Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Tales from the bachelorette party...

... From the table at the bar.
Sue: (waving the newly unwrapped riding crop around) Really guys, you shouldn't have... 
Jane: It was nothing. 
Me: We wanted to get you something practical. Something you could use. 
Mary: You mean she has a horse? 
Jane and Me: (together, grinning) No. 
Mary: (eyes widening) Ohhhhh.... 
Sue: No, I really mean it. You shouldn't have! I'm going to have to carry this thing around with me all night! In the city! People are going to point and stare! 
Me: Well, that was kind of the point. This IS your batchelorette party, a little ritualistic humiliation is to be expected. 
Jane: Just be thankful you're not a guy, otherwise you might be naked and handcuffed to a streetlight by now. 
Mary:  ... remind me not to invite you lot to my batchelorette party. 
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why my friends and I shouldn't be allowed to pick out presents for bachelorette parties.

Actually, we shouldn't be allowed to pick out presents for any occasion.  One friend never really forgave us for buying her a large, lifelike looking dildo as a going away gift.  But she was moving to the country!  And she was single!  And I knew FOR A FACT that she didn't have one already!

Really, we were just acting in her best interests.  Any amusement we felt at her embarrassment as she opened it at her going away party was purely circumstantial.
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13 comments:

  1. CperzJanuary 22, 2014 at 12:35 AM

    I am fairly certain those friends that say "you shouldn't have" followed it up with the thought (to themselves, of course) "but I am glad you did."

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  2. PickleopeJanuary 22, 2014 at 1:57 AM

    With that giant dildo story, I disagree, you and your friends are the best gift givers.
    But did you give her the ball gag that naturally accompanies a riding crop?

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  3. stephen HayesJanuary 22, 2014 at 2:48 AM

    Did the riding crop or dildo come (bad choice of words) with a gift receipt?

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  4. Rob-bearJanuary 22, 2014 at 3:17 AM

    Well, this certainly kicks things down a notch or two. Pretty soon you'll have to put an adult warning here. Mind you, I'd still read it. As a senior Bear, I'm still an adult.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  5. One Bad PixieJanuary 22, 2014 at 5:31 AM

    Do you and your friend do other types of parties too?

    I imagine the gifts are always just the right touch.

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  6. Janie JunebugJanuary 22, 2014 at 5:42 AM

    Hmmmm. Dildo. Hmmmmm.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2014 at 6:43 AM

    You can pick out my gifts any time! Lol.. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Debra She Who SeeksJanuary 22, 2014 at 12:05 PM

    You showed a lot of restraint. I can think of MUCH more embarrassing presents to give in public.

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  9. Garrison KellyJanuary 23, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    My birthday is coming up in June. I've always wanted a ball gag! Or an iTunes gift card, that'd be okay too. Hehe!

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  10. Rum-Punch DrunkJanuary 25, 2014 at 5:53 PM

    Those type of parties can go off the scale sometimes. And the next day is always full of embarrassment!

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  11. UnknownMarch 28, 2014 at 8:16 PM

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    hen do london & hen parties in london

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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