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Go down to the local video store. Borrow a video here, borrow a video there. First it's just an hour overdue, then two, then a day, until you're consistantly averaging a week late with your returns. It's a vicious cycle, believe me.
I know what you're thinking, how on earth can she be in trouble with a video rental store? Didn't they all close down years ago thanks to iTunes and Netflix? Well, maybe over in the US they did, but in Australia they've managed to hold on a tad longer, surviving on traditionalists and people with limited internet download plans.
But those days are over. They're all closing down in droves ... and taking the opportunity to sell their debts to debt collection agencies.
Seriously, it's been years since I last rented a DVD from a video store, but that didn't stop them from selling the overdue fines I apparently owe them to a collector, or stop the collector from sending me a very official looking and wordy letter all about what they're going to do if I don't pony up the dough.
But the joke's on you, Mr Debt Collector! I deal with guys like you all the time in my job, so I know all about the tricks of the trade. I know exactly how much you would have to go through to try and get the dosh out of me, with a very real chance of you not getting anything in the end. I know exactly how far a collector will go, and when they'll decide it's not worth it ... and I definitely fall under the category of not worth it.
You're just lucky I'm willing to be the bigger person.
The cheque is in the mail, dude.
But those days are over. They're all closing down in droves ... and taking the opportunity to sell their debts to debt collection agencies.
Seriously, it's been years since I last rented a DVD from a video store, but that didn't stop them from selling the overdue fines I apparently owe them to a collector, or stop the collector from sending me a very official looking and wordy letter all about what they're going to do if I don't pony up the dough.
But the joke's on you, Mr Debt Collector! I deal with guys like you all the time in my job, so I know all about the tricks of the trade. I know exactly how much you would have to go through to try and get the dosh out of me, with a very real chance of you not getting anything in the end. I know exactly how far a collector will go, and when they'll decide it's not worth it ... and I definitely fall under the category of not worth it.
You're just lucky I'm willing to be the bigger person.
The cheque is in the mail, dude.
Just make sure you have Call Display on your phone so you can screen out the collection calls when they start phoning!
ReplyDeleteIt's like the ghost of your debt to a ghost of a store is haunting you. A double ghost! Like if someone murdered Casper...again.
ReplyDeleteThere must be a lot of deadbeats out there with my name because I get calls from collection agencies every week, even though I have no debt.
ReplyDeleteWe have Redbox machines, kind of like vending machines, where you can rent dvd's. They are smart, though...they charge you a dollor a day, and they have your credit card info so they don't have to wait for me to pay them. Often, I find it cheaper to just buy the dvd, rather than rent it, because I know for certain I won't be returning it so I only have to pay $1.
ReplyDeleteI love Netflix. I think Jacksonville, a city of a million people, has one video store. The City of Where Disney World is once had a collections agency send me a letter saying I had gotten a ticket there and hadn't paid it and I'd better pony up or they were going all Minnie Mouse on my ass. I sent a letter back to them stating I had never been to that city and they had to supply me with evidentiary photos and documents proving that I had been there and received a ticket. I never heard from them again. HA, Mickey and Donald!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Some day even movies themselves will become obsolete. Instead we will pay to watch real live people walk around on a platform of some kind dressed in costumes, reciting and acting out the dialog of the story in real time. The future is going to be glorious.
ReplyDeleteMy local Blockbuster is gone and I haven't borrowed dvds for years either, I always get them from my local library.
ReplyDeleteHere they would report you to the credit bureau even if they don't pursue you for the money. Then when you want to buy a house 6 years from now it comes back to haunt you. I know from experience!! lol
ReplyDeleteWow. A debt from a long-forgotten time and place. It's as though history itself has hunted you down...Or some angry poltergeist who's bitter about the demise of his brothers in home entertainment--The cassette tape, and the VHS.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. What an experience. I'd have been shocked getting a notice about some long forgotten fine at a video store. I can't even remember the last time I went into side one.
ReplyDeleteYou see Kellie, your past always catches up with you, ha ha ha. Now I hope you've got enough money in the bank to cover the cost, otherwise they will be knocking your door a day later, ha ha ha. It's Christmas, and they need the funds to buy gifts for their kids.
ReplyDeleteI had those same problems, too. As punctual as I usually am, I could NEVER seem to return them on time, although I did pay up. But now they're all closed, so I guess I get the last laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteS
-chuckle- you're a good 'un. :)
ReplyDeletePS - what? you still have a cheque book? really??
ReplyDeleteDVD rentals? I remember those. This reminds me... There's a guy trying to repossess my wooden ship, my musket, and my abacus.
ReplyDeletePrerequisite to be a debt collector: "Can you be as pushy and rude as possible? Can you make a $10 debt sound like they're stealing from the hand of God himself? Then you're hired!"
ReplyDeleteDang, I thought everyone who had late fees with Blowbuster was off the hook now!
ReplyDeleteWe still have one DVD rental store here in great old LA, USA which is amazing, I think it's because it's a local owned chain.
ReplyDeleteI am the local get rid of the collector's gal in our family. I have pre-drafted letters for every kind of rebuttal imaginable all saved on the computer (and in hard copy in case of yet another crash) that thankfully haven't seen the light of day in a few years but I'm ready to zap the pesky rodents if needed. I delight in taking those bastards down.
I used to do collection calls for the bank I worked at and not one person I called owed for old DVDs. Mortgages and cars but not movies. I hardly think that it would be worth a collection agency's time.
ReplyDelete