Sunday, February 17, 2013

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me...

I love reading advice columns.  Seriously, if you want to feel like your life is flowing along swimmingly, just read about other people's problems.  Never fails to make you feel normal!

So during one of my brief jaunts through other people's dilemmas, I stumbled across this little jem.  Oh boy, when I read the opening line "My neighbour walks her girlfriend on a leash, what do I tell my kids?" I knew I'd hit the jackpot!

I read on, looking forward to all sorts of juicy details, but that sentence summed it up pretty well.  The mother who'd written the letter lived near a woman who liked to walk around the neighbourhood with her girlfriend on the end of a leash.  Both parties seemed okay with the situation, so there wasn't any question of consent, but when asked by her child what they were doing, the mother could only come up with "Oh, the lady's pretending to be a dog".

Apparently the mother was concerned, and more than a little angry, that at some point in the near future she was going to have to explain the concept of kinky sex to her li'l 'un.

"Well, sweetheart, when two people love each other very much ... and they both love whips and chains ..."

I personally wouldn't have any problem with it.  It's not like they were doing anything explicitly sexy in public ... just something that hinted at the type of sex they had in private ... but I can see why other people might get a bit antsy.  Some people have a higher threshold for this sort of thing than other.

But it does seem as if this woman was doing it more for the attention factor than anything else.  There are lots of things we'd all like to do in public, things that aren't necessarily forbidden or frowned on, but we don't because we don't want to make other people uncomfortable.  It's just a courtesy thing.  Hell, I don't scratch my breasts in public when they're itchy because some people might be made uncomfortable.  Equally, I'd be uncomfortable if someone was having a dig around in their crotch.  It's just manners.

But this woman is not just doing something that makes other people uncomfortable, she's obviously flaunting it.  It's a crusade to her, she wants a reaction and is probably hoping she gets one so she can get righteously indignant.  So my advice to this mother would be let it go, you're not going to win this one.  She's not going to stop just because you ask her to, so you might as well just sit back and enjoy the show.  I know I would if I were you.

34 comments:

  1. Correcto! If anyone says anything to them, THEY WIN! That's exactly what they want. I wouldn't give 'em the satisfaction.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. The woman on the leash probably would be delighted to be asked. I found it difficult to explain things like that when my kids were really young. And then they broke my prude so now I say a lot of things that probably shouldn't be said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's funny how your weird tolerance levels change over time, isn't it.

      Delete
  3. Wow, that's a bit nutty. I have nothing against their lifestyle, but it is odd that they would parade around in a residential neighborhood. I personally wouldn't get too worked up about it if I had kids, though. To be honest, I would most likely just laugh about it and instill my in my kids my love of oddball people :) Or I'd send my four year old over to ask the ladies themselves what they are doing. I would love to hear how she would explain it to an innocent kid, and she would have totally brought it on herself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, I hadn't thought of that! Sending the kid up to ask would be perfect!

      Delete
  4. I like the advice given to go and talk to the couple. Maybe they are doing this as an experiment to see if anyone will approach them about it. Who knows????

    enjoy your weekend!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Possibly, although I think it's more likely that exhibitionism is one of their kinks, and this is a safe, non-illegal way of indulging it.

      Delete
  5. I didn't know what to think when I read this, as I'm not sure if I would want children to see adults prancing around on a dog lead.

    Just imagine what your 5 yr old might be doing at playtime. Health & Safety ladies. What you do behind closed doors is their issue and I don't always need to see that they're having a good time. Mystery is good, ha ha ha.

    Well, what can I really say now, society is changing for real. Next month you might just see this same couple on a leash cocking her leg up and defecating on the pavement whilst the other cleans it up... gross but possibly true.
    Sorry if you think my comment was crude but I was not trying to offend, just make a point in how far things can go if we're not to careful. I've seen a lot behind the scenes and I'd hate for things to spill out on to the streets educating the generations that will lead our country. Can you imagine a President or Prime Minister on a leash? huh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Personally, I don't have any problem with them walking around on a leash. Hell, everyone should do whatever makes them feel comfortable, as far as I'm concerned. But I do acknowledge that if it makes other people uncomfortable, then you have to temper it a bit. It's all about the give and take.

      Delete
  6. I don't agree at all. I think you should keep your private things private. It's this sort of thing, among others, that is leading our country down the wrong path. People are pushing the boundaries to the point where there is no discretion left. Im glad that mother spoke her mind and voiced her concerns!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm guessing she was stumped at first when her kid asked her what they were doing. I've got to give her props for coming up with the "pretending to be a dog" story so quickly.

