Monday, February 3, 2014

I think I've found Nemo, he's on my desk at work...

I've worked in an office for almost twenty years, and if there's one thing I've learned about cubicle dwelling, it's that you need to personalise your space.

Hang up pictures, scatter around little toys and novelty items, that sort of thing.  Hell, you can even decorate your computer monitor (mine is surrounded by polished stones, all blue tacked in place) or hang wrapping paper to disguise the fuzzy cubicle walls (I chose a bookshelf motif ... well I do work in a library).  It's all about making the place your own, considering how long you have to sit there every day.

But if there was one thing on my desk that always made it feel like mine, it was Snitchy S Snitchington III.

Snitchy was a siamese fighting fish who lived in a small bowl on top of my filing cabinet.  For well over two years he was my office companion ... at least he was until he went into a gradual decline that ended in a six week death scene where he lay melodramatically at the bottom of his bowl and waved a fin feebly above his head.

What can I say, I like my fish to have a sense of the dramatic.

Even Snitchy couldn't last forever though, and eventually he blurbled his last, and was given a 21 flush salute in the upstairs ladies bathroom, as was his due.  He was a good fish, and he was definitely missed.

But after poor Snitchy's demise it was like I was cursed.  Sushi McFishsauce, Sir Bubbles Glubbington, and Monsieur Poisson all followed in quick succession, but for some reason it never seemed to go very well.  Sushi was gone within a couple of weeks, Bubbles within a couple of days, and I don't think Monsieur Poisson even made it to his first lunch break.

I still have no idea why.  I wasn't treating them any differently to Snitchy, but none of them survived for very long in what was quickly becoming known as "the fishbowl of death" by my oh so caring workmates.  Obviously I wasn't meant to have another fish after Snitchy, so I gave up.  There would be no more fish at Kellie's desk.

At least, that was until this week.

At first when I brought Catherine & Heathcliff in my workmates were worried.  I'd already killed three fish (four if you count Snitchy), did I really want two more on my conscience?  But they quickly got on board when I explained that I don't have to feed them, clean out their bowls, or flush them when they inevitably shuffle of the fishy coil, because they're not even alive.

Robot fish!  Can you believe the things they can do these days?  They're actually children's toys, but I got some for my nephew's birthday and I couldn't resist.

So now I have a couple of robotic clown fish happily bobbing around on my desk, and the only thing I need to do is change their batteries every now and then.

At last, a pet care chore that even I can't screw up!


  1. They're great....where did you get them?

  2. We always maintained that the fish all hid when my youngest daughter went to the pet shop. "Don't choose me I want to live" they would wail. Daughter number two on the other hand kept her fish going for years.

  3. Did you change the water? I used to have a fish tank, and it was a lot of work to maintain. I did have a plecostomus (sucker fish) that lasted over a decade, but I think that was an anomaly. Robot fish is the way to go. (By the way, I haven't seen you around my corner of the web lately, hopefully I didn't piss you off somehow.)

  4. Oh, I love the idea of pets that can't die. This is what I need...indestructible pets. Very cute.

  5. They're so cute, and quite realistic too! I had some (real) goldfish in a tank in my kitchen, but I felt sorry for them and set them free into my mums pond, they were called Horace and Claude.

  6. They are cute, and from a former fish killer I sympathize with your struggles. My first fish made it nearly two years. Second one didn't even make it six months.

  7. You give great fish names! Love Cathy and Heathcliff, but that constant tap-tap-tapping when they hit the glass would drive me up the wall in, oh, about two minutes.

  8. You are so funny, Kellie! I love your writing voice ~ and the robot Nemos! I had two goldfish when I was about 4. I named them Moses and Jesus for good luck. They both expired within days. :( Then when I was studying geology at Acadia, we had a fish tank in the coffee room. The guys used to bet on which little goldfish or neon tetra would get eaten first by a black predator fish they'd drop in. Can't think of its name ~ I think I blocked it out! Those betting days pretty mush cured me of fishtanks! Have a happy week!

    1. Agreement here about Kellie’s delightfully ludicrous writing voice and topics. Difficult to resist reading and almost impossible not to spin-off a comment.

      So…do you think “the guys” will now salt the robo tank water? Actual Clown Fish are a saltwater species. Give it a few days for death by battery corrosion


  9. That's brilliant. I love all the names you've chosen for the various fish.


  10. It all sounds pretty fishy to me. But the names seem right, and all you have to feed them is batteries, I think they should be fine. For at least a while.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

  11. The only way I know to keep tropical fish alive is to have an aquarium equipped with an air filter that pushes oxygen into the water, and plants that give off oxygen. Most fish die because the water in their bowls is oxygen depleted.

  12. I'm surprised you didn't clog the toilets flushing the fish down them.

  13. Oh My> I am an inadvertent fish murderer myself. This gives me hope!

  14. That's the answer right there. No more fish to look after or weep over.

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