There are many responses that would be considered appropriate to finding out that your wife is having an affair. Marriage counselling, trial separation, divorce. Hell, even completely unhealthy emotional manipulation and toxic co-dependency.
One option that never occured to me, however, was committing military espionage.
But that's what a Canadian Naval Officer did though when he found out in 2007 that his wife was cheating on him. Rather than throw all her clothes into the front yard while screaming about what a whore she was, he walked into the Russian Embassy and offered to spy for them. That's right, he just walked right in there and offered his "espionage services".
Damn, dude! Couldn't you have just posted a questionable add in Craigslist with her phone number and a comment about how she's looking for "someone who likes lazy Sunday lie ins and watersports" like a normal person? Nothing eases the soul like causing irreparable damage to a cheating spouses reputation. Or you could have called your mates and got them to take you to a strip club! I hear some of them have pretty nice counter meals, and you could have had someone named Candie McHooters lap dance your cares away.
Still, getting a happy ending from Candie, while satisfying in its own way, wouldn't have been as lucrative as the option he chose. Apparently he was paid about a hundred and twelve thousand dollars over the past five years for his services.
You know what gets me though? Since when does Canada have secrets worth a hundred and twelve thousand dollars!
I always imagined that Canada was a bit like here in Australia. We're the harmless, likeable souls who never actually do anything of significance and just stand near the big guys saying "Yeah, what he said!" whenever serious shit is going down. We don't have secrets. We don't even know HOW to have secrets. So when did Canada start having them?
*looks suspiciously over at Canada*
So ... anything you'd like to confess, Canada?
By the way, don't forget to go enter my Geeky Competition. Unless you're not a geek ... in which case, no judgement here. It takes all kinds, after all.