Monday, June 24, 2013

The only way I'd believe it works is if they put crack in it...

Source
Apparently there's a new dieting aide on the market kids, and it requires next to no effort from the user so you just know it's going to be popular!

Maybe not effective, but definitely popular.

So has anyone else read about this new dieting perfume [link]?  According to the sales pitch, you spray it on and it suppresses your appetite, boosts your metabolism and improves your mood.  That's an awful lot for one little bottle of smelly stuff, isn't it.

They claim that their combination of different herbs will help you to lose weight while you sniff.  Yeah, there's something else out there that you can sniff that'll help you lose weight, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend cocaine to get rid of those extra kilos either.

It seems like every time we turn around there's another snake oil merchant trying to convince us they've found the ideal solution to all our tubby woes.  Take this pill, sniff that perfume, eat that rhino placenta, and soon you'll be a perfect size 8 with perky breasts and a butt that won't quit.

I don't know, does anyone else miss the old days of weight loss scams?  Sure, swallowing tape worms or having a nice soothing cigarette might kill you, but at least they had some real measurable success!

But maybe I'm being a bit harsh.  I don't really know the science behind the new scent, maybe it's perfectly legitimate and people will be wasting away before our very eyes ... but I doubt it.

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that if it seems to be too good to be true, you can bet your little cotton socks that it is.

72 comments:

  1. well perfume can improve your mood, but lose weight? yeah, right.

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    1. I'm going to have to assume it's complete malarkey.

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  2. Hey, that perfume stuff really does work. Now how do I get rid of these perky breasts and an ass that won't quit!

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    1. LOL! Now now, I'm sure you have lovely breasts, Joe!

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  3. Perhaps the smell is dog poo. That would certainly put me off eating.

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  4. Here we go again Kellie. I wonder how many people were guinea pigs for this one. And I wonder what the survey said - 1 out of 10 or 1 in 100,000,000 tried and liked this product! I always read the small print on those adverts.

    I guess someone somewhere is making some good money though.

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    1. Never trust research statistics. Statistics lie like a cheap rug!

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  5. Snake oil will be peddled as long as stupid people exist in the world. In other words -- it's a growing market!

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    1. I really should get in on that. How do I expect to become independently wealthy if I don't start taking advantage of my more gullible brethren.

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  6. But wait....there's more! Be one of the first 50 people who call and we'll DOUBLE the offer! That's right folks....2 gallons of Pete's perky breast and butt fragrance. Call now!

    S

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    1. Throw in a set of steak knives and a snuggie and I'm sold!

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  7. I'm sure they would send any blogger a bottle to sniff for free if they promise to give their honest opinion regarding the results of their product. Let's all sniff it!

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    1. Ooh, maybe we should all start spamming them for free samples!

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  8. OMGosh Kellie - you are hilarious! Yes, I've said this several times before but it's my first thought whenever I wade through a pile of new posts that pop up from the mountain of blogs I follow that I wish I didn't and then I see YOURS and click IMMEDIATELY because it's going to be refreshing, brutally honest and.....what else? HILARIOUS!
    You are a real gem!

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  9. Gack! There are many scents that help me lose my appetite, lol, like some kinds of 'fertilizer', mating skunks, etc. But no one makes perfume out of those. So yes, your bet about the cotton socks is likely right on.

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    1. Although I do think a perfume made out of those might actually be effective!

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  10. And yes, you really are hilarious! I love the way you write. Your posts always make me laugh hysterically. :D

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  11. Having struggled with my weight since I was a child, I've come to the conclusion that people were right all along there is only 1 sensible answer....eat less, do more. Or if you want to eat that lovely tempting bad for you stuff be prepared to work your arse off. My friend took some of those tablets that stop you absorbing fat. She lost weight because she couldn't leave the house to buy food because she couldn't control her bowels when the moment struck.....pass me the lettuce!

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    1. I always liked Scott Adam's theory on it. He said if he liked exercise as much as he likes sandwiches, he'd be thin. But he doesn't, so he isn't.

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  12. Eating the right stuff and exercising, that's all it takes.

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    1. Ah, but that's not a magical cure all that will sell millions!

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  13. Maybe you're spraying on a toxin that will eat away at your fat and tissues and muscles and bone. You'll lose weight sure but you probably won't survive it.

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    1. And then you'll lose even more weight as you slowly decompose, so I guess it's win/win!

