Monday, October 21, 2013

Just call me the cuddlewhore...

Source
I'm totally in the wrong line of business.

No, seriously, why did I decide to be an accountant again?  What with all the numbers and the spreadsheets and the wails of "But I don't have enough money!  Give me more money!", I'm beginning to wonder if I should have thought about it a teensy bit harder.

I suppose you do get to boss people around, so that's always nice.  There's something about being in charge of the money that seems to scare the bejezus out of people.   I'm pretty sure that there are more than a couple senior managers who would do a rousing version of Knees Up Mother Brown for my amusement, just because of how scared they are of having to do their own finances.

 It's just that in some areas the job is ... lacking.

The biggest one?  That would be the lack of cuddling opportunities, hands down.  You get surprisingly few offers of a quick hug when people just see you as "that finance type person".  Work as a psychologist?  Lots of hugs.  As a lawyer?  Well they always seem to hug after they win a case on TV.  As a sporting person?  Hugs galore and the odd pat on the butt.  As an actor?  More hugs than you know what to do with ... and if you're really lucky, a simulated sex scene or two!

But no one wants to hug the person that told them their salaries budget was at risk of going over by more than the acceptable percentage and they'll need to submit a report to senior management.  It just doesn't happen.

Maybe I should have done what this woman did [link] and started a cuddling business.  She actually gets paid for cuddling people AND taking naps, can you believe it?  I want that job!

I suppose I could start an on-the-side business at work.  I could put up one of those little signs ala Lucy's therapist sigh in Peanuts, declaring that "The Cuddler Is In".

I wonder if I'd get many takers.

29 comments:

  1. I work as a college admissions counselor and there are lots of hugging opportunities! But I always let them initiate it of course, HR would kind of frown on it lol.

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  2. If someone were telling me that I was saving money and on the right track financially I'd be hugging them profusely. Sadly that's not the case with a good majority of people is it? Well, here's a virtual hug! XX

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  3. I might be willing to take you up on this. Please post your rates.

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  4. I'm a touchy feely person, myself, so I think I'd qualify for the job of hugging people! Besides, I'm Italian, and everyone KNOWS we love to hug! I just started a new job and after a couple hours of orientation I was saying goodbye to my boss and I almost hugged her. Thank GOD I grabbed a hold of my senses and reigned myself in just in time.

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    1. LOL! I'm a hugger at work too, and I always have to remind myself it's not appropriate to hug people who could be considered my boss.

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  5. You could probably make a darn good living as a hugger, Kellie. Actual cuddling could put you on the Forbes list. :)

    S

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  6. If you had a hugging business, I'd stop by every day! ^_^

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  7. You're right I got tons of hugs when I was still actively practicing. I get them every now and then as a professor but they are more the side hugs. When I get the genuine full on hug I'll let you know. I'll start getting more if I go into private practice.

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    Replies
    1. LOL! You should definitely plan your career around the hugging possibilities.

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  8. I work in insurance... No one ever hugs me.

    Ever.

    Hugs!!!!!!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. Yep, that's another seriously underhugged industry.

      *HUGS*

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  9. I work in insurance... No one ever hugs me.

    Ever.

    Hugs!!!!!!

    Valerie

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  10. Haha, you and I are on the same path this week. I, too, wrote about the cuddle biz. I am not thinking I want to pay $60.00 to spoon with a stranger but seems a lot of others are. Anything can be sold with the right marketing.

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    1. There's obviously a market for it, I just want to cash in while I still can.

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  11. I think you've already seen this, but I thought I'd remind in case you want a business partner:

    http://muppetsforjustice.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/i-like-big-cuddles-and-i-cannot-lie.html

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  12. Even worse... Audit or Compliance. When they see you coming, people scream and run away.

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  13. In this era of sexual harassment, I just don't hug anyone unless it's a very close friend. So for me it has nothing to do with profession, and everything to do with not being sued for millions.

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    Replies
    1. Probably the safe way to go ... but I'd miss the hugs.

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  14. I'm fine with the hugging. The "snuggling" and cuddling, not so much. Especially after reading the link. The FAQ page had me smiling, though.

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    Replies
    1. LOL! I just know that at least three quarters of her enquiries are just creepy!

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