone out there is drugging your birds :D

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  4. I stopped my husband from cleaning the bird poop as I told him that it might rain. I did not rain heavy and that poop is now well settled in. I guess that I will have to do that job of cleaning it up. Oh well!

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    1. Or you could just wait until it actually does rain :D

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  5. Ok now I've heard of everything! hahahaha. Hey, I like your new photo. Thanks for the visit. You ALWAYS make me chuckle.

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  6. Really??? I would have never guessed that drugging the birds would have that effect. I learn something new everyday.

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    1. It's either that or they end up spending all night eating cake mix out of the box and watching bat late night television.

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  7. Hi Kellie .. the pigeons in Trafalgar Square were going to be given it too at once stage .. I think they decided to give them the pill instead .. though they do use sticky glue - that's a bit of a problem, and hawks - they have hawks at Wimbledon tennis! They usually do a good job .. but an errant one crept in last year I think!

    The drugged birds will fly around and career into each other in flight .. not a happy landing ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. I'm not sure what they'll end up deciding to do, but it'll be interesting to see.

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  8. Is it safe for humans to eat this bird seed? Just ummm... asking for a friend. Who is not a bird.

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    1. Hey man, no worries, it's totally awes...Have you looked at my hands? They're HUGE, man.

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  9. There's a birth control pill for pigeons now too. I heard an in-depth story about it on CBC radio a month or two ago. It's too control pigeon populations without upsetting people by just killing all the pigeons (the old fashioned way of control).

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    1. LOL! I suppose they'd think birth control is a bit too long term a solution.

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  10. It's bad enough we have people smoking 'spice', using bath salts and next bird seed...

    Long gone are the days of simple 'shrooms...

    Ahhh the evolution of drugs or at least what we call them.

    The big question is- Are they hiring???

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    1. What ever happened to a good old fashioned joint, huh?

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  11. Seriously??? Isn't there some stray cat he can throw a fish head to once in awhile??

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    1. LOL! I gave him that suggestion, and he loved it. But somehow I don't think it'd be allowed.

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  12. so..uhm..did they do tests on human too. is that cheaper than LSD, there could be a market you know.

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    1. It's a possibility. "No officer, I'm not taking drugs, it's just bird seed. Woah, look at my fingers..."

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  13. It SHOULD work on the birds--it worked on my husband!!

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  14. Gosh, I thought it might bring them back by the thousands and all their cousins!
    On a more serious note, the pigeon problem got sooooo bad here in the city some years back that they had to do a massive (permanent) cull as one could NOT walk down the main street on any given day without a sloppy pigeon poop on your head or on the ground in front or back of you. People were walking down the pathways with umbrellas (and not to protect them from rain or sun!) Your post brought all that back - I had forgotten.
    Have a great day Kellie!

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  15. Noooooo! Lol. I get that bird poop is no fun, but that's just mean. And this is someone's job? Wow. How does one become a psychedelic bird seed spreader?? If the library does it, PETA, et. al. Will be all over you. I'm an animal and bird lover, don't get me wrong, But PETA scares me a little...

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  16. And his job is still way better than my job... Damn...

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. LOL! I suppose he gets a lot of fresh air, works for himself, etc.

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  17. I think he googled it, not just had the thought pop into his head after waking up.....but then I don't know your co-worker!!!!!

    I'm sure there are many things you can do and surely there is a pigeon killer in Queensland you can call to come and do something?

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    1. I don't think we want to kill the pigeons, just encourage them not to poop near our cafe :D

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  18. drugged out birds with the munchies- scary stuff; there are some weird jobs out there!

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    1. It's definitely one of the more odd ones I've heard of.

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  19. The City Courthouse in Baltimore, across from where I work, had a problem with swarms of starlings perching and pooping all over the ornate window wells. They solved the problem by covering the entire place in netting. It works fine, but the courthouse looks like it's wearing a giant fishnet stocking.

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    1. LOL! I can't imagine them putting netting over the whole cafe.

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  20. Sooooooo, any chance you can get a little more, um, ordering info on that. I have some barn swallows who look like they could use a good time...elsewhere!

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    1. LOL! You'd just want to make sure you're not encouraging them to keep coming back, I suppose. If the stuff was good enough, you might get repeat customers.

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  21. I have no issue with this. In fact, I applaud these animal drugging innovators. These guys were obviously looking for a HUMANE way to deal with the sky-rats aside from feeding them Alka-Seltzer and making their tummies explode. So I say, bravo, and well done.

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    1. Yeah ... the alka-seltzer option would be a bit messy, I'd assume.

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  22. I was once drugged for science, but that's a story for another time.

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  23. Definitely one of the strangest thing I've ever heard!

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  24. I don't think the stereotypical scarecrows actually work do they? Well, if you use like an owl statue or something that might work.

    I wonder what would happen if a human ate some of those "seeds".

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    1. I was going to suggest an owl statue (read about it in a Michael Connolly novel) and I believe you can get some sort of transmitter fitted that scares smaller birds away. Of course then you might have a problem with great big owls thinking it is a mating call...

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    2. No, the owls don't work. Been there, tried that. Don't waste your money on the owls who are typically night birds and don't seem to scare off the day variety. Bummer.
      tm

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  25. I hope no one decides to try that theory out on this Bird, LOL

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  26. Hahaha! I love that the next frontier in pest control is sending animals on a bad trip so that they don't come back to this particular party ever again. If its worked for millions of college kids, why wouldn't it work on pigeons?

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    1. It makes you wonder what next, doesn't it. Watering down their overpriced cocktails?

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  27. Psychedelic birdseed... Is that a fact? I wonder what that tastes like. Would my neighbors suddenly look normal and my banck account so much more promising? Would my writing improve? Would I quit my job seeing things clearly and all? I need that bird seed. I believe I can fly.

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    1. Yeah ... I think you need to put down the birdseed and step away from the balcony, sweetie.

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  28. Now that is some shit happens. I'd try it.

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    1. Considering what some people will do in pursuit of a high, I'm sure you're not alone.

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  29. I really, really want to see a bird tripping on birdseed. I bet it would be sad and hilarious at the same time.

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  30. You are Super creative! :) Great photo!

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  31. On Hamilton Island they regularly bring in eagles to scare off the sulphur crested cockatoos. The eagles are trained so they come in when the cockatoos are in plague proportion and annoying the tourists in the resorts too much. Think that would work for pigeons?

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