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  14. People want to do every thing but eat right for loosing weight huh?
    Meanwhile my daughter and my husband were debating whether or not Rhinos were mammal. Ofcourse they are, so my husband wins. Still please leave poor animals alone.

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  15. As long as society demands size 2 jeans and perky breasts, (and for guys, a full head of hair and washboard abs) there will be desperate people ready to buy anything that suggests it will give a person those things.

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    1. True. And what an awful thing it would be for those snake oil merchants if they didn't! Will nobody think of the snake oil merchants!

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  16. what next, I have never heard of this but I'm not surprised!

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    1. I guess there's no limit to what people will do to avoid diet and exercise.

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  17. A product that could do what this one claims would be worth it's weight in gold. You're right---too good to be true.

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    1. Yeah, unless they're making it of something so disgusting that you lose your appetite, it probably ain't gonna work.

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  18. You drink it, right? You're supposed to injest it and you're no longer hungry and better yet, you can't keep food down. That's how it's supposed to work, right? PLEASE SAY YES! Oh god, I think I see my dead grandparents. They're flipping me off and standing next to Daffy Duck doing unspeakable things to Donald Duck. Why can I smell colors!?! Hello darkness my old friend.

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    1. Oh crap, no I have scary visuals of Donald and Daffy that involve a St Andrews Cross and a can of Cool Whip!

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  19. Wow smell your way thin. What will they think of next.

    Now, with that said if they ever come up with a real Adispose diet I'm all on board but that' mainly in hopes of one getting an Adipose and two meeting The Doctor.

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    1. Oh, I so want an Adipose! They were just adorable!

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  20. This morning's local paper had a story about a business that shrinks your fat cells with lasers. No dieting required. Right!

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    1. See now I'd totally believe the laser one. They're like the Swiss-Army Knife of the science world!

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  21. Nothing like the gullible person's hopes and dreams to fatten the bank balances of these sophisticated scammers.

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    1. I really have to work out a good scam. That seems to be the way to get rich quick.

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  22. I'm desperate to lose weight, but not THAT desperate.

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    1. I think it's probably one of those "fool and his money" situations.

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  23. "eat rhino placenta"????? Ha! and ew! Quit making this stuff up. I'll start to believe it. :)

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    1. LOL! Yep, guilty as charged. To my knowledge rhino placenta has never been a diet supplement.

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  24. Perfume and cocaine are two things i haven't tried while trying to lose the odd kilo or 30. Dieting and exercise are another two. Shame, shame x

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    1. I must admit, diet and exercise are horrible enough that I might be tempted to give the perfume a try. You never know!

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  25. This doesn't sound like a scentsible plan.

    But I'm a Bear; what do I know?

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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  26. Haha this is ridiculous. I'll almost definitely try it though - anything to avoid the gym x

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  27. This is almost brilliant. It's like "Let's find something that isn't a diet pill and say it'll make you lose weight." Then your product is different and unique and therefore must work.

    Please check out my new line of enemas that actually boost your metabolism by shooting appetite suppressants directly into your colon. Or something like that.

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  28. I am with you on the "I doubt it". Sadly, most of the proven methods of losing weight seems to require effort(exercise and not eating everything that one would want) or surgery. I won't be running out to get new perfume.

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    1. I wouldn't pay for it, but if they gave it to me I'd give it a burl. You never know your luck in the big city!

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  29. Does the perfume contain any acid? Maybe it melts off some of those unnecessary skin pounds.

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    1. At least then it'd have some basis for it's claims!

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  30. The smell of most perfumes works as an appetite suppressor for me!

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    1. LOL! Maybe it's just a really horrible smell that makes you feel sick.

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  31. I will drink the hell out of this perfume... After eating my tapeworm, of course.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. You don't get any perfume until you've eaten all your tapeworms, young lady!

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  32. Will it work faster if I spray it directly on my ass?

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  33. I can only imagine how quickly people will evaporate from using this. You know, the ones who bathe in their cologne?

    Is it like smoking and has double the effect on people around you as well? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

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  34. Seems a little too good to be true

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    1. Oh, I'd bet money on it being too good to be true.

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  35. here is a thought - what if it would smell like vomit? that surely could work as a dieting aid!

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  36. New commenter/follower from
    http://fluffimama.blogspot.com/
    Thanks for linking up today!

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