Thursday, February 7, 2013

What it means to be a grown up...

*Pulls out a soap box and adopts a Martin Luther King Jr accent*

When I was a child I had a dream.  I dreamed of all the things I was going to be able to do when I grew up.  I was finally going to be out from under the parental thumb!  I would be the ruler of my own kingdom, the Mistress of my own destiny!  They wouldn't be the boss of me anymore and I'd be able to do whatever I wanted, thank you very much!

*The audience murmurs and a wave of "amen" spreads across the crowd*

Of course, now having reached the grand old age of thirty-mumble, I know now that it was just an illusion.  No one really gets to do whatever they want, when they want to.  Responsibilities and bosses and bills all get in the way.  Common sense and people saying "act your age, damn it" all stop you from finally getting to live your dream.  

Damned common sense ... always ruining my fun.

*A cry of "preach" is heard from the back of the crowd*

But today ... today I realised something.  Why can't I do whatever I want?  Why can't I eat cake for breakfast?  Or build a pillow fort using the good sheets?  Or eat dinner in front of the TV?  What or who is stopping me?

*A roar comes from the assembled masses*

That's right, no one!  No one but my own insistance to conform to societal expectations!  

So, as a manifesto against dragging childhood restraints into adulthood, I've compiled a list of things I can now do freely and openly that I couldn't as a child!  Read them, study them, and prepare to put them into action, my minions!

  • I paid good money for my nice clothes, the ones I keep in the wardrobe in preparation for an event or function that will probably never happen.  Why, exactly shouldn't I wear them for no good reason?  Just because I couldn't wear my "nice" dress whenever I wanted to as a child, why should I continue to constrain myself?  If I want to wear my nice green dress every damned day, I'm gonna!  
  • Here's a funny little one that took me a few minutes to get my head around.  No one is making you go to work!  We were all so used to "having" to go to school that most of us just transferred that concept to work.  Of course you might choose to go, given the fact that they probably won't pay you if you don't, but that doesn't change the fact that it's completely in your control. Freaky, huh?
  • One day, and that day may not be very far off, you're going to realise that you really are able to eat whatever you want just like you said you would when you were a kid.  Don't believe me?  Tomorrow, eat a box of after dinner mints for lunch.  Seriously, just go ahead and do it, no one will stop you.  
  • I am thirty-mumble years old.  Why, exactly, can't I stay up all night if I choose to?  All the arguements for going to bed early as a child, such as growing children needing sleep, should be null and void by the time you're an adult.  If I'm tired, I'll sleep.  But if I want to stay up to 2am on a week night, trawling through the internet looking for convincing McKay/Sheppard Stargate Atlantis photo manipulations, then I damned well will!

In order to remind myself that I'm the head honcho in my own life, I think I'll make sure to do the following things on a regular basis (some more regularly than others).  And of course the only reasons I have for doing them are altruistic and completely not self indulgent.

No, seriously!  Stop laughing!

By the way, don't forget to go enter my Geeky Competition.  Unless you're not a geek ... in which case, no judgement here.  It takes all kinds, after all.

53 comments:

  1. Hehe!!! Love this! And that is why I lick my bowl &/or plate clean whenever I feel the need (which is pretty much everyday :) - because I was forbidden as a child - apparently it was incredibly "rude."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good! Embrace your inner child, and give her a cookie!

      Delete
  2. Personally, I always wear an evening gown and tiara when taking out the garbage.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Listen up young lady, if it's a school/work night you need to get your sleep, and dinner mints for dinner...why I never...you'll... you... you'll get a stomach ache that's what, and that green dress better be cleaned and pressed for when you really need it!!

    Listen, I'm mumble mumble years old, I know what I'm talking about!
    Now get some rest so you can write more funny posts!!

    Why I never...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why I oughta........go kiss Buddha (the Boston terrier Buddha that is) right now; take that Mum!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gasp. I can do anything. ANYTHING. And much to my inner child's dismay, I choose epic nap time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your inner child wants to give you a wedgie right now!

      Delete
  6. MmMmMm cake for breakfast! YES PLEASE! I know it's funny how we catch ourselves doing the same shiz they told us we couldn't do as kids. You're right... Why can't I? I'm thirtysomething also, tell me why the hell i cant?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Bill Cosby is the one that pointed it out. Cake s made of milk, flour and eggs. Sounds like breakfast to me!

      Delete
  7. I just want to take a nap. :-( I'm stopping myself because I need to get paid. But I will be living vicariously through you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow! You always rock!
    http://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love it - Love the way you think - I'm sure if we all thought like you the world would be a calmer and safer place to live.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I take afternoon naps (I call them siestas) just because I can, whether or not I'm even sleepy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your inner child is very disappointed ... but I have to admit I'm jealous.

