Saturday, November 30, 2013

They might fly through the air with the greatest of ease, but they're taking years off my life while they do it...

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I think I was about three years old the first time I went to the circus.  

I have this vague recollection of going into a tent, sitting on some rather uncomfortable benches, and watching the usual circus type entertainments.  They had performing animals (it was back in the 70's when they could still bring a wild animal into an enclosed space with young children), tumblers, a ringmaster, clowns ... the whole kit and kaboodle.  

I don't really remember much of it, I was far too young, but there is one part of the whole show I remember with almost startling clarity.  

The acrobats.

I remember watching them, utterly convinced they were going to plummet to their deaths.  They didn't, of course, but from that point on I have to say it was my least favourite part of the circus ... something that I was vividly reminded of recently when I went to see a circus themed stage show with my friend Bob.

So many bloody acrobats swinging around like they were trying to break their necks!  With each one I was equal parts impressed and horrified.  But it wasn't until the last one that I almost lost it.

He was young, just a kid really, and he settled himself on the bar of the trapeze and just started twisting around and around, contorting until he was all tied up in the ropes and barely a foot from the ceiling, at least twenty metres up.  Then he looked down at us, smiled, and let go. 

And I just about had a heart attack.

He was fine of course, he just tumbled around and around and then turned his feet out at the last minute to stop from falling to the ground.  Got quite the round of applause in fact.  I, however, was only barely able to restrain myself from giving him a good shaking!  I was sure he was going to end up a smushed little spot on the ground!

So here's my message to you, Mr Acrobat.  I was incredibly impressed by your skill and dedication to your craft.  But if you ever scare me like that again, you little shit, not even Bob's hand on my arm will stop me from rushing onto that stage and giving you a good slap!

Bloody trapeze artists...

21 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I was a safety co-ordinator at my previous job and we would give points to people who did not hold a railing when coming down steps. To this day I am petrified of climbing down a set of stairs where there is no railing.

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    1. Me too! We had a fire evacuation here the other day and I had to climb down five stories in the fire escape. Lets just say they're lucky I didn't plummet to my death, the paperwork would have been horrendous.

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  2. So do you think most people go to see circus acrobats in the hope that they'll see a fall, like people supposedly go to car races with the secret hope of seeing a wreck? I say go ahead and smack him. :)

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    1. I probably would next time. I don't need that sort of stress from a stage show!

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  3. I can't watch that sort of thing. I have the same problem with the figure skating when the men swing the women around by their feet and their heads are pennies from the ice. Yikes!!

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    1. See, I don't have the same problem with figure skaters. I quite enjoy watching them fall on their backsides.

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  4. Just to add on to Delores' comment -- yes, and you know what that figure skating move is named? "The death spiral" -- nice, eh?

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  5. Guessing you're not a big fan of tightrope walkers or daredevils of any sort, then, are you? It scares me to watch the lion tamer. I just know that lion is going to get hit again, I feel bad for it.

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    1. Poor lion. And I'd imagine it's hard to get the bits of lion tamer out from between their teeth. Poor lions have it so bad.

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  6. I'd love to see you rush out and slap him. I never go to the circus. We went once when I was a small child and I was so terrified by being in seats so high up in the bleachers that my parents had to take me home. I've never gone again. I still remember the fear.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I remember my brother was terrified of the clowns, can't say I really blame him.

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  7. I LOVE the circus--& acrobats--& figure skating. Tightrope walkers, not so much!!

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    1. Tightrope walkers, there's an other one! And the ones who do it on a unicycle, buggers!

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  8. I saw an acrobat slam his head on a tent support and fall unconscious into a net when I was a kid. I don 't like it when people risk their lives for the amusement of others.

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    1. It's strange, isn't it, that a good proportion of our entertainment is based on that very thing.

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  9. You seem bit disliking the risk they take..most of people enjoy though..it's gives the edge and thrill...but it would be more thrilling for you to rush out and slap him while he he hanging from the rope upside down...he he he.. :D

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  10. You probably don't want to go see cirque du soleil :)
    Rick, your latest follower.

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  11. I've always wanted to go see cirque du soleil until one of the performers fell to their death fairly recently. Not sure I have the same feel for the thrill anymore. And who wants to pay top dollar to sit with your eyes closed all evening?!

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  12. I love a good trapeze show (and I've even taken trapeze lessons on week years ago), since there is a net below them. I also enjoyed the Pink concert when she was safely secured to the wires swinging her around over the audience. The people who do the acrobatics with no safety net or harness...not so much. While their moves are quite impressive, all I can picture is someone's head splattered on the ground below.

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  13. There was as tragic accident at a Cirque du Soleil recently where a performer made a mistake and fell; the audience thought it was part of the show.

    If it wasn't so dangerous, it wouldn't be so breathtaking.

    I wouldn't do it, but I always love to watch it.

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