Wednesday, June 12, 2013

You've changed, man, you used to be cool...

Source
I have a confession to make, guys.

I just can't keep living a lie, it's eating me up inside.  It's time for me to come clean and tell you all the horrendous secret I've been keeping for the past fifteen years.

Wow, this is hard ... courage, Kellie, you can do this!  Back in the late 90's ... I may have had a bit of a crush on Jamie Oliver.

I know, okay, I know it sounds bad.

Believe me, if I'd had any idea how that particular train wreck was going to go, I would have nipped it in the bud right from the start.  But how was I to know he would turn into an annoying, patronising nitwit with more than a wee bit of a messiah complex?

Back then he was so adorably bumbling and sincere!  He'd stumble his way through the episodes of "The Naked Chef" with someone behind the camera having to ask him questions and prompt him through because he was so obviously out of his depth.

I was in my early twenties, okay!  I was young and impressionable, I didn't see a future egomaniac who would turn his shows into little more than the horrendous reality style programs I hate so much.  I just saw a cute boy with a British accent who could cook.

I kind of miss him, actually.

So, do you guys have any confessions to make?  Crushes you'd rather not admit too?  Come on,  I was honest, you can be too.  You're in a safe space to share your deepest humiliations ... the internet.

94 comments:

  1. Joe from NKOTB! I thought he was dreamy. Also,(and this is really embarrassing) Sean Connery. He is so sexy as an old guy. Maybe it was just his accent. I met my dream guy in the produce section one day. He was obviously italian, obviously sexy, obviously had a dreamy accent. He asked me how to tell the difference between cilantro and parsley. I still daydream about that day. I could have listened to him talk forever. If I weren't happily married, well who knows. ;)

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    1. LOL! I remember the NKOTB days, scribbling their names on my school satchel.

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  2. I still like Richard Gere. I've never tried to hide it. Ever since he swaggered onscreen in American Gigolo, well, mmmmmmmmm.

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  3. Oh yeah....I used to have a crush on that girl from American Gladiators....no wait, maybe it was roller derby. Or fake wrestling. Anyway, Stacy something. I thought she was hot! But then she took up with George Clooney and my bubble burst. Ah....what could have been. *sigh* ;)

    S

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  4. I am rather stuck on Curtis Stone. Or maybe I just want a man to cook for me.

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    1. Oh, he's gorgeous isn't he, and I'm not even that into blondes normally.

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  5. Annette, Sheri Lewis (without Lambchop), Cindi Lauper (still), And the wife on "Home Improvement"

    I always hated Jamie Oliver, his food never sounded appetizing to me. Plus I never thought he was cute.

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    1. I have a friend who has an undying love for Cindi Lauper. He loved her so much he was willing to pay the exorbitant amount she charged when she was playing in a Leagues Club here a few years back.

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  6. Um, this is not that embarrassing. Apparently when I was a child, I had a crush on Richard Simmons. Yes, Mr. Sweatin' With the Oldies. I will never live that down.

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    1. Aww, I bet that was cute! You making moon eyes over Richard.

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  7. For a week while I was running a high fever I only surfaced to see Top Gear and developed a crush on James May. It went away when my temperature returned to normal.

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  8. Edward Norton, however it is not unconditional love. I only like him when he's playing the bad-guy, because then he has a goatee. Yes. Yes facial hair. Actually, it might not even be Edward Norton at all. I just have a crush on beards.

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    1. Well, you're only human. I've always had a thing for handlebar moustaches myself

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  9. I used to think Dennis Rodman was the Greatest Detroit Piston (that was before I became friends with Vinnie Johnson and found out what a really great guy he is). Anyway, at the time I met Dennis he was married and I thought his wife was the weird one. HAH!

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  10. My confession: I was addicted to the Jodie Arias trial. She was so guilty of torturing and murdering her ex-boyfriend that I really wanted to see her punished. I'm not proud about it.

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  11. I had a crush on Mark Hamill when Star Wars first came out (I was something like 12, ok?) My mom had a crush on Harrison Ford. Then she developed a crush on Neil Diamond and I had to listen to those damn records for half my childhood.

    A more recent kind of embarrassing crush is Vin Diesel...

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    1. Ooh, I could never have a crush on Vin Diesel. Ever since I saw how he kissed in The Fast & The Furious, all I can think about is how he looked so awkward.

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  12. Naked Chef and Two Fat Ladies were two of my youngest's favorite shows when he was little.

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    1. I used to like Two Fat Ladies. They were a crack up.

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  13. You are not alone. I cut out a little picture of The Naked Chef from a magazine and stuck it onto my year 11 homework planner. Right next to Marilyn Manson, Kurt and Courtney and the guy from Greenday (Billy Joe? Billy Joel?). Kenneth Brannagh lived in the lid of my pencil tin.

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    1. Oh, I loved Kenneth Brannagh with all my heart after seeing him in Much Ado About Nothing.

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  14. Oh, dear. OK, I will admit that I check the Peopleofwalmart.com website every single day. And sometimes more often than that. An embarrassing crush would be Leif Garrett.

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    1. Ooh, I like overheardinnewyork.com, it's great for eavesdropped conversations.

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  15. I was sooo in love with the Hoff (David Hasselhoff that is). I thought he was so cool in Knight Rider. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe it was KITT that I really crushed on.

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    1. LOL! I don't know if I ever watched Knight Rider, but I do remember him in Baywatch.

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  16. "You're in a safe space to share your deepest humiliations ... the internet." That right there is pure gold Kellie.

    My deepest crushes? Is there enough room here to list them? Yeah there have been many. Doesn't my name give away any indication that I'm not exactly an angel? I mean we both have wings, (angels and pixies) but any more similarities are purely coincidental.

