That's right, with our revolutionary new quit smoking method, SlapACop, you too can give up smoking in as little as seventy two hours! All for the price of a bus ticket to your nearest police station, you can exchange a face slap to a uniformed officer for an all expenses paid trip to jail.
Enjoy the peace and serenity of your very own jail cell, the professionally prepared meals, and most importantly NO CIGARETTES! That's right, after being forced to go cold turkey, you'll be foot loose and cigarette free in no time.
Disclaimer: Fees listed here do not include any bond that may be required by your local law enforcement agency. So really, if you end up having to shell out five grand to get you out of the pokey, it might not be the best option after all.Sure it might sound like I'm being facetious, but this is something that a California woman actually did. Rather than buy some chewing gum, visiting a hypnotist or asking a friend to yell at her every time she tried to have a smoke, she decided the best option was to try and get arrested so she'd be put in jail and out of temptations reach.
And really, with a plan like that, how could it go wrong?
I'm guessing she didn't really think it through. I'm not exactly an expert on the clink, but I've been led to believe that cigarettes are quite plentiful in there, what with them being used as a form of currency and all. But then what do I know, maybe she did her research and found a smoking free jail before she headed off to put her plan into action.
You'd need to be pretty careful though, I'd imagine. Go too easy on him and you'll get off with a warning, go too hard and you might end up with a pretty new anklet and the inability to put the rubbish out after seven o'clock at night.
On second thoughts, maybe it would just be easier all round to buy a packet of Nicorette.