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The other day I was wandering around on Tumblr, as is my wont, when I came across one of those lists of things that make you feel happy. You know the sort I mean, it's full of things like "watching the sun rise" and "hearing a child's first laugh".Ugh, awful isn't it.
Let's just be completely honest here, no one actually feels a deep spiritual awakening at any of those things that are on those god damned lists. No, dancing in the rain does not nurture my soul, I don't think that a snowflake is a miracle, and the sound of a babbling brook just makes me want to pee.
So I decided to make a list of the things that DO make me feel spiritually invigorated and connect with me on a deep, emotional level. And if you're completely honest, you'll admit that they connect with you too.
- Watching as someone who just cut in front of you in a line trips over their own feet.
- That little thrill you get when you hang up on a telemarketer.
- Realising someone going into an elevator that you just farted in.
- Looking at the facebook page of someone you hated in highschool and discovering their life turned out just as horribly as you'd always hoped it would.
- Zooming past the person who just cut in front of you in traffic, because your lane is now moving and the one they just HAD to get into has come to a complete standstill
- Realising the cashier in the supermarket thought you gave her a fifty instead of a twenty, and then NOT returning the money.
See, this is what we are. We're petty, vindictive, nasty people, and pretending otherwise is just silly.
But I'll give you the cute puppy videos. Everyone loves cute puppy videos.