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    1. I probably wouldn't have room to list all my embarrassing crushes either :D

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  17. Well, #1, you're right about Jamie. He's become a nincompoop, and #2, i admit i had (kind of an enormous) crush on ... Greg Brady. (Barry Williams). But i was, like, 11, ya know?? Lol

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  18. I had a slight crush on him to ...and then i mastered the English language man he is annoying now!

    I totally stand to my crush of Brian Cox and Stephen Fry!

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  19. Shhh, don't tell anyone.....Richard Chamberlain (The Thornbirds) and Richard Gere forever and always.

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  20. When I was a teenager I had a terrible crush on John Taylor from Duran Duran. I spent countless hours watching MTV just waiting for one (PLEASE GOD JUST ONE) Duran Duran video. And please give John Taylor some actual Face Time. So tired of Simon LeBon...

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    1. LOL! What did we do before the internet era? I love being able to youtube anything I want to see without having to wait for the TV god's whims.

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  21. Napoleon Solo from the Man from Uncle and the guy in the Professionals with the curly hair.

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  22. Okay.. there are a couple of Mommy blogs I read and I don't know why because usually they totally annoy me and I just want to tell them in the comments how really stupid they are and that they need to grow up and that their children look anemic. But I don't.

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    1. LOL! The ones who do it well do it really well, but the ones that don't ... don't.

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  23. I used to have a real Hitler fetish back in 1932. Whoopsie. But he was soooo charismatic and spoke German, the romance language. Also, I misread at first and thought you were into John Oliver the comedian.

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    1. You and most of Germany, dude.

      And I can say that because my family's from there. Loophole racism, you gotta love it.

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  24. Deborah Harry, was so hot back in The Day, I'd still hit on her today.

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  25. Don't worry. We're all allowed our crushes. The main thing is that you're alright now.

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    1. Thank you. It's taken a lot of time and therapy, but I think I'm over the worst. Post traumatic Jamie disorder is a serious issue.

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  26. Or do you just miss the skinny Jamie who actually lived what he preached?

    God, if I started listing all the celebs I had a crush on we'd be here all year!!!!!!!

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  27. You already know how I feel about Dean Stockwell.... I apologize for nothing! ;0)

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. Nor should you! Dean Stockwell is awesome and he rocked those patterned shirts and skinny ties he wore in Quantum Leap.

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  28. I'm still on a mission to turn Anderson Cooper straight!!!!!

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  29. I was over 40 when I developed a crush on Jamie- it didn't last long but it was there that's for sure. lol. Funny now to think of it.

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    1. Oh Jamie, why did you have to become such an annoying git.

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  30. I'm pretty sure that Paul Simon had a crush on me. I passed him in a hall once and I'm very short and he's very short and looked right at me and I'm pretty sure he fell in love with me. He is not my type, however. Too short.

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    1. Oh, poor Paul! You probably broke his wee little heart!

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  31. You know how I feel about Donny Osmond, but did I ever mention my love from Murdock from the A-Team? WTF. I need help.

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    1. And who doesn't love Donny Osmond! He is the epitome of the nice guy.

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  32. I was obsessed with Madonna since the day I first heard her voice in 1984. I remained obsessed until I was around 22 years old and then everyone started questioning my sexuality. So I obsessed in secret... but then she got all weird.

    I kinda have a thing for Rachael Ray...

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    1. Poor Madonna, so much talent mixed with so much batshitcrazy.

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  33. I have a weird thing for NYC mayors. I really have no idea why; my husband thinks I'm insane. But I think Guiliani (well, in his day) and Bloomberg (still) are hot! (I can't believe I just said that out loud!)

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    1. LOL! Okay, I'm feeling a bit better about Jamie now ;D

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  34. Susan Sarandon and Sigourney Weaver are two people people whose … minds I like to explore.

    What? What were you expecting from your friendly, neighbourhood Bear?

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting, Life in the Urban Forest (poetry).

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    1. Yes, they've both got very nicely shaped ... minds.

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  35. Amazing!

    wwww.DeluxeFashionista.com

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  36. It's strange what fame does to a person. I prefer to crush on a character, who never changes, than a real person, who often morphs into someone I barley recognize.

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    1. Yep, I should definitely stick to fictional people from now on.

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  37. My confession is that I used to have a crush on Winnie from the Wonder Years :-)

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    1. Oh wow, that one takes me back. I haven't seen that show in years.

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  38. I do not think my John Cusack crush is much more admirable...besides, i don't even know if he could make me dinner!

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    1. That's true, Jamie might be a bit of a prat these days, but at least he could make me a nice cheesecake if I asked.

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  39. Mmm Jamie pre-messiah complex... Yeah, I went there as well.

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    1. I suspect there are more of us than are willing to admit it.

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  40. I used to have a crush on Anne Diamond who presented Good Morning Britain.

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  41. Little Joe on Bonanza...and I hate westerns, but watched it to see Little Joe.

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  42. OH my I have a huge crush on Edward Scissorhands ... yes he is real ...he is ~ really !

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  43. Fred from Scooby Doo. For real.

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  44. At least Jamie can cook! I use to have a crush on...Leonardo Dicaprio when I was younger...I still like his movies (the ones where he isn't trying to do an accent lol) but I think I am over him in terms of attraction.

    New follower :)

    http://diaryofatrendaholic.blogspot.ca/

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    1. Yeah, I used to like him too but he's looking more and more like Jack Nicholson every day so not so much anymore.

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  45. I can understand the attraction to a guy with an accent who can also cook. Sounds like a dream come true.

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  46. Casey Jones from TMNT cartoon. I didn't call it a crush, but looking back, that is really when I started my love affair with anti-heroes.

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    1. LOL! They definitely have more angst than your common or garden variety hero, and I do love me some angst!

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