Monday, August 26, 2013

Ooh ... little lower ... to the left ... yeah, that's the spot...

Source
So imagine you're lying in bed when you her a noise down stairs.  You're alone in the house, so you know that whoever's down there shouldn't be.  The noises get closer and closer, the door opens, then someone silently slips into the bed beside you.

And starts to give you a back rub.

Yup, didn't see that one coming, did you!

But that's exactly what happened to a North Carolina woman when some bloke snuck into her room, crawled into her bed, and tried to give her a massage [link].

Ugh, just makes me shiver thinking about it.

Now I love a good massage.  There can never be too many back rubs in my humble opinion, and anyone who'd like to volunteer as my personal neck/back rubber can apply in the comments, but I just can't condone unsolicited middle-of-the-night neck back and shoulder fondling.  That's the sort of move a sexually awkward teen uses to hit on a girl ... the neck rub, not the crawling into bed in the middle of the night.

I remember back when I was in high school a boy did that to me.  I don't even remember why we were sitting in a position where it was possible for him to scoot up behind me and start kneading my shoulders, but he did and I just about jumped out of my skin!

Now days I'll let pretty much anyone give me a neck rub, I'm not at all discerning and, quite frankly, completely shameless.  But I was sixteen, and he surprised me.  Quite frankly, he's lucky I didn't elbow him in the face out of fright.

But I don't want to belittle what that woman must have gone through.  Whatever the guy's intentions were (and I can't imagine they were good), it must have been terrifying to wake up and find a stranger in bed with you, not knowing what he was going to do.  She must have assumed the worst, I know I would have.

Personally, I think she showed admirable restraint by not kicking him in the 'nads, but that's just my humble opinion.

50 comments:

  1. Every spinsters dearly held dream (after checking under the bed in hope before turning in for the night).

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  2. So what happened? I am guessing this didn't have a happy ending.

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    1. You have Happy endings on the mind today then Joeh!

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    2. It is very freudian, I think I agree with Lanthie

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  3. Egad, I think it would be most horrible!!
    I'm visiting today from Super Sunday Sync. Thanks for linking up!

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  4. What a creepy dude and a frightening situation for the woman. Yikes!

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  5. I am with Joeh... so what did happen? There is a story here and I am now dying to know it.

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    1. LOL! Do you mean between the woman and her break in masseuse, or between me and my surprise classroom massage?

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  6. I don't know what he was there for, but I'm surprised he offered up a massage!

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  7. "unsolicited middle-of-the-night neck back and shoulder fondling" LOL. A class B felony in 36 states.

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    1. "You're under arrest! You have the right to remain creepy!"

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  8. Give him my address.... yes i need a massage that bad!!! Hahahahaha!!!
    xoxoxoxxo

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    1. LOL! I'm sure a lot of us would be "What are you doing! ... okay, but hands above the waist"

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  9. Lol creepy dude! And yesh, I agree. Love a good neckrub.

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  10. I don't care what the guy looks like - if he gives a good back rub it's okay! I hurt all the time and my husband sucks at back rubs. 'Course he'd have to explain his presence in our bed between my husband and me! ;)

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  11. Sounds like my youth, but I'm over it now.
    However, a great scalp rub, now that's a different thing.

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    1. LOL! You had a lot of people breaking in to give you back rubs when you were young?

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  12. Ah - I would do (almost) anything for a good massage. But she must have bee frightened to death! Hope all turned out okay for her.

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    1. Well he got arrested, turns out he's done it before. But from the article it sounds like she was okay.

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  13. CREEEPPPPYYYYY for sure. That nearly makes me want to keep a weapon under my pillow but then as klutzy as I am, I would injure myself.

    I am not a big fan of back rubs and it wouldn't help knowing that a complete stranger came into my home to offer one up. ICK.

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    1. I don't think I' stoop to having someone who broke in give me a back rub ... but then again I do like a good massage.

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  14. I would have kicked first, asked questions later - or never, let the police ask the questions. Wow, what a frightening story. I am with you and the just about anyone can give me a back/neck rub, but I have to know them.

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    1. Now days as long as they've introduced themselves in the last five minutes, they can give me a backrub. I'm not fussy ;P

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  15. That is terrifying! Some nights my hubby has to work late and I am alone in the house with the weird house noises.

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  16. Yeah, that's creepy. But if it was a good back rub, I might have waited 30 minutes before I called the cops. Maybe 45. ;)

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    1. Well you don't want to make decisions about calling the cops too quickly. Take your time, really think about it. And if you get a massage out of it, all the better.

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  17. My neck and back are so sore right now that I am thinking that it would not be the worst thing in the world. But yes, that is one strange and scary thing to happen.

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  18. Why couldn't he just get a full time paying job as a masseur, then everything would be upfront and legal. What a scary thing to happen. At least she's still alive to tell the story though.

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    1. That's a thought. Hell, he could have just bought himself one of those cheap folding massage tables and set himself up at the local markets!

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  19. The nerve. I'd have given the dude a good half hour to cut that out.

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  20. How did he get in? Didn't lock the door to her house? Wouldn't she react, grab a lamp to throw at the intruder?

    This sounds like rom-com material if you ask me.

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    1. It does make you wonder doesn't it. Although according to the story it's not the first time he's been arrested for it.

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  21. He should have tried pretending to be a pizza delivery man. If it works for pornos, why not real life?

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    1. Or a pool cleaner! The two staple imaginary careers of the porn actor.

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  22. Oh that is terrifying. Thankfully I have an inbuilt creep detector in my cat, who growls when anyone walks by the window (and sometimes even when someone DOESN'T walk by the window). And if someone actually comes into the house she immediately leaps under the bed.

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    1. LOL! I'd like to think Gypsy the Feline Dictator would warn me if someone broke in, but truth is all it'd take to buy her silence is a piece of chicken.

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  23. Women are so complicated. On one side they are complaining that men don't cuddle enough and then on the other they complain when you break into their home in the middle of the night and get into bed with them. It's such a fine line.

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  24. Hahaha did this actually happen? That's HILARIOUS x

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    1. Apparently! Probably not amusing for her, but the idea of a guy breaking in to give her a neck rub is pretty funny, at least to me.

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  25. I heard about this before! Weird! I guess if he had rung the door bell and asked, she would have said no....but maybe not... In college my dorm roommate and I were sitting around and a guy friend (not boy friend) came over to visit. I complained that I had a horrible headache and he told me he would give me a neck rub. I was hesitant but I figured what the heck. He told me I had a stress headache. Sure enough after about 5 minutes of this guys glorious fingers rubbing away on my stressed out neck muscles the headache was gone.

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    1. Wow ... do you still have his number, I could use a good massage ;D

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