Saturday, November 23, 2013

I won't lie, I'm a bit of a princess...

Source
This will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone who has met me, but I'm not really one for roughing it.

I don't camp.  I don't sleep on the ground.  I don't stay in hotels less than three and a half stars.  I don't share rooms with strangers because it's cheaper.  I don't do bush showers, or amenities blocks, or "we don't need bathing facilities, we'll just wash in the creek".

I'm a bit precious when it comes to things like that.

To be completely honest, I'm a bit of a princess.  Given a choice I'll pick three days in a five star hotel over four weeks in a caravan, no question.  When I travel (and in my home town for that matter), I prefer to stay at The Stamford.  I like room service.  And movies on demand.  And masseuses you can have come to your room.

I've actually used a pillow menu, for god's sake!

But as much of a diva as I like to think I can be about things like that, I've got nothing on these guys [link].  For you linktually challenged people out there, the website gives a list of strange, over the top things you can request at some of the world's most fancy hotels.  Things like a tanning butler, or a dog psychic, or a menu of sex toys.

Well I think it's quite obvious I've been slacking off in the demanding guest department.  Why have I never thought of insisting on a massage in a gondola?  Or someone to hand slice my soap for me?  Or a gold plated iPad?

And truth be told, I honestly think if I called the concierge at some of the hotels I've stayed in and asked him to send someone up to slice my soap, he actually would.  The staff always seem way too eager to do whatever I've ask, no matter how ridiculous and unreasonable the demand.  Nothing is too hard, no request too difficult.

It sure beats home where, no matter how many times I ask, Gypsy the Feline Dictator refuses to turn down the bed and put a chocolate on the pillow.

But seriously, if you've never stayed in a five star hotel before, do yourself a favour and try it, even if it's just for a single night.  Get on one of those cheap last minute hotel deal sites, book the room that has the biggest discount, then go and pretend to be rich and famous for an evening.  Ask the concierge to bring you extra bubble bath.  Call room service and have them bring you an icecream sundae.  Order every spa treatment you can to be done in your room.

It's indulgent and totally decadent ... but so worth it.

32 comments:

  1. I'm with you! Camping, and the desire to camp, mystify me.

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    1. I know! That's why we invented hotels in the first place!

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  2. Motel 6 gives free donuts in the morning!

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  3. I know this is going to sound odd..but...I'd prefer the camping I think.

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  4. What is wrong with me? I've been roughing it this whole time in hotels simply by asking that the sheets not be crusty with the remnants of previous occupants! I need to get up on this unspoken amenities thing.

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    1. You better start planning your unreasonable demands ahead of time.

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  5. I checked in to a hotel once and found the county coroner still in my room tending to a dead guy they found there. This was quite a surprise as otherwise it wasn't that bad of a place. (Most of the letters in the neon sign out front still worked.)

    S

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  6. I'm only a couple of hour's drive from Coronado--maybe I'll try out the gondola massage--I'll let you know !!

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  7. Oh yes Kellie, I love all the luxuries of hotels when I go abroad. But one thing I always do is to buy some bug spray to kill off any remnants of someone else's stuff, on what's going to be my bed for the next 2 weeks or so. I spray the mattress and everything until I think it's all DEAD. Don't fancy coming back to lovely England with critters hitching a ride....

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    1. You know, I never think of that! I suppose I should, just because I think the place is clean doesn't mean it is.

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  8. I remember being in bed with Mrs. C. in a fancy downtown hotel when the door unlocked and a guy burst into the room carrying his bride across the thresh hold. The front desk had made a mix up. The newlyweds didn't look pleased to see us.

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    1. LOL! I suppose as long as you didn't invite them to join you, no harm no foul.

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  9. What? Gypsie the FD won't do your bidding!? Haha, I'm with you waaaay over 'roughing' it in any way, shape or form!

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    1. No, Gypsy refuses to wait on me. Ungrateful creature!

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  10. It is nice to pamper yourself once in a while, but as far as the part about the menu of adult toys... I would almost be afraid to look.

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  11. I won't camp or do any of those other things that you won't do. My mother raised me to be a princess. Too bad the prince turned out to be nuts.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. LOL! My mother didn't raise me to be a princess ... I guess I was just born that way.

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  12. I have stayed in some nice hotels in my day. The best one I think was the Hyatt Regency in Coral Gables Florida. Fabulous place. I like my clean towels and toiletries when I go away and I love getting into a freshly made bed. Princess? Me? lol

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  13. I love staying in luxury hotels but I would never think to ask the staff for anything... I already feel like the hotel room meets my needs. I couldn't imagine "borrowing" some sex toys from them! Ew.

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    1. I know! In my humble opinion, sex toys aren't meant to be communal.

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  14. 'Roughing it' is staying in any motel less than a Holiday Inn. Hands down, Ritz Carltons are consistently wonderful.

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    1. I even resent having to stay at the three and a half star places.

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  15. I'm only willing to camp if it involves a cabin with a full kitchen, satellite tv, a queen or king sized bed and plenty of wood pre chopped in case I need it. I love good hotels for no other reasons than the beds are so fantastic. I love the ones that make it feel like you are being hugged as you sleep. So nice.

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    1. My favourite part of expensive hotels is the linen. Their sheets are the best!

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  16. I, too am not the sort to rough it. Sleeping in a tent isn't my idea of a vacation. While I don't require a Tan Butler or a gold Ipad, I do require some nice amenities at a hotel. I want nice bedding and consistent heating and cooling. Even some of the 5 star hotels run hot and cold.

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