      Delete
  11. It's not that we should be able to nap--we should--it's also the munchkins should not be able to nap. They way up rested and ready to act a monkey and we're exhausted. Visiting my nieces makes me positive I both want children and don't want them. I'd like them to be infants and then disappear around two and show back up with degrees and jobs. Can't quite work out where they'd be in the meantime though yeah that's the problem lol. The other stuff do as much as you want. I eat badly, drink things more than I used to but not as much as I should. Had a gingerbread martini last night that was delicious and contains a half scoop of ice cream. Fabulous lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol! That, my friend, is why they invented boarding school ;p

      Delete
  12. Sometimes you just can't win. I tend to eat what I want for breakfast, which sometimes includes cake. But even when I tried to stick to propriety and have traditional American breakfast foods so as not to gross people out, my British family was all, "You're eating PANCAKES for breakfast? But that's dessert!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well they can't speak, they eat fish for breakfast!

      Delete
    2. On behalf of the British, not so many have kippers any more. They are good though.

      Delete
  13. The afternoon nap that was mentioned in some of the other comments brings up the point that things we thought were bad somewhere along the line became good. And the things that sounded good like "working and making money" wasn't as fun as we imagined it would be. Some days being "in charge" means there are consequences for our actions. That sucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I definitely don't remember them mentioning that in the brochure!

      Delete
  14. I'm seventy mumble years old & I'm having an Orange Julius for breakfast right now at 11:45 am because I want to!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure what an Orange Julius is, but it sounds delicious!

      Delete
  15. I think I have done all of those things.. and then you eventually realise that there are good reasons for living a life that is more or less nicely ordered most of the time. You actually do better if you don't eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner (from my own experience), better if you do sleep at night (I once went for a week - seven days of having lots of fun with just the occasional catnap, before landing in bed sick for a couple of days), and better if you work and not just play all day. The only one I'm sticking with is wearing whatever you want to. In fact, I've always thought that having wonderful nighties and pj's and house clothes is a lot of fun - there's a great feeling that comes from looking totally fabulous when it's just for you :) I save my dowdy clothes for going out. It's a bit like Superman and his Clark Kent glasses. If only they knew..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may well be right ... but I'd have a hell of a lot of fun working it out :D

      Delete
  16. Yay you for discovering all of this while you're still YOUNG! :) You really can have life on YOUR terms, afterall it's YOUR life. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd yell YOLO, but I don't want to be that person ;P

      Delete
  17. I totally agree!!! I'm eating what I want when I want!! Does that mean I can get my childhood metabolism back?!? ;0)

    Hug!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, sign me up for that too! My childhood metabolism kicked ass!

      Delete
  18. Sounds like a plan... But, I do like my paychecks, so I go to work. And I hate my expanding waist-line that has resulted in having practiced a portion of your #3.

    It seems as if you can't win for losing...

    Good post. Take care, Slu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the problem of course. Bosses are notoriously unsympathetic to the cause.

      Delete
  19. I say everyone needs more cake in their lives. Especially chocolate cake. Can I get an here here on that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true! There is no such thing as too much cake!

      Delete
  20. Preach on! I will eat brownies while driving and reading a comic book and wearing a cape and nothing else, just as I always dreamed as a child...I have to remember to ask my mom if I was dropped on my head as a baby.

    ReplyDelete
  21. hmmmmm Some of these are common sense. I always wear my daughter's prom dress to gas up, but I think my kids make me go to work as they'd starve otherwise. And I can't can't stay up all night unless I want them taken from me as I'd be unfit to sleep all day. Someone has to care for them.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I never thought about it this way, but you're right. BTW, I notice you are thirty-mumble. Those are the best years, girl. Speaking as someone who is mumble-mumble, I know these things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol! I'm still a few years off mumble mumble, but I've almost decided I'm going to start going backward when I reach 40.

      Delete
  23. So true.
    I eat chili for breakfast because I like it and I don't think there should be rules around what you can eat at different meals.

    I also quit jobs without having other jobs to go to because life is too unpredictable to do something for the sake of money alone.

    And I just chose to go into debt to take some awesome courses I'm really interested in because you can always make more money but you can never get back time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's very true. My mother always says that the time will pass anyway, you might as well do whatever you're procrastinating about.

      Delete
  24. I once read words by a very wise person (whose name currently escapes me) who compared humans to zoo animals in that they are utterly as trapped by their job, familial commitments and social expectations as the creatures taken from the wild and caged. Thinking about it, it was probably Gerald Durrell.

    Enjoy the small freedoms, that's what I say. But beware the staying up too late one - it gets addictive and there comes a time of night where the dark side of Youtube is oh-so-attractive and before you know it, it's 4am and you'll be (as my Irish Husby says) like a 'biled shite in the marnin'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god, Youtube definitely can mess with your sleep schedules! The number of ours I've stayed up watching The Lizzie Bennett Diaries!

      Delete
  25. I like the way you think! I've just moved out of my Mums house into a flat on my own...I eat chocolate waffles for dinner, in front of the TV, and stay in my PJs till 3pm...living the dream! :)

    ReplyDelete