      Delete
  7. I wouldn't approach them to talk about what they are doing. Totally their business but I would take some pictures. I think as a blogger I pray that I see some unusual things so I have future blog posts. I could only hope that someone on a leash goes by my house today.

    As for the kids...I wouldn't of wanted my kids (when they were really little) to be exposed to things above their understanding but in most cases a quick answer such as the "she is pretending to be a dog" suffices and the kids move onto something else.
    Basically, as they got older, when we had opportunities to see odd things happening, it was also a great opportunity to talk about how diverse the people in our world are. I always wanted my kids to be aware that not everyone operates like our family. That doesn't make it wrong...just different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I'm totally jealous of this woman! I want someone in my neighbourhood to walk around on a leash! Why don't I have any quirky neighbours I can write about?

      Delete
    2. You might find that the "lady" on the leash would take offence at your trying to photograph them. Recently while travelling I was being annoyed by gypsys getting in my face, so I turned the tables by aiming my camera at them. They got so annoyed they left me alone and moved on to someone else. As for my partner, his tactic is to "bark" at them. No, he wasn't on a leash, but it certainly would be a fitting response in this situation. Tee hee.

      Delete
  8. Oh my word - still laughing. Hubby even paused the TV while I read this out. It takes all sorts and as you say - just sit back and joy the show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Very good advice. I know I would if they lived in my neighbourhood.

      Delete
  9. I like the idea of letting the child go up and ask them. Although it may be more difficult to explain THAT answer.

    If the neighbor knows where they live, she could anonymously leave a flea collar or worm medicine by their door.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd imagine that being confronted by a kid would squelch the exhibitionism.

      Delete
  10. You are absolutely correct. Your assessment is insightful, and brutal. The only reaction that would work would be, "Hey! Hey! I hope you brought some baggies for when your dog craps on my lawn!" Then never acknowledge to your child that the woman on the leash isn't just a bipedal dog. I'm sure that won't cause them to go into therapy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Now there's a neighbourhood feud just waiting to happen!

      Delete
  11. You know, Kellie, you're going to give us Canadians a bad name by posting all these strange stories from our country, LOL! Anyway, I read that article in the Globe and Mail too and a week later they had a follow-up article. The dog-walking lady contacted them and discussed her side of the situation. Here's the link if you're interested:

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/woman-who-walks-her-girlfriend-on-a-leash-responds-we-like-to-have-fun/article835467/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oooops sorry, a wee correction: the last part of that link is: /article8358467/ Missed an 8!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, thanks! I hadn't read the follow up. I still have to say, though, I think it's more a case of mild exhibitionism than simply "living their lives". As someone who knows more about this stuff than the average bear, I can reliably say that no one into this stuff would dream of doing something so obvious in public ... perhaps unless they were on their way to the Hellfire Club.

      Delete
  13. Ok... Your Title "hooked" me!!! Ha, but I agree with you.

    Gotta tell you: You had me LOLing with your line: "I knew I'd hit the jackpot." Too funny.

    Slu

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wouldn't say anything to this couple, but I just might bark or growl at them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! That's probably not the response they were hoping for.

      Delete
  15. Omg.. If my kids had seen this they would've shaken loose of my hands to run up and ask these ladies why one of them was on a leash but then I've always had those kids that just ask, "Why is your hair purple, I like it! Mom can I have purple hair?" Or, "What happened to your legs?", right on to "So does your wheelchair go super fast?" Other parents/people standing around were horrified but the guys with the purple hair said, you've got some cool kids there and the guy in the wheelchair assured me it was fine and he thanked my son for asking.. I think that kids tend to follow what they see their parents do, actions, facial expressions, whatever. I'm seldom shocked by anything I see but kudos to the mom for coming up with that story. If my kids weren't so openly curious that is def a great answer. I feel so sheltered. We have no one on leashes around here, a few I'd like to see on leashes though.. Great post Kellie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, I'd pay good money to see your kids ask the leash couple questions! That'd be hilarious!

      Delete
  16. You RE 100% CORRECT, just looking for attention. Like people with sayings on their tee shirt and when they catch you reading them ask, "What are you looking at?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. Perhaps it's subconscious, but it's a classic case of exhibitionism.

      Delete
  17. Well Kellie, I thought I was done shaking my head and laughing - until I read Stephen Hayes comment, Bwahahahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just keep a rolled up newspaper handy. If you see one of them on your lawn, whack them on the nose with it. That will teach them to go elsewhere.

    ReplyDelete