I don't camp. I don't sleep on the ground. I don't stay in hotels less than three and a half stars. I don't share rooms with strangers because it's cheaper. I don't do bush showers, or amenities blocks, or "we don't need bathing facilities, we'll just wash in the creek".
I'm a bit precious when it comes to things like that.
To be completely honest, I'm a bit of a princess. Given a choice I'll pick three days in a five star hotel over four weeks in a caravan, no question. When I travel (and in my home town for that matter), I prefer to stay at The Stamford. I like room service. And movies on demand. And masseuses you can have come to your room.
I've actually used a pillow menu, for god's sake!
But as much of a diva as I like to think I can be about things like that, I've got nothing on these guys [link]. For you linktually challenged people out there, the website gives a list of strange, over the top things you can request at some of the world's most fancy hotels. Things like a tanning butler, or a dog psychic, or a menu of sex toys.
Well I think it's quite obvious I've been slacking off in the demanding guest department. Why have I never thought of insisting on a massage in a gondola? Or someone to hand slice my soap for me? Or a gold plated iPad?
And truth be told, I honestly think if I called the concierge at some of the hotels I've stayed in and asked him to send someone up to slice my soap, he actually would. The staff always seem way too eager to do whatever I've ask, no matter how ridiculous and unreasonable the demand. Nothing is too hard, no request too difficult.
It sure beats home where, no matter how many times I ask, Gypsy the Feline Dictator refuses to turn down the bed and put a chocolate on the pillow.
But seriously, if you've never stayed in a five star hotel before, do yourself a favour and try it, even if it's just for a single night. Get on one of those cheap last minute hotel deal sites, book the room that has the biggest discount, then go and pretend to be rich and famous for an evening. Ask the concierge to bring you extra bubble bath. Call room service and have them bring you an icecream sundae. Order every spa treatment you can to be done in your room.
It's indulgent and totally decadent ... but so worth it.