I just can't keep living a lie, it's eating me up inside. It's time for me to come clean and tell you all the horrendous secret I've been keeping for the past fifteen years.
Wow, this is hard ... courage, Kellie, you can do this! Back in the late 90's ... I may have had a bit of a crush on Jamie Oliver.
I know, okay, I know it sounds bad.
Believe me, if I'd had any idea how that particular train wreck was going to go, I would have nipped it in the bud right from the start. But how was I to know he would turn into an annoying, patronising nitwit with more than a wee bit of a messiah complex?
Back then he was so adorably bumbling and sincere! He'd stumble his way through the episodes of "The Naked Chef" with someone behind the camera having to ask him questions and prompt him through because he was so obviously out of his depth.
I was in my early twenties, okay! I was young and impressionable, I didn't see a future egomaniac who would turn his shows into little more than the horrendous reality style programs I hate so much. I just saw a cute boy with a British accent who could cook.
I kind of miss him, actually.
So, do you guys have any confessions to make? Crushes you'd rather not admit too? Come on, I was honest, you can be too. You're in a safe space to share your deepest humiliations ... the internet.